


in a hopeless place

by twoorangecookies



Category: Power Rangers (2017)
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Burn, Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use, Underage Smoking, other rangers appear, the outsiders au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2020-10-12 07:44:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 64,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20560724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twoorangecookies/pseuds/twoorangecookies
Summary: Trini is a greaser. Society says she's trash, no good, but she knows she has more to offer than her small town will ever allow. She fights every day to survive. She looks forward to the day she can leave her town and find a better life with her best friends Zack and Billy. What she doesn't expect is Kimberly Hart. A social, or soc. Kimberly has it all. Everything that Trini could only dream of. And there's something about her, something new, that Trini can't explain. A couple not-so-bad exchanges leave her baffled, and she has no idea what to make of this person that she's always known as The Queen Soc. Is there something more to Kimberly? Does Trini want to find out?*A 'The Outsiders' AU*





	1. as your shadow crosses mine

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome! I hope you enjoy this new story of mine. If you read my others and are waiting for updates, I apologize. I've been in a major writer's block for the past couple of months. I have not abandoned them. Right now, this is what I can work on. There should be plenty of drama and fun ahead!
> 
> Loosely based on the book 'The Outsiders' by S. E. Hinton. The movie is great, go watch it. Major thanks to RealistTash for the early support. Enjoy! (As always, you can find me on tumblr at 5ivebyfive for any questions or concerns.)
> 
> Work and chapter titles from "We Found Love" by Rhianna.

_ "yellow diamonds in the light _

_ and we're standing side by side" _

* * *

The campfire was crackling as Trini walked around it picking up the crushed beer cans and cigarette butts. She tossed them into the rusted out trash can off to the side and glanced back. Zack was sitting up in his broken lawn chair, arms crossed and head drooped forward, fast asleep. Across the fire, Billy was curled up in his sleeping bag, which was coming apart at the seams. Trini smiled softly at the thought of the new blue one stashed in the back of her closet that she’d gotten him for his upcoming birthday. She knew he was going to love it. 

She sighed. It hadn’t been a good night at her house, but when was it ever, and she was glad to be out at the old mines with her boys. She patted the pockets of her leather jacket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one up. Taking a long drag, she walked off towards the woods to find a spot to pee. As she got deeper into the trees a splashing sound caught her attention. She continued through the trees into a small clearing that overlooked one of the small waterfalls, and came to a stop in time to see a girl climbing out of the water in a pink bikini and climbing high on to one of the rocks. Then the girl turned around and dove backwards into the pool of water. Trini’s brows raised as she exhaled smoke, and she shook her head. That girl was crazy. Trini didn’t care enough to watch much longer, despite the fact that the crazy girl had a banging body, and she turned to go back into the woods. Before she could get far into the trees though, she heard a voice behind her.

“No, that’s not creepy.”

She spun around on her heel and saw the girl standing before her, towel wrapped around her body. Trini shrugged. “Sorry?”

“Do you _usually_ stand in the shadows and watch girls swim?” The girl’s head tilted, and her short bob of hair swished around her face.

Trini’s defenses went up right away. Her eyes narrowed. “You  _ do _ know you’re in greaser territory, right?”

“You say that like I’m a soc or something,” the girl responded.

“You are.”

“You don’t know me.”

“You’re Kimberly Hart,” Trini answered. She dropped her cigarette butt and stubbed it out with her combat boot.

“That...doesn’t mean you know me,” Kimberly said, almost amused.

“No, but I do know you’re a soc.”

“I live on the other side of the mountain.” As if that explained it.

“Right...well, this side, is greaser land.”

“This side has the best diving rocks.”

“Whatever.” Trini shook her head and turned to go again.

“You still didn’t tell me what you’re doing out here watching me.”

Trini stilled and turned back again, rolling her eyes as she did. “I don’t owe you an explanation.” God, she hated socs. They were so entitled to everything. Even land that wasn’t theirs.

“You were perving on me.”

“In your dreams.”

Kimberly pulled the towel from her body and brought it up to run over her hair, and Trini couldn’t help the way her eyes trailed down the girl’s body. When she looked up again, Kimberly was smirking.

“Oh, screw you,” Trini huffed.

“Hey, I’m just trying to have a friendly conversation.”

“Have you ever, once in your life, had a  _ friendly conversation _ with a greaser?” Trini’s question was met with silence. “Didn’t think so.” She took a step backwards. “So I’m gonna go, and we can pretend this never happened.”

Kimberly took a step forward. “You know...I don’t...I don’t believe in all of that. Socs versus greasers. We’re all stuck in this miserable town together.”

“It ain’t Santa Clause, princess. It’s real whether you wanna ‘believe’ it or not. But I’m sure it’s all  _ real _ hard for ya,” she added.

“Like I said, you don’t know me.”

“And  _ you _ don’t know  _ me _ .”

“You’re DeeDee. We’ve been in school together since we were kids. You hang out with that Billy kid.”

“My name’s  _ Trini _ ,” Trini said, glowering. “And Billy ain’t a kid, he’s the same age as both of us. You callin’ him that is  _ mad _ disrespectful. But good talk.” She turned around again, and that time kept walking into the woods.

“You’re a real piece of work, greaser,” she heard shouted behind her. She held a middle finger up over her head and kept going. It was nothing she hadn’t heard before.

* * *

The next morning, Trini stood on the edge of one of the cliffs and watched the sun rise as she did yoga, and her heavy metal blared through her old, staticy headphones. She kept asking for new ones for her birthday and Christmas, but her parents couldn’t afford them. She understood, but it still sucked. She tried not to think about those negative feelings as she moved slowly. She focused on her breathing and closed her eyes, the soft wind welcomed against her face.

When she was done she stood a moment longer and stared at the sight before her. For such a miserable town, it could be beautiful at sunrise. She wondered if her life had been different, if she’d been born a soc, if she would see the town -- the world -- differently. But she was a greaser. A lower income status, often seen as greasy and trouble-seeking. She ran her fingers through her hair. Well, it  _ was  _ kinda greasy. And socs. The second of the two classes in stupid Angel Grove, socials had money and high status. They viewed themselves as better than the greasers, and who was Trini kidding? They probably were better. But the fued between the two classes went back generations. Every kid learned who they were and who they were to hate. It was a vicious cycle that was never going to end, and Trini was a part of it. Stuck.

She took a couple of deep breaths to steel herself for the day ahead of her. She turned and looked back at the campfire. It was still smoking slightly, but she wasn’t worried about it. The boys were asleep. With a slight huff she walked over and shook Zack’s shoulder.

“C’mon, we got school,” she told him. He started to stir so she went to Billy’s side. She knelt down and shook him, softer, and called down to him. “Billy. Wake up. It’s time for school.”

Billy turned and stretched before sitting up and giving her a warm smile. “Good-morning, Trini.”

“Mornin’, bud,” she replied. She wasn’t sure how he always managed to smile. With all the shit they dealt with, and he even more. She sure didn’t have much to smile about. She got to her feet and looked back. Zack was asleep again. She went behind him and took his chair with two hands and dumped him out of it. He cried out as he rolled across the ground, and he sprawled on his back and looked up at her.

“Rude.”

“School,” she answered.

“You do know I got the worst attendance in the whole school, right?”

“And like I said before, that’s changin’. We’re all goin’ to school so we can get out of this hellhole together.”

Zack got up and brushed himself off. “No one gets out of here.”

“We will,” she said, determined.

“All for one and one for all!” Billy shouted out as he jumped to his feet.

“What he said,” Trini said.

Zack rolled his eyes, but bent to tie his shoes. “Fine, but I gotta stop and check on Mom.”

“Okay. We have time.” Trini nodded. She crossed her arms and waited for the boys to gather themselves together. 

She understood his need to see her. Mrs. Taylor was sick, real sick, and Zack was the only family she had to care for her. It ate away at him. Trini saw that every day. Most of the time when he skipped school it was for his mom, and while the school didn’t care, Trini did. Zack was obnoxious, argumentative, reckless, and a host of other things, but he was one of the two kindest people in Trini’s life. The other, of course, being Billy.

The three of them had been together since they were seven years old, and as far as she was concerned nothing could break them. They  _ were _ going to get away, and they were going to do it together. Like they did everything else.

“Okay, she’s good,” Zack said, coming out of his trailer and meeting Billy and Trini on the small porch that was semi-attached to it. 

Trini looked up at him and studied him to see if he was telling the truth. He gave her a small smile. “Okay,” she said, accepting his answer. She led the way down the steps and across the gravel parking lot. There weren’t many cars. Not many greaser families could afford cars, after all.

The three walked down the road in single-file quietly. Trini led the way to Billy’s house so he could leave his sleeping bag and put on clean clothes. Candace, as she insisted they called her, his mother, had already left for work. She often left in the early morning or even worked through the night. She was a nurse and her hours varied. She didn’t mind them sleeping at the mines whenever they wanted. She trusted them. And she knew they could handle themselves if any trouble came their way. Zack and Trini had taught Billy to fight and defend himself when they were young, and the three had proven time and again that they were good fighters. Only the most stubborn and stupid socs came for them anymore.

Speaking of.

The three friends were walking side-by-side down the road that led to the school and they heard a car slow behind them. Directly behind them. It crept slowly as they walked.

“Keep going,” Trini muttered to the boys.

“Hey!” Someone shouted to them from behind. “Greasers should walk in the gutter, where they belong!” Trini knew the voice, and she rolled her eyes. She wasn’t going to let him get to her. Not today. 

A horn blared long and loud. It made Billy jump and cover his ears. He stopped and Trini grabbed him and pulled him off the side of the road. The truck came to a stop and a boy leaned out of the passenger window, while another boy crawled out of the driver’s side window and sat on the door to stare at them over the top of the truck. 

“There you go,” the voice said again, the driver. “Right were trash belongs.” He laughed at his own joke, and his friend joined in. Two girls sat in the back of the truck, and Trini could hear them laughing.

“Big man in his big truck,” Trini shot back. “Why don’t you come down here and say it?”

The driver, Ty, narrowed his eyes. “I couldn’t stoop that low if I tried, Tiny Toon.”

Trini’s skin crawled. She hated that nickname. Her fingers itched to grab the knife from her boot, itched to fight, but Zack squeezed her arm gently. She exhaled. “Nice seein’ you,” she said. She started to walk again.

“You look like you could use some coffee,” the passenger said. Then he threw his paper cup of coffee at Trini and got her. The cup hit her shoulder and the hot coffee spilled down her front. Jason Scott laughed as the truck pulled away, and Trini looked up in time to see it pass. In time to see the girls in the window, and Kimberly Hart staring out at her, the soc’s smile faltering for half a second. Trini caught it. Her eyes narrowed and she was sure Kimberly saw her glare before the truck was gone down the road.

“Trini! Are you okay?” Billy asked, looking her over.

“Yeah,” she said, dryly. “ _ Awesome _ .”

“Here.” Zack took off his black flannel and gave it to her. 

She dropped her book bag and took off her bomber jacket, the one she wore year round despite the weather, and stripped her wet shirt off right there. She had a sports bra on and it was a mild Winter so she wasn’t concerned. She put on Zack’s shirt and buttoned it up then pushed up the sleeves.

“Thanks,” she said.

“It got your hair, too,” Billy said, reaching out to touch a lock of it.

She gave him a little smile. “It’ll dry, B. It’s okay.”

“I can’t wait for the day we go at them,” Zack muttered. He picked up Trini’s bag and held it out to her. She shouldered it and shook her head.

“We can’t. Ty’s dad is the principal and can make our lives hell...more than he already does,” she clarified.

Zack snorted. “If ol’ man Thompson had his way, no greaser would graduate.”

“Most don’t,” Billy said.

“Well, we will,” Trini reinforced. “If we go to class,” she directed that at Zack, “And pass our classes, keep our heads down...we’ll get our diplomas and go to a new town.”

“How far we gonna get with no money, T?” Zack asked.

“We got jobs.”

“And the little we do make goes right to our families,” he argued. 

“We can get  _ better _ jobs out there,” she said. “Send money home and find a place cheap. Out there they won’t care who we are.”

“And my mom said she’d take care of your mom,” Billy reminded Zack. “We can make more money and get her better medicine and better doctors.”

Zack sighed. “And all I gotta do is show up and pass?”

“For six more months,” Trini added and paused. “And stop gettin’ in fights.”

“Hey, I only defend myself,” Zack said with a charming smirk.

The three stopped in front of the school and stared up at it. Just getting through each day was hard as it was. Harder than any of them liked to admit.

“We got this,” Trini said, though her voice was soft. She really wasn’t as sure as she tried to sound to them. And she wondered, again, how she had become the leader.

* * *

_ “You’re not doin’ it right!” _

_ “I am! I’m following the rules!” _

_ “Well the rules are wrong. Give it to me, I’ll show you.” _

_ “No! It’s mine!” _

_ Trini rolled her eyes at the two boys fighting over a toy in her backyard. Boys were so dumb. She was glad she was a girl. She marched over to them and crossed her arms. “Zack, stop. Let Billy play with it.” _

_ “Why?!” Zack cried out, slamming his small fist into the patchy grass. _

_ “‘cause I said.” Trini glared at him with all of her seven year old might. _

_ “You have to listen to Trini,” Billy said. _

_ “No I don’t. She’s not my mom,” Zack said stubbornly. _

_ “She’s in charge!” _

_ “What? No, I’m not in charge,” Trini said, shaking her head. She plopped down beside them. “I’m just tired of hearin’ you two fight.” _

_ “But you punched Ty today,” Billy argued. “Remember? That’s when we decided to be friends.” _

_ “I didn’t decide nothin’,” Zack interrupted.  _

_ “Pretty sure you said ‘we’re gonna be The Three Muskateers’,” Trini said teasingly. _

_ Zack frowned. “...that doesn’t mean anythin’.” _

_ “It means you want to be our friend,” Billy informed him. _

_ “But why does it mean Trini’s the leader? I coulda punched Ty. I was gonna!” _

_ “No you weren’t,” Trini said. “You were gonna pee your pants.” _

_ “Was not!” Zack gasped.  _

_ Billy took the toy, now limp in Zack’s hands, and smiled triumphantly. “Were, too.” _

_ “Stop!” Trini called out. “I got in lotsa trouble for punchin’ Ty’s stupid face. I only did it so he’d leave you two idiots alone. I didn’t do it to be the leader.” _

_ “There’s no leader in The Three Muskateers anyways,” Zack said, leaning back on his hands and watching Billy play with the toy. _

_ “Right,” Trini agreed. “We can just be friends.” _

_ “All for one and one for all?” Billy asked, his eyes lit up. _

_ “Sure, B,” Trini said. _

_ “All for one and one for all!” Zack shouted, jumping to his feet, fist in the air. _

_ “All for one and one for all!” Billy repeated, doing the same. They both looked down at Trini and she shook her head. _

_ “Nope.” _

_ “Come ooon, Trini,” Billy whined. _

_ “Yeah, Trini, come on!”  _

_ Trini stared at them for a moment before rolling her eyes. She stood up. “All for one and one for all,” she said, half-heartedly, raising a fist. The three knocked their fists together and the boys cackled. Trini shook her head, smiling. She was glad she made friends finally. School was a lot worse than her parents warned her it would be, but she had a feeling she could get through it with Billy and Zack. _

* * *

Trini was headed to her locker after greaser lunch. Lunch was divided among the two classes and had been for decades. It was found to be better for everyone that way. She didn’t care. She got to eat with Billy and Zack and some of their other friends. Gia was at her side, talking, but Trini was only half listening. Gia was a good kid. A couple years younger than Trini. Gia was messed up like the rest of them and seemed to see Trini as a big sister of sorts. Trini found that to be a lot of pressure on herself, but she tried to fulfill it.

They turned around the corner in time to pass a group of socs.  _ The _ group of socs. The top tier. Trini heard them before she saw them. Loud, laughing. They sent shouts towards the greaser girls. Trini grabbed onto the cuff of Gia’s sleeve to keep her at her side.

“Ignore them,” she whispered. She sent them all a glare, and as they passed, Kimberly came into focus from the middle of the group. Trini flashed back to that morning, to seeing Kimberly in the back of the truck, and to the night before when Kimberly tried to insist she was nothing like her friends. Yet there she was, smiling and laughing along with them. Kimberly met Trini’s eyes for a moment, and for that moment Trini could almost see something in them, something screaming to break free, but it was gone just as fast when Kimberly looked away. Trini shook her head. They were all the same. Every single one of them. She tugged Gia along. 

“I hate them,” Gia muttered.

“Me, too,” Trini answered. She glanced back over her shoulder and spotted Kimberly looking back at her as her group went around the corner, and Kimberly’s stare sent shivers throughout her body. “Me, too.”

* * *

Trini wasn’t sure what possessed her to leave the campfire again, or head towards the waterfall again, but there she was clomping through the woods anyway. She stopped inside the small clearing and looked towards the tall cliff in time to see Kimberly take a perfect dive from it and sail down into the water. Trini’s head tilted as she watched. The other girl looked so graceful, agile, and Trini was sure she never could. She walked closer to the edge of the ravine and watched Kimberly swim ashore and start to climb out. With her arms folded tight across her chest, she called out to the girl.

“Aim for that big rock this time.”

Kimberly looked up and stared at Trini for a moment before pulling herself from the water. The water dripped all over her, down her body and her legs, and Trini tried not to stare. She was comfortable in her attraction to other girls, but she wasn’t comfortable being attracted to  _ that _ girl. It was something she couldn’t even fathom. Kimberly picked up her towel and made her way closer to Trini.

“You’d like that, huh?”

“Yeah, a lot,” Trini replied smugly.

Kimberly rolled her eyes and tucked her towel into itself over her body, and she stopped several paces in front of Trini. “Forever known as the greaser who watched the soc crack her head open and did nothing to help.”

“I’d be legend.”

“You’d be an asshole,” Kimberly said.

“At least you’d be out of my hair.”

“Well, I don’t remember forcing you to come over here.”

Trini bristled, her nose flaring. “I was takin’ a walk. Not my fault you’re in our territory again.”

“You love talking about ‘territory’,” Kimberly pressed. “What, are you going to pee on it next?”

“If it keeps ya away.”

“Maybe you like that I don’t stay away,” Kimberly said, with a little too much confidence in her tone. 

“Hard pass.”

“Are you sure?”

“You’re an asshole soc, yeah I’m pretty sure.”

Something flashed over Kimberly’s face. Something akin to regret. “Look, I’ve been wanting to say this for awhile...but I’m sorry. For what my friends did to you the other morning.”

“Oh-ho, princess,” Trini said shaking her head. “You were a part of that. You were with them. You were laughin’. You did it just as much as they did.”

Kimberly nodded. “You’re right. Either way, I’m sorry. I hate that kind of stuff. I just…” She stared off over Trini’s shoulder. “I have to-...I mean…”

“Look, you can save your sob story, I don’t care,” Trini’s words biting the air between them. “Ty and Jason are pieces of shit. Tommy ain’t much better.” In fact, Trini hated Tommy almost as much as Ty and Jason.

“They’re not-”

“Not so bad?” Trini cut in. “Please. They been makin’ our lives hell for years. All because, what? The four a’you won the genepool?”

“I’m just...trying to apologize,” Kimberly said, a hint of annoyance creeping into her voice.

“We don’t need your apology.”

“So you can speak for your friends, but I can’t speak for mine?”

“Why ya even friends with them if ya don’t like that crap?” Trini adjusted her stance, leaning her weight on one leg.

“Because...we go way back. Our parents were friends. It’s just...how it is.”

“You sound real happy ‘bout that.”

Kimberly rolled her eyes. “I mean...what are friends? People you hang out with, walk around school with...they pass the time.”

Trini shook her head. “Friends are your  _ family _ . They’re your ride-or-die. They hold you up when no one else can, and they break your fall when you got nowhere else to land. Friends are everything. At least, in my world.”

“One day you’ll realize we live in the same world.” Kimberly stared at Trini with her dark, hypnotic eyes, and Trini tried not to get sucked in.

“No, we don’t. Our worlds are miles apart.”

“You think....you automatically have it worse than us, just because you’re a greaser,” Kimberly said slowly. “You don’t get that-that…”

“That you have everything you could possibly want, except Mommy and Daddy’s love?”

“Oh, screw you, Trini.”

“At least you finally learned my name.”

“You know, you talk a big game about how cruel my friends and I are, but you’re no better than us. You want the divide just as much as anyone else around here. You look down your nose at me like I’m somehow less than you just because of where I come from. Does that sound familiar at all?” Kimberly took a step closer with each word until she was almost nose to nose with Trini.

“I’m  _ nothing _ like  _ your _ people,” Trini hissed out. 

“Then get to know me.”

“ _ What _ ?”

“Get to know me. Give me a chance. Show me you’re not like the people I’m surrounded by every moment of my life, who don’t care who you are as long as you’re one of them. Who don’t... _ try _ to really know who you are.” Kimberly brushed a lock of still wet hair behind her ear, and if possible, her eyes darkened. “I dare you.”

Trini swallowed. Her eyes darted between Kimberly’s. “Why?”

“Why?”

“Yeah...why do ya want me to get to know you? Why do ya care what I think?”

Kimberly looked away and thought for a moment. She spoke without looking back. “Because I’m stubborn, and reckless,” she met Trini’s eyes, “-and really want to prove you wrong and wipe that smirk off of your lips.”

_ That smirk _ emerged, and Trini raised an eyebrow. “Thinkin’ ‘bout my lips often, princess?” Trini wasn’t sure how she managed it. Her heart was pounding and her palms were sweaty. Something about that girl was terrifying her.

“Get to know me and find out.” Kimberly didn’t blink, didn’t smile, just spoke with deadfast confidence.

Trini waited a beat, considered it, then tossed her hair back over one shoulder. “Meet me here tomorrow night.” And she didn’t wait for a response as she turned and walked back into the woods. 

She felt herself shaking, and she had to wonder just what the hell she was getting herself into.


	2. but we don't feel like outsiders at all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not really feeling this chapter, but hopefully that's just me! Lots of set up in this chapter. Any other rangers that appear may not be completely in character, but this is an AU. Thanks to the TCC for support and UnicornAffair for some character help.
> 
> Chapter title from New Americana by Hasley.

Trini loved Saturdays. Saturdays meant no school -- unless she had detention which was often with her mouth -- and no school meant no socs. For socs, Trini was sure Saturdays meant sleeping in, doing nothing, and going to parties; but not Trini. She had responsibilities. 

She woke up at the campsite and did her yoga then checked on the sleeping boys before heading home. She liked her early morning walk home. It was quiet, and it gave her time to think. A little bit of peace before everything her day entailed.

Trini’s parents always slept in on Saturdays, and she was fine with it. She got to spend time with her brothers and have breakfast with them, and best of all not see her parents. She and her brothers weren’t like a lot of siblings who fought and didn’t get along. She adored those boys. Of course, they did get on her nerves at times, and they did argue, but probably because of the age difference, they had a good relationship.

She let herself into the house quietly and crept into the living room. Both boys were sprawled on their stomachs in front of the old box TV watching one of their four free channels. It seemed to be the public education channel, and even though some of those shows were a bit young for them, they watched them. Beggars can’t be choosers in greaser houses. Xander spotted her first, and he jumped up and ran at her, jumping up into her arms. He was the smaller of the twins, and easier to hold. She laughed and held him close.

“Hey, bud. Hungry?”

“I am,” Javier said, without looking up from the TV.

“No hi?” She asked, brow raised.

He tilted his head, chin held in his hands, and gave her a dashing smile, the one he got from their Papí. “Hi Trini. I’m hungry.”

“Okay.” She bounced her little brother a little in her arms. “I’ll go make breakfast, okay?” She kissed the side of his head and put him down. She headed into the kitchen and opened the fridge. There wasn’t much in it, as usual, but there were some eggs, milk, and a small portion of sliced ham. She smelled the milk before deciding it was safe, and took the other ingredients out. As she pulled out two pans and a mixing bowl the boys wandered in.

“Can we have orange juice?” Xander asked.

“Yeah, but you know the rule,” she told him.

Both boys groaned, but Javier got the juice from the fridge while Xander got two cups. They poured their cups half full then went to the sink and filled them the rest of the way with water. Then they sat at the small dining table and sipped at their drinks.

“Trini, can we come to the campfire sometime?” Xander asked.

Trini didn’t look up from where she was mixing the eggs with some milk. “I don’t know. Maybe when you’re a little older. I don’t think Mamí will let you.”

“ _ Told _ you,” Javier hissed.

Trini smirked and poured the eggs into the heated pan. “So, how’s school going?”

“I hate it,” Xander grumbled.

“It’s okay,” Javier said at the same time.

“Why do you hate it?” Trini asked, looking over her shoulder.

“Because the socs are dicks,” Javier said.

“Language,” Trini said.

“Well they are,” he said.

“I know. They all are. You just gotta ignore them.”

“ _ How _ ?” Javier asked. “They pick on us all the time. They try to push Xander around.”

“You guys remember what I taught you?” She let go of the spatula to hold up her fists.

“But if we fight them we’ll get into trouble,” Xander said. “They won’t.”

Trini sighed. She knew all too well the injustices in their world. “I wish I could make it better,” she told them. “But you guys know how it is out there. You just gotta get through it.” It pained her to tell them those words. She wanted it to be easier on them than it had ever been for her, but she knew better than that. She knew Xander, especially, had it hard what with being small for his age. “You want me to come around and rough those kids up?” She asked teasingly, but half serious.

“No!” They both cried at the same time. She laughed.

“We’d never hear the end of it,” Javier told her.

Trini started to fry the ham. “I’ll bring Zack and Billy. We could easily take those pipsqueak socs.”

“ _ Trini _ ,” Xander whined.

“Okay, okay,” she gave in, shaking her head. She finished cooking and dished out two plates of food and set them in front of the boys.

“Aren’t you gonna eat with us?” Xander asked, blinking wide brown eyes up at her.

“Nah, I’m not hungry,” she lied. Her stomach was growling at the smell, but there was only enough for her brothers, and she didn’t mind letting them have it. They were growing boys after all. “But I’ll sit with you.” She pulled out a chair and sat down, pulling her knee up and setting her foot on the seat.

The boys dug in and were quiet for awhile as they ate, and Trini watched them and thought. She thought about the kids that gave her brothers trouble, she thought about the kids that gave her trouble, and not for the first time she wished she lived in some other universe. One where there were no socs or greasers. One where she could just be. Survive. Maybe be a superhero, that looked like fun.

“Trini, do you  _ have _ to go to work today?” Xander asked through a mouth full of eggs. “I want you to stay and play with us.”

“Yeah!” Javier added. “We’re gonna go into the woods and work on our fort!”

“Aw, guys, I’d love to play with you, but I gotta work.”

“Tell Tío Vic you’re sick,” Javier suggested.

“And when he asks Mamí about it?” She asked. The boys frowned. “Uh huh.” She reached over and picked up a small crumb of ham from Xander’s plate and popped it into her mouth. “Okay, I gotta change.” She got up and kissed both of them on the tops of their heads before heading to the back of the house where her room was. She quickly changed into a different pair of ratty, holey jeans and a white tee shirt covered in grease stains. She pocketed her wallet and flip phone and slid her trusty yellow and silver switchblade into her boot. Then she walked back into the kitchen. The boys were at the sink washing their dishes, and she smiled. They were good kids. “Okay, I’m goin’ to work,” she told them. “Be quiet and be good until they get up.”

“We will,” Xander replied.

“And no going outside until they’re up, got it?”

“We got it,” Javier said, and she was sure he had rolled his eyes.

She hovered for a moment, not quite wanting to leave, but then went for the front door and locked it on her way out. She set off down the road towards work. Her uncle owned a small garage in the middle of the southside. He did a decent amount of business, and most greaser families took their old, beat up cars to him. Trini had been working there since she was twelve. Tío Vic paid her cash under the table. At the start she would answer phones and greet customers, and she still did, but as she got older Tío Vic started to teach her things. Started with oil changes, swapping spark plugs, and simple things like that. Then came more days with her under the hood, or under the car with him, and him explaining all the parts and how they work together. Trini learned a lot over the years. Now, seventeen years old, Vic would let her do things on her own here and there. Nothing big. And not when customers could see her. Despite most people loving Vic, they may not love his niece working on their cars. Trini still sat at the front desk and answered phones, scheduled appointments, but her favorite thing was getting down and dirty with the cars.

She walked in the front door after unlocking it, the bell chiming, and she went right to the front desk where she sat down and pulled the old answering machine close to herself. She went through all the messages and wrote down the information and who to call back before looking over the day’s appointment book. It was easy for her to memorize who was coming in for what with just one read through. She hopped up and went to the coffee maker and started making coffee for the guys. They all liked a hot cup as soon as they walked in the door; many unable to have coffee in their own homes. 

Vic was the first one in, as always, and he walked around the desk where Trini had reclaimed her seat, and he kissed the top of her head. “Mornin’,  _ Chapparrita _ .”

Trini smiled and leaned into him. “Mornin’, Tío.” She never minded when her uncle made jokes about her height, but anyone else? They’d be dead.

“We got a big day?” He asked, as always.

“The biggest,” she replied, her usual answer. 

He squeezed her shoulder before letting go and walking over to the coffee maker to pour himself a cup. He poured her one as well and brought it over. “What would I do without you?”

“Lose your mind,” she told him. He smirked and placed the coffee in front of her. “Your first appointment is an alignment, and they’ll be here any minute.”

“Hey ‘o!” A big, burly man walked in the door with his lunchbox and grinned at them.

“Charlie, you got too much sunshine goin’ on there. Tone it down,” Trini told the man.

“Someone’s gotta make up for you,” Charlie answered as he went straight for the coffee pot.

She made a face behind his back. Her uncle popped her upside the back of her head and she smiled. 

Trini really loved her Tío Vic. He was her mom’s baby brother, and he had been around her entire life. Every milestone. June’s oldest brother, Sal, had left Angel Grove not long after Trini was born. He wrote, called when he could, and even came to visit on the rare occasion, but he wasn’t really a part of Trini’s life. Not like Vic. Vic was a second father to her. One that actually seemed to like her as she was. Vic was also the first adult, the only adult, she had come out to.

She had been terrified, worried he’d tell her parents, but she wanted him to know. She had wanted to share it with him, because of how close they were. And he had taken it really well. Told her he wasn’t surprised before dropping it. And after that, he never treated her any differently. He also never told his sister. Oh, Trini was sure her mom knew, but Trini had never actually said the words to her, and her mom had never brought it up. She just treated Trini like the dirt beneath her nails. She always wanted to know everything about Trini; what she was up to, how her grades were, who her friends were. Trini was honestly surprised for a long time that her mom  _ didn’t _ bring up the gay thing. But Trini could see it in June’s eyes. Behind the questions, behind whatever anger she had for Trini, she could see the knowledge of truth in her gaze. Trini was sure that was why her mother had only gotten worse with her over the years. It seemed every conversation was an interrogation. Every other word an accusation or command. 

Trini missed her  _ Mamí _ . The woman who read her stories before bed, sang to her, kissed her chubby cheeks. The woman that Trini had not seen since nearing puberty. June was still that Mamí to her brothers, but not to Trini. Not anymore.

And really, Trini was okay with that. She had her own life to live. She had her best friends. She had her other family. She was just fine.

Just fine.

* * *

“Tío, I’mma go now.” Trini leaned against the doorway that led to one of the two bays of the shop, where her uncle was buried in the hood of a car.

“Okay,” he called out to her. “Be safe.”

“I got myself,” she replied. She pushed off the frame and walked back through the front of the shop, making sure everything was set for Monday morning when her older cousin, Alena, would be in. Then she walked outside and shoved her hands into the pockets of her bomber jacket. She looked up at the darkening sky and breathed in deeply. The air smelled...well, it smelled like the southside. Oily, dusty, and a good whiff from the trash center that was located on their side of town. She sighed and started to walk towards Billy’s house. She spent more time there, it seemed, than at her own house. She liked it that way. When she got there she knocked on the door and waited. Candace soon opened it and smiled at her.

“Trini, honey, you know you can walk in. You don’t have to knock.”

“It’s polite,” she responded.

“Well, come in. Billy’s in the basement. I’m off to work.”

“Have a good shift,” Trini said, giving her a wave before walking down to the basement.

The basement was Billy’s domain, and it looked like it. Everything was scattered about, but Billy always said he knew exactly where things were. Trini doubted it. She spotted her friend sitting at a table with something in front of him with wires. She shook her head and sat across from him.

“Is that a bomb?”

“Just a little one,” he said, without looking up. “I wanted to test something.”

“B, remember when you blew up your lunch box and got detention for three months?”

“Yes,” he said.

“Okay. Let’s not repeat that.”

“Oh, I won’t be taking this to school. I’m taking it to the mines. It’s a much faster way to dig for treasures.”

Trini wanted to object, but she knew her friend. He was set on it. “A’ight, but be careful?”

“I will,” he promised.

Trini heard some noise upstairs. Two people talking. Then footsteps down the stairs. Zack appeared with his big, goofy smile. “What’s cookin’?”

“Whatever Billy blows up,” Trini said dryly.

“I hear there’s a party at Ty’s tonight,” Zack said, leaning against the table with his forearms. “Let’s blow that up.”

Billy looked up, eyes lit up in excitement. “Can w-”

“No,” Trini answered, quickly and firmly. “No blowing up socs. They’ll know it was us.”

“Looks like we found the pooper of the party,” Zack said. Trini flipped him off. He grinned.

“How long you wanna work on that?” She asked Billy. “We got our own party to hit up.”

“Just a little longer,” he answered. And she knew that meant it would be a couple of hours. She got up and walked over to the couch set up down there and she lay across it. 

“I’m gonna take a nap. Wake me when you wanna go,” she said. She opened one eye. “No letting Zack help you.”

“Aw, man!” Zack cried.

Trini awoke later to movement around the basement. She opened her eyes and yawned, and saw Billy and Zack moving around. Trini realized suddenly that she was starving. She hadn’t eaten all day, which wasn’t out of the ordinary for her. She sat up. “Let’s go so I can eat.”

“We were waitin’ on your lazy ass,” Zack said.

“My lazy ass has been waitin’ on y’all,” she replied. She got to her feet and pulled on her jacket. 

The three made their way outside, and Trini immediately lit a cigarette, Zack following suite, and Trini and the boys walked a few blocks over to Rocky’s house; a small one story with peeling paint and a messed up roof. The front door was open and music was spilling out into the yard. Zack took off and ran inside while Billy and Trini followed at their own pace. Billy only liked parties in small doses, and usually the music wasn’t too loud to suit his needs. Everyone was really respectful of Billy and his differences. Well, everyone that was a greaser. 

When they got inside they found a group of happy greasers in the main living room, drinking and talking. Immediately, the music lowered. Trini glanced at Adam, by the speakers, and smiled appreciatively at him. He gave her a nod and sipped his beer. Adam was a good guy. Soft spoken, but always there when needed.

“Trini! Billy!” Rocky called out as he came from the kitchen. He walked over and slung an arm around Trini’s shoulders. “Glad you could finally make it,” he teased.

“Oh. Were we supposed to be here sooner?” Billy asked, suddenly concerned.

“Nah,” Rocky said. “Just joking around. You’re good, B.”

“Oh, okay,” Billy nodded. He spotted one of his friends and wandered off to talk to him. Trini looked up at Rocky.

“You drunk yet?” She asked.

“Almost,” he answered with a grin. “You gonna catch up?”

“Yeah, I’ll have one.”

“Just one?”

“I said what I said,” she defended. He held up his hands. She pushed away from him and wandered into the kitchen to peruse her options. Beers, some hard stuff, some wine coolers. She passed those by and grabbed a bottle of tequila. Usually, everyone pitched in for the alcohol, and some of it was acquired in not so legal ways. She didn’t care. She poured some in a cup and followed it with some Sprite. She dug her hand into a bag of chips.

“Hey, T.” 

Trini looked up, chips filling her mouth, and smiled at the boy that walked into the kitchen. “Yo, Dillon,” she replied, once she’d chewed them up enough. They did a handshake and he grabbed a beer. “Haven’t seen you in awhile.”

“Yeah.” He lifted a shoulder. “Cops gave me a few nights away. Thought I was harrassin’ some socs.”

She raised a brow. “And were you?”

With a smirk he brought his bottle to his lips. “I didn’t start it.” And he drank. Trini laughed and shook her head.

“Glad you’re back, bro,” she said. She drank from her cup and felt the warmth fill her. She was glad to see Dillon. He was her age, but she still felt some need to protect him from the moment they met. He was quiet and angry. He had a right to be. Life had been harder on him than most. 

“Billy here?” Dillon asked.

“Yeah, he’s around somewhere.”

“Cool.” He tapped his bottle to her cup and exited the kitchen without another word. 

Leaning back against the counter, Trini took another sip of her drink. 

There was a niggling in the back of her head. One that reminded her she was supposed to meet Kimberly Hart. No, she hadn’t forgotten. She’d thought about it several times throughout the day. Wondered if she should even bother going. That’s what that pretentious soc deserved. To be stood up. Trini really hated Kimberly Hart. No, she wasn’t as bad as her friends, but she’d done her share of bullying Trini and her friends, and Trini hadn’t forgotten about it. She never forgot. She was still convinced Kimberly and her shadow, Amanda, had been the ones to paint slurs across her locker more than once. Trini tried to pretend like it didn’t bother her at the time, but it did. Every time. She hated seeing those words. She wasn’t sure how it got around school that she was a lesbian, but it had, and the other kids hadn’t been friendly. She gripped her bottle harder just thinking about it. The harassment she got when it broke was so bad that it ended her relationship with Emilia. And Trini had really liked her. Well, enough. She wasn’t sure she could ever really open herself up to anyone but the boys. Not in that way.

“Figured you’d be somewhere broodin’,” a voice said. Trini looked up to see Z Delgado in front of her with a smirk on her lips. Trini’s head tilted.

“You’re a regular Einstein,” she replied. “And I’m not broodin’.”

“Uh huh.” Z leaned against the counter beside Trini and took Trini’s cup to take a large gulp of it. Trini frowned and took her cup back.

“I wasn’t.”

“So why ain’t you out there with everyone else?”

Trini didn’t have a good answer. She couldn’t say she was thinking about Kimberly Hart. If anyone hated the soc more than Trini, it was Z. Z was a lot like Trini. So much so that their friends called them ‘the twins’. It was almost comical. They got along really well, though. If there was anyone she trusted nearly as much as the boys, it was Z. They had a mutual understanding of each other. They also had a mutual attraction for girls. Some time a year before they started using one another when they were lonely, or had an itch to scratch. Well, ‘using’ seemed like the wrong word to Trini, but it was along those lines. It was good, because neither of them were about to grow feelings for the other, and they both got what they needed.

In fact, a distraction could be exactly what Trini needed just then. She turned and placed a hand on either side of the counter in front of Z. Z raised her brow.

“Hey,” Z said.

“Hey,” Trini repeated, a smirk on her lips.

“Are we that drunk already?”

“No...but I can pretend to be.”

“Damn,” Z shook her head. “You really want it, huh?”

“Mmm,” Trini leaned in and kissed Z slowly.

Z kissed her back, then pulled away and looked at her. “Wanna go find a room?”

“Yeah,” Trini replied. She stepped away and Z poured her own drink, then the two slipped past all of their friends and headed down the hall for an empty room.

* * *

Trini got off of the bed and started to pull her clothes on. Z lay on her back, her eyes closed, and she sighed.

“Thanks,” Trini said.

“Anytime.”

“You good?”

“Yeah, you?”

“I’m good,” Trini nodded. She finished getting dressed and stood there a moment. “You gonna come back to the party?”

“In a minute. Wanna enjoy this.”

“Okay. Catch you later?”

“Yeah. Later, T.”

Trini nodded again and left the room. She walked down the hall and into the living room. The party was still going. No one noticed her. She glanced at the door, considered, and went into the kitchen. She grabbed the first half-full bottle she saw and slipped out the back door. With a deep breath she started walking towards the mines.

She wasn’t sure what she was doing -- okay, that was a lie. She knew where she was going. She just didn’t know  _ why _ . She took a swig from the bottle and made a face. Vodka. She hated vodka. But it was something. Something to propel her forward. She made it to their campsite, empty and dark, and paused. Did she really want to go? Give Kimberly Hart a chance to prove she was human? She scoffed at the idea. But for some reason, her feet started to move and she was walking through the woods. She cussed to herself softly, told herself to turn around and walk away, but she kept going. She broke into the clearing and saw a figure sitting on the edge of the cliff, one hand leaned back on the ground behind it, face towards the waterfall. Trini stopped for a moment and stared. Kimberly Hart had a nice profile. She could admit as much.

Who was she kidding? Kimberly Hart was gorgeous. But hideous inside. And that mattered more to Trini than anything on the outside. She huffed to herself and walked over. She stopped just behind Kimberly and stared at the waterfall, too.

“Made me wait long enough,” Kimberly said without looking back.

“Didn’t have to come at all,” Trini replied.

“So why did you?” That time, Kimberly looked up and over her shoulder. Trini met her eyes for a moment before looking away.

“I don’t know.”

“Okay.”

They stayed quiet for awhile. Both staring at the waterfall before them and thinking to themselves. At least, Trini thought Kimberly might have been thinking. Maybe she was capable of that. With a smirk at the thought, Trini sat down several feet from Kimberly. Trini’s knees were up, her arms draped over them. Trini brought the bottle to her lips again and drank. She was bordering on tipsy, and she was glad. She needed it. She set the bottle to her side, fingers still wrapped around the neck, and after a moment she felt it being tugged from her grip. Kimberly took it and drank from it.

“Damn, Hart, goody-two-shoes like you?”

Kimberly gave her a smirk. “You don’t know me,” she reminded Trini.

Trini nodded and took a pull from the bottle. “Sure you wanna share germs with a lowly greaser?”

“Do I look worried?” Kimberly took the bottle back and drank from it again as if to prove her point.

Trini just shook her head. She tapped her fingers on her boots a bit, a feeling of nervous energy running through her, and finally she gave up. She pulled a beat up Altoids tin from her jacket pocket and opened it up. She started to roll a joint. She was aware of Kimberly’s eyes on her. She licked the paper to seal it and took out her lighter. She didn’t care enough to ask Kimberly if she minded. She just lit it up and took a long drag. When she let it out she glanced over at the girl beside her.

“You ever get high?”

“No,” Kimberly replied. It may have been the moonlight casting shadows on Kimberly’s face, but Trini could have sworn she was blushing.

“Ahh, so not an activity your people get into?”

“Some of the guys do,” Kimberly said. “I just...never have.”

Trini was quiet for a moment before holding it out to her. “Go ahead.” Staring at the joint for a moment, Kimberly bit her lip. Then she reached for it and brought it to her lips. “Inhale,” Trini said. “Then hold it in until you can’t anymore and let it out.” Kimberly did as instructed, and coughed as she exhaled. Trini raised a brow. “You good?”

“Y-yeah, I’m good,” Kimberly said with a nod. She handed it back to Trini, coughing again.

“Lookit that, I’m corrupting you already.”

“I don’t mind,” Kimberly replied.

Trini took another hit. As she exhaled she asked, “So why you here?”

“I told you. You should get to know me.”

“But why?”

Kimberly looked forward at the waterfall again, and she was quiet for a long time. When she spoke, her voice was quiet. “Maybe I’m sick of it all,” she said. “I’m tired.”

“So take a nap. Why try to chill with me?”

“Because I’ve been mean to you in the past, and I regret it.”

“Whoa,” Trini gasped. “A soc knows regret?”

“Fuck you,” Kimberly said, reaching out to take the joint back.

“And the mouth of a sailor.”

“You have a lot to learn about my mouth,” Kimberly said, taking the smoke in.

“Oh do I?” Trini asked, innuendo strong in her voice and a smirk on her lips. Kimberly coughed the smoke out again, that time in surprise.

“Shut up.”

Trini took the joint back. “Seriously though. Why? Why’d you talk to me that night?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I was afraid you’d shank me or something.”

Laughing, Trini shook her head. “We don’t  _ shank _ . That’s a prison thing.”

“Have you ever been to prison?” Kimberly looked over at her, honesty on her face.

“What? Cuz I’m a greaser?”

“It’s...a valid question,” Kimberly defended.

“It’s a judgement.”

“I’m just...I’m trying.”

“Why?” Trini pressed again.

“Because I’m intrigued!” 

Trini paused, stared at the girl. “Intrigued? By me?”

There was color in Kimberly’s cheeks as she looked away. “I...I guess I am.”

“Okay.” Trini relit the joint and took an inhale. She was feeling pretty good between the vodka and pot. They were both quiet for a long time. Kimberly stole the bottle and kept it in her hands, taking the occasional sip.

“So...where were you tonight?”

“At a party,” Trini replied. She leaned back on both hands.

“I see.”

“You mad I wasn’t here?”

“Well, when you agree to meet with someone, you shouldn’t be late.”

“Never actually agreed, princess,” Trini replied. “You just assumed I’d come when you said so.”

“You didn’t not agree.”

“I’m here, ain’t I?”

“Why are  _ you _ here?” Kimberly looked at Trini, and her brown eyes bore into the greaser. Trini was honestly a little intimidated by it. Not that she’d admit it.

“Curiosity.”

“About me?”

“You...this...all of it.” Trini shrugged. She was staring out at the water again. She wasn’t good at talking. Riling people up, bullshitting around; she could do. Talking? Not as much. It was one of the things her parents hated about her. One of the many. The thought made her brows furrow.

“What?” Kimberly asked, and Trini could still feel those dark eyes on her.

“Nothin’.”

“You can ask me anything, you know.”

Trini nodded and thought. What did she want to know? Why Kimberly was such a drone? Why her people hated Trini so much? How Kimberly’s voice managed to creep down Trini’s spine and make the hair on her arms stand tall? No. Not that. “You say you’re different than them…” she said slowly. “What do you mean?”

Kimberly hummed. She was quiet for a bit. “I don’t think you or your people are inherently bad or lesser than me.”

“Really?” Trini asked, not believing her. 

“Really. Growing up...I didn’t get it. I would ask my parents why. Why there was such a separation, why there was so much hate. I wanted to understand it, not just go along with it.”

“What’d they say?”

“That it’s how the world worked and that…” She paused. She took a sip from the bottle. “That greasers are no good criminals who are a scourge on the community, and who want to hurt us just because of who we are.”

Trini snorted. “Funny. I always thought it was the other way ‘round.”

“I don’t hate you for who you are,” Kimberly said quickly. “I don’t know you. How can I hate you?”

“But you’re still bias,” Trini said.

“How?”

“We’re all born with it, raised with it,” Trini replied. “It’s deep inside of us. You take one look at me and say you don’t think…’oh maybe she’ll hurt me if I say the wrong thing or move the wrong way’ or ‘she’ll never amount to anything ‘cuz she’s just a greaser’.”

“I don’t-I don’t think that,” Kimberly said, though her voice sounded unsure.

“You wrote horrible things on my locker. More than once,” Trini pointed out, venom showing in her voice.

“That was-”

“Don’t tell me it was peer pressure. You did it. You’ve laughed at me, called me names, and your friends have made my life hell. You never stopped them.”

“Like  _ your _ friends have never called  _ me _ names?”

“Oh please.”

“The greasers are just as mean as us,” Kimberly pointed out. “Only dangerous.”

“See?” Trini turned to look at her. “Bias.”

“It’s not bias! It’s-it’s-”

“What if I told you I have a knife in my boot right now?” Trini asked. She reached for it and Kimberly flinched and moved a few inches away. Trini’s hand pulled back. “You’re not different.”

“Well...neither are you! You have a judgement against me, too.”

“Probably,” Trini agreed. “And it’s probably right.”

“You’re so..cocky,” Kimberly huffed.

Trini smirked. “It’s one of my more lovable traits.”

“Well, I hate cocky.”

“And I hate stuck up bitches, but here we are.”

Kimberly got to her feet. “This was a mistake. I thought...I thought…”

“Whatever you thought in that tiny brain of yours was wrong, princess. You’re not different, I’m not different, we’re just like the rest of them. Oil and water.”

"At least I tried."

"Well, ain't you a saint," Trini grumbled.

Kimberly stared down at Trini for a moment before stomping away. “Greaser,” she shouted over her shoulder.

“Tell me somthin’ new,” Trini shouted back. Then she leaned back on her hands again and took a deep breath. She let it out, the silence returning from the lack of branches cracking under Kimberly’s feet as she fled, and Trini cracked her neck with a grimace. It was a mistake. She never should have come to meet a  _ soc _ of all people. They couldn’t change. They couldn’t think for themselves. Kimberly Hart would never be someone that Trini could get to know, and she didn’t  _ want _ to get to know her. 

She closed her eyes and thought about how Kimberly’s voice got to her, thought about Kimberly’s dark eyes -- full of emotion and life -- and she thought about how gorgeous Kimberly Hart was. 

Maybe in another universe. Another time. 

She pushed the thoughts away and lay back in the dirt. She stared up at the stars and the moon. She had a real world to get back to. 

In a minute.


	3. a kiss with a fist is better than none

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somehow I managed to write exactly 5000 words for this chapter. Wow.
> 
> Warning for violence in this chapter.
> 
> Chapter title from Kiss With A Fist by Florence + the Machine.
> 
> Please comment and let me know what you think! Would love to hear what you like!

_"my black eye casts no shadow_  
_ your red eye sees nothing_  
_ your slap don't stick_  
_ your kicks don't hit_  
_ so we remain the same_"

* * *

It had been a few days, and Trini honestly hadn’t given Kimberly Hart much more thought. She knew there was no point to. Getting stuck in the ‘why nots’ of the world was something she didn’t have the energy for. So she moved along.

She was walking from her first period class to her second with her head down, as usual. She didn’t have her headphones on because she was tired of having them confiscated. Sure, any soc could walk the halls with their Beats on and not have them taken, but her in her old Sony’s? A whole other matter. She didn’t usually see any of her friends in those brief minutes between Biology and History so she wasn’t looking for any of them. Then words started to trickle back to her from somewhere in front of herself.

“Did you guys _ see _ Billy Cranston this morning?” A deep voice asked. Trini’s ears perked, tickled, and she let her eyes rise without pulling up her head. Her hair was in her face a little, but she didn’t need clear vision to know who the four backs belonged to that were ahead of her. Not with the sea that parted before them. 

“Why do nerds carry so many books when they’re just gonna get knocked down?” They all laughed.

“Didn’t even know retards could read,” snorted one, and Trini seethed. She was too angry suddenly to notice who _ wasn’t _ talking, and who tried to stop them with a-

“Guys-”

Trini didn’t hear it. She didn’t hear it, because in no time flat she had bent to grab the knife from her boot, leaped across the space between them, and grabbed a fist full of Tommy’s hair. Tommy shrieked. “You’d know all about what retards can and can’t do with that ape boyfriend of yours,” she hissed in Tommy’s ear. And Trini wanted nothing more than to stab her knife into Tommy’s back, but she didn’t. 

“Trini, don’t!” Trini could barely hear Kimbery’s shout.

“Uhh...I think her name’s, DeeDee,” Ty monotoned. 

“Get off, crazy bitch!” Tommy shouted, trying to wriggle away.

Trini spun the knife in her hand and pulled Tommy’s hair harder before slicing it across the long, black locks. She sawed through until she came up with a handful of Tommy’s hair, and then she let her go. Tommy spun around, mouth agape, and shot a death glare at Trini.

“You bitch!”

Trini smirked and waved the handful of hair in the air. “A bitch who got your hair.” Tommy lunged at her, but Jason stepped in front of Tommy and put an arm across her waist.

“Don’t. Not here.”

“Nah, don’t is better,” Trini said. “You won’t wanna see what I can do to that pretty face of yours.” 

Kids around them were chanting, “Fight! Fight! Fight!” And the bell rang.

“We need to go,” Kimberly said, waving a hand at her friends but keeping her eyes on Trini.

Trini raised a brow at her, smirk still on her lips, hair still in her hand. “Wouldn’t wanna be late.”

“You’re going to pay for this,” Tommy hissed, before letting Jason drag her away. Ty hurried after them. Kimberly stood in the emptying hallway and just stared at Trini.

“Did...you have to do that?”

“Kim! Come on!” Ty shouted over his shoulder.

“Better go,” she told Kimberly. “Your lapdog’s callin’.”

Kimberly stared at her a moment longer before turning and jogging after her friends. Trini smiled at herself, proud of what she’d done, and she glanced at the handful of soc hair she held. “Ew,” she shuddered, dropping it.

“Ms. Rodriguez.”

She looked up and saw Mr. Reynolds, the Vice Principal, staring at her from behind his thick rimmed glasses. He did not look amused.

* * *

Trini knew her friends would have heard about what she had done come lunch time, but she wasn’t in the mood to rehash it. Or the words that led to it. She was sure of the way Billy’s face would fall at hearing himself called that word, and she wouldn’t enjoy saying it either. So instead of going to the cafeteria for lunch she went to the one place she often did when she needed lunch alone. The fancy bleachers on the new football field; the one the school had gotten a year before when faced with a decision between that and free lunches for greaser kids. Trini wasn’t surprised.

She liked to go halfway down the back then dip underneath them where she was sure not to be seen. She had a ratty old blanket that she kept out there to roll out and sit on and everything. She had just settled in, and brought a cigarette and lighter to her lips, when a gust of air brought a figure upon her.

“What were you _ thinking _?” Kimberly stood above her, hands on her hips.

“Uhh...that I had to defend my boy,” she answered, looking down at her nearly lit cigarette. She went to light it again but Kimberly fell to her knees and grabbed hold of Trini’s wrist to twist it away from her mouth.

“You could have really hurt her! Or gotten yourself hurt!”

“Oh, like I’m scared of Tommy ‘I even _ spell _ my name like a boy’ Oliver. Right.” She rolled her eyes.

“Tommy’s, like, a black belt.”

“And I’m supposed to be scared of her?”

“Yeah,” Kimberly huffed out, incredulity in her tone. “Yeah, a little. And don’t smoke, it’s disgusting.”

Trini’s lips went into a thin smile and she gritted her teeth together. “Don’t remember askin’ you to join me.” She wrestled her wrist from Kimberly’s, surprisingly, strong grip. She rolled her eyes and let her hand fall to her side. “Didn’t know you were so worried about me all’a sudden.” She met Kimberly’s eyes and saw them widen slightly. 

“I-I’m not.”

“Uh huh.”

“I am not worried about you,” Kimberly repeated, and she sat back on her feet, her pale pink and white skirt covering her knees. “Clearly, you can handle yourself with your school-prohibited weapon.”

“Yeah...I’m really gonna miss her,” Trini said, wistfully.

“Her?”

“My knife. Bella. Reynolds confiscated her. I said he couldn’t expect lil’ ol’ me to go to school with socs and not have a way to defend myself, but he didn’t buy it. Know what somethin’ like that sets a girl back? A lot.”

“Wait, wait...you named your...knife?” Kimberly shook her head slowly, like she was trying to comprehend.

“Sure. She’s seen me through a lot.”

“Bella? Like..._ Twilight _?”

Trini snorted. “No. Like Belladonna. It’s a-”

“Plant. I know.”

“But you’re surprised I know it,” Trini guessed.

Kimberly’s cheeks flushed. “A-a little.” 

“Deadly plant...deadly weapon. Do you know what it means in Itallian?”

“I...did,” Kimberly nodded. “I forgot.”

“It’ll come to you. Now. If you don’t wanna watch me smoke, you should go.” Trini brought her cigarette up again.

“It’s...fine,” Kimberly said. She shifted to sit more comfortably.

Trini lit it and inhaled before letting it out. “Wait. Shouldn’t you be in class?”

“Study hall.”

“Right.” Trini smoked but kept her eyes on Kimberly. Kimberly didn’t look away. “Look like you wanna say somethin’.”

“Do you get...angry like that a lot?”

“I have a lot to be angry about.”

“Yeah...I guess you do.”

“My turn. How can you stand them? Your friends, your boyfriend...all of them?”

Kimberly’s lips raised sadly. “Believe it or not, Ty used to be really charming. I thought…” Her head shook and she half-laughed. “I thought he could change the rest.”

“The rest bein’...how he treats us?”

“Yeah. And then...it was easier. Easier than not having someone.”

“Bein’ alone is pretty easy on me,” Trini shrugged.

“It’s different in the soc world.”

“I thought we were all livin’ in the same world?”

“Touche,” Kimberly nodded, smiling softly. It made Trini smile, and Kim’s widened. “I don’t think I’ve seen that before.”

“Don’t get used to it, princess.”

“Why do you smoke? It really is repulsive.”

“Started out to rebel...became a comfort, I guess.”

“I can understand that.”

“Can you?” Trini met her eyes again, but Kimberly looked down. “Why’d you follow me out here?”

“To yell at you.”

“Nah. Why?”

“Because I wanted to see you.”

“Really?” Trini asked. She didn’t have to ask it though. She could see the truth in the gaze Kimberly sent her. It made her shiver.

“Why can’t we just try to be friends, Trini?”

“You mean, so together we can make the world see that we’re not that different after all?”

“Something like that.”

“Ahh,” Trini shook her head and put her cigarette out on the heel of her boot. “It’s gonna disappoint you, Kimberly.”

“Kim.”

“What?”

“My friends call me Kim.”

“We ain’t gonna be friends.”

“Yes, we are.”

“Jesus, princess…”

“You already have a cute nickname for me.”

“It was meant to offend you.”

“But I think it’s cute. And you’re cute trying to pretend like we’re not already becoming friends,” Kimberly said.

“Oh, I’m cute?” Trini asked, flirtatiously.

“Yeah...you are.”

Trini gulped. She had expected to fluster Kim with that one. Not feel butterflies herself. “So, what about you? Why’d you cut all your hair off?” She changed the subject completely, as if that would hide her red cheeks.

“I, uh, it was time for a change.”

“Somethin’ prompt that change?”

“That is a story for when we’re friends,” Kim nodded.

“You’re just sayin’ that cause you know I’m nosy and wanna know.”

“Is it working?” Kim grinned.

“Yeah, alright, a little bit, princess.” Trini shook her head. Her stomach growled, and it must have been enough for Kim to hear because the girl looked startled.

“Where’s your lunch?”

“Don’t eat lunch.”

“That can’t be healthy. Here.” Kimberly swung her backpack around and pulled out a brown paper lunch bag. She took a sandwich out of its little baggy and handed half to Trini.

“No, really, I-” But the food was shoved into Trini’s hands. “I’m not a charity case,” she said, trying to sound offended.

“Didn’t say you were,” Kimberly shrugged. “But I have food and you’re clearly hungry, so eat.

Trini brought the sandwich up to inspect and saw that it was ham and cheese. She gave it a sniff. “A’ight...but if this is you poisoning me, I’m gonna regret ever speaking to you.”

“If this were me poisoning you, I’d wonder why it wasn’t working faster.”

Trini would have responded, but she shoved half the sandwich into her waiting mouth. Instead she half-heartedly flipped Kim off, who laughed as she ate her own half. Truth be told, Trini was starving. She hadn’t had breakfast besides coffee, and it was true that she usually didn’t eat much lunch. Her parents couldn’t afford lunch money, and she usually ended up splitting her lunch in half between her brothers so that they would have more food. If she ate with the boys, she could usually bet on at least an apple from Billy, if not a whole sandwich that his mom packed extra.

The two ate their food quietly, Trini polishing hers off in record time, and then Kimberly took out a bag of chips. They were the sour cream and onion kind, Trini’s favorite. They shared the chips in silence, but didn’t look away from one another. Out of nowhere, Kim bolted up and shoved the rest of the chips into Trini’s hands.

“I should go, I do have a test to study for.”

“O...kay,” Trini said slowly, looking up at the girl.

“Look, Tommy’s gonna try to start something. They’re going to be harder on you than usual for awhile.” Kim bounced from foot to foot nervously. She played with the straps on her bookbag. “Just...be careful, okay?”

“Oh, I’m always careful, princess.”

Kim rolled her eyes. “I’m sure. Please, though. For me?”

“Yeah yeah,” Trini nodded. “I’ll be on the lookout.”

“And...I’m sorry you lost Bella.”

“And a month of Saturday detentions,” Trini grumbled. “Don’t know how that man expects me to get paid if I’m in detention.”

“Maybe, you should have thought about that before-”

“Go while I still almost like you,” Trini said.

Kim beamed again. “Bye, Trini.”

“Yeah,” Trini nodded, shoving chips into her mouth. “Bye, Kim.”

* * *

It wasn’t even the end of the day before ‘GREASER TRASH’ was written across her locker in red paint. Trini sighed and opened her locker to switch out her books for her final period. It didn’t even phase her anymore. She slammed the door shut and came face to face with Zack.

“Avoiding us?” He asked, leaning against the wall of lockers.

“Nah,” she said with a lifted shoulder.

“Heard what happened,” he went on. “Can’t really blame you, she had somethin’ comin’ her way, but...you know you started somethin’.”

“How can I start somethin’ if it never ends?”

“I’m just sayin’.”

“I hear ya,” she promised. “But you didn’t hear the way they were talkin’ ‘bout Billy.”

“Is that what she was doing?”

“Yeah. R-word and all.”

“Damn. I mighta lost it, too. But you know Billy doesn’t want us goin’ after people because of him.”

“Too bad,” she said stubbornly.

“Well, I got your back. We all do.”

“Thanks Z-man,” Trini smiled, holding out a hand. Zack slapped it and shook it. “Proud of you for still bein’ here at the end of the day.”

“Like you said, we gotta graduate to get out of here, right?”

“Right.”

“Which means...watchin’ the detentions?” He raised a brow. “Remember, they can’t get us on shit that happens outside of here.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she nodded. “Next time, wait and retaliate. Less anger in the moment.”

“Besides,” Zack said, a smile on his lips. “Anger isn’t good for you.”

“Ah, right, cause you’re so zen all the time.”

He laughed and hitched his bag up his shoulder. “Me and you...we gotta work on that.”

“I gotta get to English,” she said. “I’m stuck in there with the Terror Twins,” she said with an eye-roll.

He made a face and clapped a hand over his heart. “My poor Trini.”

With a laugh she shook her head. “I can handle Tommy and Kim.”

“Oh, _ Kim _?” Zack asked.

“Shut up.” She punched him in the shoulder. “I’ll catch ya later?”

“See ya, T,” he nodded. She started down the hall towards her English class and felt her heart pounding in her chest. She wasn’t entirely sure why. Surely, Zack didn’t know anything, right? It was one little slip up. And, it wasn’t like she was hiding anything. She and Kimberly weren’t friends. They were nothing. 

Moments later, she caught sight of Kimberly walking into their classroom, laughing at something Tommy had said beside her, and Trini gulped. _ What _ was happening?

* * *

English went, surprisingly, uneventful. Oh sure, there were a couple of chair kicks sent Trini’s way, but that was nothing. She caught Kimberly’s gaze once, held it, and looked away quickly. She couldn’t be caught doing that. She tried instead to focus on the lecture, but she could feel the socs eyes on her.

After class let out, Trini met up with Zack and Billy to walk home. She relayed the entire story to Billy, and as predicted, his face fell.

“Trini. I don’t want you getting into trouble because of me,” he said.

“I know. I got carried away,” she replied. “You know me.”

“I do. That’s why I ask you not to.”

“She won’t do it again, will you, T?” Zack cut in.

“Nope. Learned my lesson,” Trini said with a shake of her head.

“Don’t you think she’ll do something to you?” Billy asked warily.

“If she does...bring it,” Trini shrugged. “Ain’t scared of Tommy Oliver.”

“Campfire tonight?” Zack asked. “After I get mom settled in.”

“Yeah, sure,” Trini said.

“I’m in,” Billy added.

They dropped Billy off at his house first, then Zack and Trini walked in a comfortable silence to Zack’s trailer. Trini stopped at the top of the parking lot and looked up at her friend. “See ya tonight?”

“Yeah, bro,” Zack grabbed her hand to shake it and pulled her into a hug. She grudgingly let him. Trini didn’t like hugs generally.

“Peace,” she said before moving on her way. 

She went to the end of the street and rounded the corner. That side of the block was pretty run down. Most of the old houses were abandoned, as were a couple of plots that had been left mid-construction. Most greaser kids used the area as a playground or hangout, just as Trini and they boys had when they were younger. She paused to pull a cigarette from her pocket, but a noise distracted her when she went to light it. She turned to look down the road and saw a truck peeling down it right at her. “Fuck,” she muttered. 

She took off and started to run, but the truck caught up to her first. It jumped the curb and squealed to a stop, dirt flying, in front of her. Several soc boys were in the bed and they jumped out. Trini tried to dodge around the front of the truck, but the boys came at her from all angles and had her face down in the dirt in seconds. She fought them though. Limbs flying and mouth going, she tried to get away. But they all put pressure on her to keep her down. One of the boys had one of her arms twisted hard behind her back, and the other was pinned to the dirt. She could hear laughter, shouts between the socs, and a girl’s voice.

“Good job, guys. Now, hold her real still.” Tommy. 

“Fuck off!” Trini shouted into the dirt. She could feel rocks scratching her face, and a knee was shoved hard into the small of her back.

“Shut the hell up, greaser!” One of the boys shouted.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Trini would know that voice anywhere. Kimberly. Her heart pounded harder, and she wasn’t sure if she was hopeful that Kimberly would rescue her or angry that Kimberly was a part of it.

“m’gonna make you sorry!” Trini yelled, still struggling. She felt someone climb onto her back.

“I’d stay still if I were you,” Tommy said from behind her. “I mean, if I miss I don’t care, but you might.”

Trini felt her hair get pulled back and dread shot through her. “Stop! Let me go!”

“A piece of trash like you needs to learn her lesson,” Tommy went on. “So here’s lesson one; don’t fuck with a soc.” There was a loud chop and Trini felt her hair fall back to her neck, shorter. “Two; don’t fuck with _ this _ soc.” Another chop. Trini swallowed heavily and squeezed her eyes shut. She had to let it happen. Had to stop fighting and give in. She hated giving in.

There were a couple more chops, then Tommy pushed Trini’s head further into the dirt. “Go to hell, _ greaser. _” And Tommy’s weight on Trini’s back disappeared. One by one, the boys let her go, but she didn’t move. She knew she didn’t have her knife, and while she could put up a damn good fight with her fists; she was outnumbered. 

The socs all laughed and climbed back into the truck. The driver revved the engine before backing up. Trini lifted her head slightly to watch them, and as the truck turned to get back onto the road, she saw Kim sitting in the bed with the guys. Kim was staring back at her, eyes wide. 

Trini glared. Fuck Kimberly Hart. Fuck all the socs. She sat up as the truck peeled away, and she kept her eyes on Kim’s until it was out of sight. She rubbed her sore forehead and her hand came away with blood. She looked down and saw a pretty big rock that had probably been the cause. 

Then, slowly, she ran her fingers through her hair. It was choppy and short. No longer than her shoulders. It felt weird. She’d always kept her hair long, and while she wasn’t particularly attached to it, it was her hair.

Her mom was going to kill her.

“Fucking socs,” she muttered. With a shaky hand she took out another cigarette and lit it. She inhaled deeply and let it out as a tear slid down her cheek. She hated being a greaser. She hated their entire fucked up town.

* * *

The sun was starting to set, and the colors bouncing off the sky were beautiful. How such beauty could exist in such an ugly world, Trini would never know. She still sat on that plot and watched the sun begin to go into hiding. She couldn’t go home. Her dad would be mad she got her ass kicked, and her mom would be horrified over her hair. It would all be her fault. It _ was _ all her fault. Her and her stupid anger. 

Her face was dirty, dried tears streaked through the dirt, and forehead covered in dried blood. She was almost out of cigarettes. Her phone had been blowing up with her parents trying to reach her, but she couldn’t answer it. Couldn’t call anyone. She could walk, she was fine, but her pride was damaged.

“Trini? That you?” Trini turned and saw Adam approaching her, hands in his pockets and head down. His face was tipped up a bit and he studied her as he stopped before her. “Socs?” He asked. She nodded. He crouched down and let his elbows rest on his knees, hands dangling between them. “Shit, T, I’m sorry.” Adam knew all too well about getting beat down by socs. He was a good enough fighter, but he was especially picked on by the socs. Because he was quiet. Because they never knew what he was thinking. He pulled a handkerchief from his jacket pocket. “It’s clean,” he said softly. And he brushed it across her face, wiping away the dirt that hadn’t dried to her face from her tears. Those, he didn’t mention. She winced when he ran it over her forehead. “Should get that washed off. Make sure you don’t need stitches.”

“I will,” she said quietly. “Just...can’t go home yet.”

“I get it,” he nodded. He brought the handkerchief back. She looked up and met his eyes. They were furrowed in concern, and in understanding.

Everyone knew that Adam’s dad beat him. Someone else that couldn’t handle Adam’s quiet personality. His soft-spoken words. Adam’s dad was a bully of the highest kind, and he constantly blamed Adam for any trouble that found him. Adam didn’t talk about it, didn’t acknowledge it, but they knew. 

“Thanks Adam,” Trini sighed.

“Want me to sit with you?”

“Sure.”

He nodded and adjusted to sit. He glanced at her then up at the sky. “Joke’s on them,” he said. “Your hair looks good short.”

“Think so?” She wrinkled her nose and ran her fingers through it again. After the blowout she knew was coming with her mom, she knew her mom would fix it. Her mom had been cutting all of their hair for as long as she could remember, and she was good at it.

“Yeah, I think so.”

She smiled to herself and looked at the sky again. Beautiful. “I’m still gettin’ them back,” she said after a while.

“I know.”

“Not gonna try and stop me?”

“They deserve it,” he said, surely. “They always deserve it.”

“Know whose ass I _ really _wanna kick?”

“Whose?”

“Kimberly Hart.”

* * *

It was dark when Trini walked up to the front door of her house, and she was anxious. Her palms were sweating, her heart pounding, and she really didn’t want to go in there. But she had to. She had to clean up and go meet the boys. She just had to walk through that door first.

She took a deep breath and opened the door and stepped inside. She barely had it shut before her mom decended on her like a tornado. June grabbed Trini’s arm to whip her around and face her, and Trini gulped. Braced herself.

“Where have you been?!” June shouted. She looked over her daughter’s appearance. “What happened to your hair?! Did you get into a fight? What have I told you about fighting? Are you hurt? Your forehead. What _ happened _, Trinity? Why won’t you answer me?”

Because she didn’t have the chance to, is what Trini thought to herself. She rubbed her palms against her thighs nervously. “I got jumped.”

“By socs? What did you do? Did you instigate it?”

“Mamí!” Trini drew her hands up to the side of her face and sighed. “Some shit went down, and they came after me. They held me down and cut my hair off.”

“It looks terrible,” June scoffed. “We’ll have to fix it.”

“I know,” Trini said weakly.

June reached up and took Trini’s hands from her face and squeezed them in her own. “Let’s get you cleaned up, okay?”

Trini felt her heart flutter. When was the last time her mom took care of her in such a way? Even the gentle touch on her hands. She nodded. She wanted that. She wanted her Mamí. She felt herself start to tear up, and her mom must have noticed.

“None of that,” she said. “Crying lets them win. You don’t want them to win, do you?”

“No,” Trini replied. She swallowed it all down. “I’m fine.”

“Of course you are.” June pulled Trini into the kitchen. “Sit down.” Trini did, and she watched her mother get a clean towel and run it under some water before coming over to begin wiping Trini’s face. She wiped away all the dirt first before turning the towel around and wiping at the wound on Trini’s forehead. Trini winced, but clenched her teeth through the pain. June tisked. “It’s not very deep, but you’ll have a scar.”

“s’fine,” Trini muttered. She was used to scars. She looked up at her mother, who was still wiping at her face, and felt torn. She needed to go meet the boys, but being fussed over felt so nice. “Will you fix my hair before I go meet the guys?”

“Honestly, Trini,” June sighed. “Why must you go out with them every night? What do you three even do every night? Are you doing drugs? Are you drinking?” And there she was again. Trini’s eyes fell shut and she took a deep breath.

“We just hang,” she said, feeling defensive. “Don’t worry.”

“I’m your mother, I’m supposed to worry.” June pulled away and walked out of the kitchen. Trini dropped her face in her hands and rubbed it, avoiding her forehead, and hard as she tried she couldn’t rid herself of the image of Kimberly watching her as the truck drove away. “Stand up.” 

Trini opened her eyes and saw that her mom had returned. She had newspapers in her arms. Trini did as she was told and watched her mom put the papers on the floor and adjust the chair on top of them. Trini sat back down. June produced her shears. 

“How short would you like to go?” June asked, studying Trini quizzically.

“Um. Just...even it out, I guess,” she replied. “Not much shorter than it is.”

“Alright.” June nodded and moved behind Trini to get to work. The sound of the scissors against her hair made Trini wince. “Hold still,” her mom instructed sharply.

After a long silence, Trini spoke up quietly. “Mamí? Have you ever met a nice soc? Like...one who isn’t like the others?”

June snorted. “Not one.”

“Do you think it’s possible? For there to be one soc out there who...doesn’t hate us? Who thinks this war is stupid?” Trini didn’t know how she found the courage to ask it, but she needed to know. She needed to hear that it wasn’t possible. That she was under some kind of spell with Kimberly Hart. 

“I suppose anything is possible, but would it really change anything? One soc against all of the others?”

Trini was silent, thinking that over. What _ did _ it matter if Kimberly was different? It didn’t mean they could be friends. That afternoon was proof enough.

“What’s this all about?” June asked.

“Nothing. Just...thinking,” Trini said.

“You and your thinking…” June sighed. “But I guess I should be happy you’re actually talking to me for once.”

Trini didn’t know what to say to that. It made her words climb back down her throat. She wanted to be more open with her mom, to have a better relationship, but she knew it would never be that way. Her mom was too critical of her, too demanding. And there was the fact that she was gay and her parents clearly wanted nothing to do with that.

“I’ve done the best I can,” June finally said, stepping back. Trini ran her fingers through her short hair. It felt...nice. Different. Maybe the change she needed.

“Thanks,” she said softly. She got up and turned to face her mom, who was already cleaning up, and for a moment she thought about saying more, but quickly changed her mind. “I gotta go,” she muttered instead. She fled to her room and stood in front of her mirror. She looked different. Maybe older. It looked weird, but she would have to get used to it.

She quickly changed into clean clothes and grabbed her bomber jacket and slid out her window. She could have used the front door, but her window was easier. As she walked further from her house, from the strange encounter with her mom, the weight began to lift from her shoulders. A little. Truthfully, she always carried a weight. She lit a cigarette and walked towards the mines. She was going to have to tell the guys everything, and she wasn’t looking forward to it at all.


	4. you make your way into my veins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been awhile, but new chapter!
> 
> Chapter song from Smoke by PVRIS.

_"you make your way into my veins_   
_course right through my limbs and dig your way into my brain_   
_so in the second that you walk, walk into a room_   
_i can't help myself from that thing that you do"_

* * *

Trini was anxious walking up to the campfire. Her blunt nails scratched against her jean-clad thigh with one hand, while the other carried her lit cigarette. She brought it to her lips shakily and stopped in front of the fire, dirt kicking up around her feet. The boys stopped talking and looked up at her, and for a moment no one said anything, but then Billy shot up to his feet.

“Trini! Your hair!”

Her eyes fell to her feet. “Yeah,” she said, sheepishly. One of her feet kicked and ground into the dirt nervously.

“Looks good, but why the change?” Zack asked.

“I don’t like it,” Billy said quickly. Trini’s gaze shot up to him, a frown on her lips. Billy’s eyes were wide and he was shaking his head. “No. It’s not right.”

Right. Billy didn’t do well with sudden change. She should have warned him. “B...I know.” Her eyes squinted. “I had to.”

“What does that mean?” Zack asked, leaned back in his chair and doing nothing to help the panicking Billy.

“I’ll tell you when Billy’s cool,” she snapped.

“I am not cool,” Billy replied. He walked over to Trini and peered closely at her. “It’s short.”

“It is,” she nodded. “Do you wanna feel it?”

He reached out towards her hair, but pulled his hand back. “Why did you cut it?”

Eyes closed, Trini took a deep breath. “The socs jumped me,” she said evenly. “Tommy cut my hair.”

“Bitch did _ what _?!” Zack jumped to his feet. “I’ll kill ‘em.”

“Zack.” Trini opened her eyes and looked at him. “It’s my fault. She was just getting back at me for what I did.”

“I don’t care! Is that why your face is all cut up?” He was visibly getting more angry, his face clenching, and Trini knew she needed to defuse it.

“I got what I deserved,” she said. “Mamí fixed my hair after. So. Now it’s short.” She shrugged, playing off how self-conscious she felt. Billy’s freak out wasn’t helping.

“Well, it looks good, crazy girl,” Zack said with a sigh. He looked at Billy. “B-man, don’t she look good?”

Billy blinked, stared at Trini more, and scratched his head. “She looks good,” he agreed. “But it’s so….different.”

“We all gotta get used to it,” Trini told him.

“Yeah...we’ll get used to it,” he nodded. He clapped his hands together. “We’ll all get used to it and it’ll be fine.”

“There ya go,” Zack said.

Billy walked back around to his chair and sat down. “Short hair Trini,” he said to himself.

“Short hair Trini,” she repeated. She dropped the butt of the cigarette and ground it out with her toe, glancing up through her lashes at Zack. He still looked angry. “Hey,” she said softly. “I’m fine.”

“Don’t bullshit me,” he replied.

“I’m not,” she insisted. “So they got me,” she said, lifting a shoulder. “Next time I’m gonna get them.”

“Yeah...yeah,” Zack nodded, finally sitting back down. “We’re getting them back for this.”

Trini walked around to her waiting chair and settled down in it. “Cool. But Tommy’s mine.”

“You got it,” Zack agreed. “Go ape shit on that bitch.”

“The bitch won’t know what’s comin’,” Trini said, slouching and crossing her arms.

“What are we going to do?” Billy asked.

“Don’t know yet, but it’ll be good,” Trini told him.

“Beer?” Zack asked, holding one out to her.

“Fuck yeah,” she said. She took it and popped it open then took a long gulp of it. She felt it wash down her and breathed out slowly. “I hate them,” she said lowly, before taking another sip.

* * *

Trini was staring at the fire, not really thinking about anything, when she heard twigs crunching. She jumped and looked around in time to see Kimberly emerge from the woods. She quickly looked at Zack and Billy, who were still sound asleep. She jumped to her feet and went to Kim’s side. She grabbed the girl by the elbow and pulled her back through the line of trees.

“Are you kiddin’ me?” She hissed under her breath. “What if one’a them saw you?”

“I figured you’d tell them I’m cool,” Kimberly said.

“You are so not cool.”

“And here I thought we were getting along.”

“You mean after you let them do this?” Trini stopped and pointed to her hair. Kimberly stared at her, a funny look on her face. Like she was in a trance. Trini started to feel self-conscious. “What?”

“It, uh, it looks good,” Kimberly said, eyes dropping.

“That’s not the point.”

“I know! I’m sorry!”

“Ssh!” Trini took Kimberly’s arm again and dragged her through the woods to their clearing. 

“Trini, I’m sorry.”

“A lotta good that does me.”

“What did you want me to do? Tell them to stop because we’re friends? They only would have made it worse.”

“We ain’t friends.”

“Aren’t.”

“Don’t fuckin’ correct my grammer!” Trini crossed her arms and scowled.

Kimberly sighed. “I am sorry,” she said again. “Watching them do that to you...was harder than I thought it would be.”

“Pretty sure havin’ it done to me was worse.”

“I want to make it up to you.”

“How you expect to do that?”

“Well...I thought...this might be a start?” Kimberly looked almost sheepish as she stepped up to Trini, who took a step back. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

“You sure ‘bout that?”

Kimberly sighed and held up a rectangular yellow box. “This is for you.”

Trini eyed it as though it were a bomb. “What is it?”

“A present.”

“Why?”

“Just open it!” Kimberly huffed, holding it out further.

Trini stared a beat longer before gingerly reaching out for the box. It wasn’t very heavy, but it had a definite weight to it. “Don’t feel like jewelry.” She shook it and it clunked.

“Didn’t take you for the jewelry type.”

“What would make you think that?” Trini gasped.

Kimberly smiled and shook her head. “Open it, goofball.”

“Wow.” Trini started to lift the lid from the box. “No one’s ever called me goofball.” Then her voice was gone when she saw what lay in the box. She blinked. “It’s...a knife...I think…” She tilted her head. It was pink. Bright, cheerful pink. With little white butterflies. There was even a small, silver butterfly on the clip. She took it from the box and held it. She liked the weight. It was familiar.

But it was pink. With butterflies.

“Seriously?” She raised a brow to Kimberly.

The soc started to laugh. “I saw it and thought ...now _ that’s _ a knife made for Trini.”

“Funny,” Trini said dryly. She licked her lips. “You...really got this for me?”

“Yeah, I really did. I know you need protection.”

“I don’t _ need _ protection,” Trini said, stubbornly. “I got fists.”

Kimberly took a step closer. “Will you just say thank you?”

Trini tipped her head back slightly to look up at Kimberly, their eyes holding for several moments, before she nodded. “Thank you.” There was no telling when she’d be able to buy a new one herself, so she’d make due with the pink. And the butterflies. She looked down at it and ran her thumb along it. “Why’d you do this?”

“Because,” Kimberly said softly, taking another step forward. “You deserve to have someone do something for you.”

The words made Trini’s heart ache in a way she wasn’t used to. She nodded again for lack of anything better to do. She glanced up to Kimberly’s eyes again, and the soc was staring at her. A chill hit Trini’s spine. Kimberly really was beautiful. Trini opened her mouth. Moved it without words. She closed it, took a breath, and tried again. “I’m still mad you watched it all.”

“Me too,” Kimberly said. Her gaze dropped in what Trini assumed was shame. “I tried to tell them not to do it, but Tommy was so keyed up. You really pissed her off.”

“Well she really pisses me off!” Trini grumbled. 

“I know.”

Trini sighed and walked over to the cliff and sat on the edge of it. She gazed out at the sight before her, dark and mysterious as it was, and she felt Kimberly sit beside her. Both were quiet for a long time, lost in their own thoughts, but then Kimberly took Trini’s hand in hers and intertwined their fingers. Trini looked down at their hands, confused almost. She looked at Kimberly.

“What?” Kimberly asked, innocent tone.

“I...uh, nothing,” Trini replied. She looked forward again and felt her cheeks heat up, and she hoped it was dark enough for Kimberly to not notice it. The girl’s hand felt good in Trini’s. Soft. Strong. It felt...nice. So she let it be. And they sat quietly together, holding hands, for a long, long time.

Eventually, Kimberly pulled her hand from Trini’s gently. “I should probably go home,” she said. “My parents don’t know where I am.”

“Oh,” Trini responded, already missing the warmth of the other girl’s hand. “Yeah. Don’t get in trouble for me.”

“I can’t think of a better reason to get into trouble,” Kimberly said with a small smile. Then she leaned in and softly kissed Trini’s cheek, letting her lips linger there for a moment. Trini froze. “Good night, Trini,” she said as she pulled away. Her voice sounded like she was still smiling, a little sure of herself, but Trini wouldn’t know because her eyes were on the ground. 

“Uh...uh huh…” Was all she could say. 

Kimberly got up and stood there a moment, but then turned and walked away. Trini lifted her head and turned to watch her go. Kimberly glanced over her shoulder, smiling still, and gave Trini a tiny wave. Then she was gone.

Trini lifted her hand to her cheek. Her heart was pounding and she felt something warm in her stomach. It was an odd mix of feelings. She looked down at the knife sitting in her lap and stared at it. Kimberly had really gotten her a new knife. Had thought of her. What did that mean? What did the kiss mean?

Then her face hardened. It couldn’t mean anything. Kimberly was a soc. She picked up the knife and popped out the blade. She watched it glimmer in the moonlight, and she buried the strange feelings she felt. She couldn’t feel those things. Not about a soc. Not even one as pretty as Kimberly Hart. 

She still couldn’t trust Kimberly. No gift would change that.

* * *

The next morning, Trini was on her way out of her bedroom when she glanced over at her beat up, second-hand dresser and saw the pink knife laying on top of it. She stared at it for a moment before ultimately rolling her eyes and walking over to grab it. She bent and tucked it into her boot then stood up. Kimberly was right. She needed protection.

And it didn’t take long for that to become true. Trini walked to school with Zack and Billy like always, and Billy ran off to the science lab when they arrived at the school. Zack and Trini met up with Z, and the three walked through the hallways, talking and laughing. Until they came to a crowding of students where shouting could be heard. It was the delighted, mean kind. Trini craned her neck up to try and see what was going on, but all she could see was heads.

“What’s happenin’?” She asked her friends.

“Shit…” Zack shook his head. “Ty and Jason and their friends have Adam. They’re shoving him around.”

“They _ what _?” Trini snapped. She shoved her way through the kids that were standing around cheering, and she vaguely felt Z trying to grab her.

“Trini! Stop!” Z shouted.

Trini ignored her. She shoved students out of her way, ignored their taunts, and reached down into her boot. She flicked the knife out and pointed it to the back of the first boy’s neck she found. He froze and turned slightly. It was Jason. “Stop,” she growled.

“Guys. Guys!” He called to his friends. They stopped pushing Adam back and forth and looked at him. “Let’s finish this later.”

“You’ll leave him alone,” Trini spat.

“And answer to who?” Ty asked, stepping over. “You? We could pummel you in a second.”

“And I could slit your boy’s throat in half a second.”

“Hey, we stopped,” Ty said, putting his hands up.

Trini looked at Adam, who looked back at her for a moment before stooping to pick up his bag and run away. Trini pulled the knife back and closed it. “Glad we had this talk.” She put it back in her boot.

“We’ll be having another talk soon,” Jason said to her. He shoved her with his shoulder as he walked past her, the crowd disappearing, and his friends followed.

“Yeah, you’re lucky this time, greaser,” Ty threatened. 

“I’m lucky every time!” Trini called after him.

Only Zack and Z remained, and they came to her side. “That was ballsy,” Z said.

“And dumb,” Zack added. “They’re gonna get you back for that.”

“No one pushes Adam around,” Trini said softly. Zack and Z shared a meaningful look and nodded. They understood. “A’ight. Now. Everyone go to class. No skipping.”

“Awww,” Z and Zack whined together.

* * *

“That was stupid.”

Trini looked up from where she sat under the bleachers during lunch and saw Kimberly standing over her. Her blue plaid skirt was blowing slightly in the wind, and her white sweater was...well...very fitting. Trini tore her eyes from the outfit and looked into Kimberly’s dark eyes.

“You gotta be more specific,” she said, leaning back on one hand. “I do a lotta stupid shit.”

“You know what I’m talking about.”

Rolling her eyes, Trini looked away. “Someone had to stop them.”

“And get a target on your back? Get another knife taken away?” Kimberly crouched down closer to Trini’s eye level, and Trini couldn’t help but meet her gaze again. It was hypnotic that way.

“I already got a target on my back,” she said. “Rather it be on mine than Adam’s.”

“You don’t have to put yourself in front of every speeding train.”

“When it’s barrelin’ towards my friends, I do,” Trini said. She set her jaw stubbornly. What would a soc understand about that?

“You’re…” Kimberly sighed and shook her head.

“I’m what?”

“Infuriating,” the soc said. “And...it’s cute.”

“I ain’t cute.”

Kimberly smiled and sat down with her legs curled under herself. “Yes, you are. Accept it.”

“Take it back.”

“Never.”

“I’ll beat you up,” Trini mock-threatened.

“I’d like to see you try.” And Kimberly set a look on Trini, one she couldn’t describe, but one that was full of challenge and part...hot. Trini gulped.

“I only beat up people who deserve it.”

“So I don’t deserve it?”

“...guess not. Not today anyhow.”

“I feel honored.”

“Wasn’t meant to honor you,” Trini replied, a slight smirk curling her lips.

“Oh, but you did. And you can’t take it back.” Kimberly’s eyes were sparkling, and Trini wanted to see them sparkle forever.

She had to put a stop to it. “You’re still not forgiven.”

That did it. Kimberly’s gaze softened and her lips fell. “What else can I do?”

“I don’t know.” Trini ran her fingers through her short hair. 

“It does look good on you.”

“...thanks.” 

“I should go,” Kimberly said, getting to her feet. “I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah. Sure.”

“Bye, Trini.” And Kimberly started to walk away.

“Bye, Kimberly.”

She stopped and glanced over her shoulder. “Kim.”

“Bye, _ Kim _.”

And Kim grinned and walked away. And Trini closed her eyes as she felt her heart pound.

* * *

A few nights later, Trini and the boys were having a campfire. Things had been quiet at school, eerily so. It didn’t sit well with Trini, but she was trying to not be too anxious about it. Zack said she was worrying too much, Billy said everything was fine. She tried to believe them.

A feeling started to call to her, gnaw at her, and eventually she rose to her feet. “I’mma take a walk,” she said.

“You good?” Zack asked.

“Yeah, just need to walk.” She shoved her hands in her pockets and walked off towards the line of trees and disappeared into them. She followed the moonlight to the opening where she found Kim sitting on the edge of the cliff. She walked over and sat beside her. The soc tilted her head and gave her a small smile.

“I was hoping you’d come out here. I could smell the fire.”

Trini didn’t comment on the feeling that she had that had led her out there. It was too weird. She shrugged a shoulder instead. “Just a coincidence,” she said. “I needed some air.”

“Mhmm,” Kim hummed, clearly not believing her.

“So...your friends...they sayin’ shit?” Trini whipped out the knife and popped it open before closing it and opening it again.

“You mean...about coming after you?”

“Yeah.”

“Not to me.” Kimberly shook her head and tucked her hair behind her ear, even though it didn’t stay. “But I know they’re pissed off that you showed them up.”

Trini smirked a little at that, proud of herself. “Well...if they do try anythin’, I’ll be prepared.” She flicked the knife out with another twist of her wrist. Kimberly’s eyes fell to it and there was a moment of silence before she replied.

“I don’t want...anyone to get hurt.”

“If that was true, princess, you wouldn’t’ve given it to me.”

“I didn’t give it to you to hurt them,” Kimberly protested. “Only to protect yourself.”

“What’s the difference?” Trini turned and looked at the soc, truly curious about her answer.

“Well...if you attack someone with it, you’re hurting them. If they come for you and you show them you have it and aren’t afraid to use it, but don’t, then you’re protecting yourself without hurting anyone.”

“That...ain’t how it works.” Trini snorted. Kimberly’s innocence was almost adorable. “They come at me, I fight.”

“You don’t have to. That’s my point.”

“You think they’ll just say ‘oh neat knife, okay nevermind’?” Trini shook her head. “Nah, they ain’t gonna be shit unless they get me. Shut me up awhile.”

“They’re really not that violent,” Kimberly said. “I know they act a big game, but-”

“But your precious boyfriend wouldn’t hurt me?” Trini’s eyes sparkled at the amusement that brought her. 

“I- he-...” Kimberly closed her mouth and sighed. “I know what he’s capable of.”

“Do you?” Trini’s words began as a rebuttal, but she thought better of it and her gaze softened. “Do you?” She asked again, gentler. “I mean...has he ever…”

“What? Me? No. No,” Kim said, shaking her head. “Ty has never hurt me, but I know he has a lot of anger inside of him.”

“Why are you _ with _ him?” Trini couldn’t hide the disgust in her voice. “He’s...horrible, and you’re-you’re…”

Kimberly turned more towards Trini, her hand in the dirt precariously close to Trini’s, fingers inching closer still. “I’m what?”

Trini gulped. She wanted to look away from Kimberly’s hypnotic gaze, but she couldn’t. She was drawn in. Beautiful. Kind. Charming. Just a few of the words going through Trini’s mind, but she gasped out, “Not.”

“So, I’m not horrible?” She looked highly amused, and it irritated Trini.

“Not particularly, no.”

“I’m taking that as a compliment.”

Trini’s gaze finally dropped. “I’m just sayin’....I don’t get it.”

It was then that Kimberly’s fingers did brush the tips of Trini’s, and both of their eyes fell to the touch. “Is it for you to get though?” Kimberly asked. “I mean...what do you care?”

“I don’t,” Trini answered, far too quickly. “Date who you want.”

“Trini.” 

Trini didn’t respond. She just tried to control her breathing, which was really hard with Kimberly’s fingers touching her own, and the way Kimberly’s face was suddenly closer to her own. 

“Trini…”

Trini licked her lips and looked over Kimberly’s shoulder, angling her face away from the soc’s. “I gotta get back.”

“Please don’t,” Kimberly whispered.

“Why?”

“Because…” With that simple breathed word, Trini’s eyes were brought back to Kimberly’s, and Kimberly’s searched hers for something. “Because I’ve waited all day to be near you.”

Trini gulped again and sat up straight. She pulled her hands into her lap, far away from Kimberly’s touch, and she stared out at the ravines before them. What was she supposed to say to that? That she had, too? That she had sat at the campfire itching to run over and see if the soc was waiting for her? That she wanted nothing more in that moment to learn what Kimberly’s kiss tasted like? She shook her head. “This is all wrong.”

“We can be friends, Trini.”

The words, ‘Is that what we’re doing?’ were stuck on Trini’s tongue. Instead, she nodded. She couldn’t ask it. Couldn’t bear the answer. 

“Do you want to go back to your friends?” Kimberly reached over and took Trini’s hand in hers and began to stroke the back of it. Trini shook her head. She didn’t want to move from that spot. She glanced over, the smallest of looks, and saw Kimberly smile. It made Trini’s heart flutter. “Good,” Kimberly said softly.

They didn’t speak for a long time. Just sat together in their silence, hands held, and listened to each other breathing. After awhile, Kimberly broke it, and Trini almost jumped at the sudden sound of her soft voice.

“What do you do on the weekends?”

“Me?”

“Yes, silly,” Kimberly laughed. “Who else?”

“Oh.” Trini flushed. “I, uh, mostly work at my uncle’s shop.”

“What kind of shop?”

“Auto repairs.”

“Really? What do you do?”

“Mostly sit at the front desk and answer the phones, but sometimes I help my uncle with some of the repairs. The simple stuff.”

“Wow,” Kim said, sounding impressed. “Do you know a lot about cars?”

“You could say that,” Trini nodded, growing some bravado. “I mean, you won’t catch me stranded on the side of the road anytime.”

“Hmm. You sound useful to keep around.”

“I’m useful for lots of stuff,” Trini replied, almost offended.

“Oh? What else?” And there was something in that tone, in Kimberly’s voice, that shook Trini. Made her stumble over her thoughts. She caught herself quickly.

“The rest I’ll have to show you.”

“Like...private lessons?” The suggestive tone was still in Kimberly’s voice, but Trini was prepared for it that time. She gave the soc’s hand a little squeeze.

“If that’s what you want, princess.”

It was Kimberly’s turn not to speak, and for a moment Trini was afraid she had taken it too far, but then the soc cleared her throat. “Tell me more about your life.”

“What do you wanna know?”

“Everything.”

Trini chuckled. “My life ain’t all that interestin’, trust me. Not livin’ the high life like some soc.”

“Soc life isn’t interesting at all,” Kimberly said. “It’s boring and monotonous.”

“Is that why you wanna be my friend? Make your life more interestin’ by hangin’ with a greaser?” 

“No, don’t be an idiot. _ You’re _ interesting. Not because you’re a greaser, but...because…”

“Because…”

“Because you’re you,” Kimberly supplied with a shrug.

“Oh.” Trini smiled softly. She couldn’t remember a time when someone wanted to know her for _ her _. That someone called her interesting. Sure, she knew her boys loved her for who she was, but...this was Kimberly. And...apparently that name had weight in Trini’s heart already. She sighed. “So, I hang out with my brothers a lot on the weekends. We play games and watch movies, and I keep them from killing each other.”

Kimberly laughed. “How old are they?”

“Eight. Twins.”

“Oh wow, sounds like a handful.”

“Yeah, but we get along. I’ve kinda...always been the third parent with them, so they listen to me.”

“That had to have been tough,” Kimberly said, care in her tone.

“Yeah…” Trini nodded. She chewed her lip and looked away. “I mean, I don’t resent them or anything. I love them.”

“Of course you do. I just mean...to be put in that position.”

“That’s just how it is in greaser families. You get old enough, you help out any way you can.”

“Makes sense.”

Trini nodded. She didn’t want to have to defend her life, but she would. She also didn’t want to speak poorly of her parents, because she knew they worked as hard as they could to keep their family together and stable. “Mighta been different if we’d grown up like you,” she said. “Could just chill and be young, not worry about the world.”

“There’s plenty of world to worry about in my life,” Kimberly said. “The world of acting right, looking right, and getting into the right school.”

“They really get on you about that?” Trini looked over at the soc, who was looking down at her lap.

“Big time,” Kimberly said with a nod. “They had a fit when I cut my hair. A true lady wouldn’t have a bob, I guess.”

“Psh,” Trini shook her head. “You’re gorgeous.” Then she realized what she said and blushed.

“I am?” Kimberly tilted her head and smirked slightly.

“You know you are,” Trini said. “Don’t need me to tell you.”

“It’s still nice to hear from you.”

“Why did you really cut it?” Trini asked softly.

Kimberly stared into her eyes for a moment, dark eyes growing darker, before she looked forward. “Ty slept with Amanda,” she said, her voice thick. Trini’s mouth dropped open. Before she could say anything, Kimberly continued. “He said it didn’t mean anything, that it was just...the idea of something new...different...I guess, I thought, if he wanted different I’d give him different. Really, I was angry and jealous, and sometimes I can be...irrational. Act without thinking. So I picked up the scissors from my desk and chopped it off. Turns out, Ty’s not a big fan of short hair.”

“First of all, that complete dickwad. He _ cheated _ on you? And you...you changed yourself for him?”

“No! I didn’t...I didn’t do it _ for _ him, I did it...I guess, _ because _ of him. Because of them.” Kimberly shook her head and leaned close to Trini to look her in the eye. “I’m not that girl that changes herself for some guy.” It was like she needed Trini to hear it, but Trini had heard enough.

“But...you stay with one that cheated on you? You’re _ that _ kind of girl?”

Kimberly huffed and sat back. “Now you’re judging me.”

“Well...yeah! He’s a douchebag, Kimberly. How does...someone like you stay with someone so...vile?”

Kimberly was quiet for a long time, staring off into the distance, but then she looked at Trini, and her eyes were full of pain and heartache. “Because it’s the life I was born into. It’s what’s expected of me. You wouldn’t understand.”

“You’re right. I don’t understand.” Trini dropped Kimberly’s hand. 

“It’s the perfect social life,” Kimberly said, a bit sadly. “Make good grades, find a nice man, go to an Ivy League college, then forget your degree, settle down, have kids...continue the cycle…”

“You want me to feel _ sorry _ for you? For havin’ money and status?” Trini got to her feet. “Well, that ain’t happenin’.”

Kimberly stood up. “I’m just telling you what my life is like. The life you don’t understand. The life you ridicule.”

“Oh! So sorry that your life is paved out for you so perfectly!” Trini waved her arms around. “Sorry that you don’t gotta worry about your family losin’ their house, or how _ fucked _ you would be if you lost one of your parents. Sorry you don’t experience all the stress I feel every goddamn day!”

“You want me to pity you?! Is that what it is?!”

“No! I don’t wanna hear you whine about how hard your life is, when you have _ no idea _ what hard really is!”

“Why does it have to be a competition?!” Kimberly shouted. “Why does it matter who has the harder life?!”

“Because you don’t understand!”

“Make me!”

“You! Are! Insufferable!” Trini stomped her foot, actually stomped her foot.

“And you’re a child!” 

Trini stood there, breath heaving, glaring at Kimberly, and Kim glared right back. Trini shook her head. “See? This is why we can’t be friends.”

“Because you’re an asshole?”

“Is that ladylike language?”

“I’m not much of a lady, after all,” Kimberly replied. She moved forward and grabbed Trini’s face in her hands, and the two stared at each other as they tried to catch their breath. Trini wanted to say something, to move forward, but she was frozen. Frozen by the touch, by the look in Kimberly’s eyes, and by the way Kimberly’s lips seemed to glisten under the moonlight, just begging to be kissed.

Trini swallowed. 

Kimberly leaned in and brushed her lips to Trini’s cheek softly. “We are friends,” she whispered. “Whether you like it or not.” She pulled back and stared into Trini’s eyes. “Next time I see you, please don’t be an asshole.” Then she released Trini’s face, stepped back, and walked away. 

Trini watched Kimberly walk off through the trees and disappear, and Trini let out a long sigh, her shoulders sinking. Her face still burned where Kimberly had touched it, where Kimberly had kissed her, and Trini closed her eyes. 

“Oh, fuck,” she whispered to herself.


	5. as a friend as a known enemy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cw: biphobia, d-slur  
chapter title: come as you are by nirvana
> 
> If you follow me on tumblr (5ivebyfive) you’ll know that writing and life are hard. I’ve been rereading my old fics in hopes of something grabbing me to work on. I really do want to finish, but my focus is shot these days. Depression tends to steal up all of my creativity as well as personality. But I hope that in time I get to all of them, and finish all of them, because I have so many ideas. I think a part of me, too, fell in the trap of “well people aren’t very interested in my fics” and “well other people are more popular than me” and shit’s hard to get away from. Realistically, I know that not everyone will like my work, and that lots of people enjoy it without telling me so, and that a lot of people have moved on from this pairing altogether (can’t relate). I know all of these things, but remembering and believing my works are still worth sharing despite it all are separate things. So. Will I give up? Not yet. And I hope you don’t give up on me.
> 
> Now, your next scheduled update of in a hopeless place.

“Is that you?”

Trini tried to be soundless when she trampled through the bushes, but she knew she was caught. “Yeah,” she called out softly. “Where are you?” Kimberly stepped into view in the clearing. She was dressed in all black like some kind of spy, and she wore a black hat on her head to keep her hair back. Trini frowned. “What the hell, Spy Hart?”

“You got my note,” Kimberly said, a smile appearing on her face.

Trini held up the piece of notebook paper with ‘ _ 6 pm _ ’ written on it in pink ink that had spilled out of her locker that day after Saturday detention. “Figured it was from you or my secret admirer.”

“Or we’re the same person?”

“Then it’s not a secret.”

Kimberly snatched the note from Trini, still grinning. “Come on.”

“Where? What’s up with you?”

“My parents are gone all weekend, and you’re staying at my house tonight so we can hang out like normal seventeen year olds.”

“Uhh...the hell I am,” Trini replied, brows knitting. “Pretty sure if I even step into your house some soc alarm bell will go off across the entire town.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Kimberly grabbed Trini’s hand and tugged her in the opposite direction from which Trini had come. “It’s dark and no one will see you come in. In the morning, you can sneak out and no one will know.”

“You...really thought this through.” Trini still dragged her feet. It didn’t sound safe. It didn’t sound like their usual thing, and that inherently made it unsafe. More oddness from the week seeping into her weekend, and it was a little too much for her. She stopped in her tracks and Kimberly stumbled with.

“What? Trini, it’s totally safe. No one else will be there all weekend. I swear.”

“You just...you gotta slow down a minute,” Trini told her.

“Do you want to call your parents? Will they worry?”’

Trini snorted. “No. They won’t. That’s not the point. You live...in a fuckin’ castle, far as I see it, and I’m...I can’t…”

“I’m inviting you.” Kimberly moved closer against Trini and reached out to tuck her hair behind her ear. “I want to spend time with you somewhere that isn’t...that rock,” she said, pointing at the rock they typically sat on.

With a deep breath and some thinking it over, Trini slowly nodded. She knew no one was going to miss her that night. She had told her parents she was going out with the boys, and she had told the boys she was staying home. The first time she had ever lied to Billy and Zack over something like that. But she hadn’t wanted to share what she knew was going to be her time with Kimberly. She wanted the girl for herself. What better way to do that than go somewhere they’d never in a million years find her? She looked into Kimberly’s eyes. “You  _ swear _ your folks won’t find me? Like...swear on your ugly cheer uniform?”

“My cheer uniform is cute,” Kimberly informed her. Then she smirked. “But yeah, I swear on it. I swear on your brothers’ life. They won’t be home until tomorrow night. No one else will come over.”

Trini felt a wave of fear crawl through her. It was that easy. Kimberly had her. And she knew how damn reckless and wrong it was. She knew she needed to stay away. But it was Kimberly Hart. “Okay,” she whispered.

Kimberly bounced and tugged Trini by the hand again. “Okay. So the path ends right before my house, but there’s a way into my backyard. You’ll go back there and wait for me to go in the front and let you in, okay?”

“Sounds like you got this all figured out,” Trini said with a nod. “Can I smoke? I really need to smoke.”

“Yeah, just not at my house.”

“No, it’s cool. Just...yeah…” Trini fumbled through her pockets for her cigarettes and lighter and lit one up. The first comforting inhale was enough to relax her a little as they walked. “You...really sure you want me in your house?” Trini hated to sound so unconfident, but it was an entirely new situation. She had never even  _ been _ in a soc’s house before. 

“Why wouldn’t I?”

Trini could give the soc a list of reasons, but she knew Kim wouldn’t listen to them. She’d only seen Kimberly once since the last time they met, and it was their usually short lunch meeting. Trini had been keeping out of trouble for the most part, and Kim hadn’t had a need to yell at her recently. It was, of course, all due to the fact that Kimberly’s friends were being ominously quiet around Trini and her friends. Sure, the daily goading and name-calling, but whatever they were planning hadn’t come to fruition yet. And the entire thing kind of terrified Trini.

“What do you want to have for dinner?” Kimberly asked. “We can order anything you want. On me.”

“I’ve told you I don’t need handouts.”

“It’s not a handout if I invited you to spend the night. It’s me being a good hostess.”

Trini rolled her eyes and shrugged her shoulders. “Whatever. m’not picky.” She stubbed out her cigarette and stuffed her hands in her pockets. She couldn’t even remember if she’d eaten that day yet.

“Okay. I’ll pick,” Kimberly said. She took out her phone and started scrolling through some app with it. Trini didn’t know a damn thing about apps, her phone was too old to even support any. “You like pizza?”

“Who doesn’t?”

“What toppings?”

“Literally, could not care less, Kimberly.”

“Meat Lover’s it is,” Kim answered. She clicked a few more times then pocketed her phone. “This is going to be fun!”

“Better be, Princess,” Trini replied. “I cut back a big social schedule tonight for you.”

“Where are Zack and Billy?”

The mention of her best friends sobered Trini. She sighed down at her feet. “I told ‘em I didn’t feel good.”

“And you’re not used to lying to them?”

“Nah.”

“How would they take...us? You and me being friends?”

Trini let out a breath and ran her fingers through her hair. “Billy...he’d be confused. Zack would be pissed.”

“So, it sucks, but...it’s better? For now?”

“Yeah...I know.” It didn’t mean she had to like it.

“This is me. Here, sneak under that bush there then wait by the back porch until I come get you. No one will see you,” Kim said, pointing to a bush. Trini nodded and did as she was told. She crawled into the fenced yard and looked around. It looked bigger than the entire property her house sat on. And the house? The house was  _ huge _ . How only three people lived there, Trini wasn’t sure. It could easily fit three families. She itched to light another cigarette, but she remembered Kimberly’s words and refrained. She sat down on the darkened wood of the huge back deck and looked up at the moon. It still looked the same from where she sat. It was one of those things she’d always kinda imagined somehow looked even better from the soc’s side.

“Come on,” Kimberly’s voice whispered across the deck. Trini got up and walked up and across it to the open back door. No lights were on, but she found her way to the other girl easily enough. Kimberly closed the door behind them and turned the blinds before turning on the kitchen light. “Do you want something to drink? The pizza should be here in a little while.”

“Sure. Got anythin’ hard?” She needed  _ something _ to handle her nerves.

“Of course,” Kimberly nodded. She went to a small alcove of the dining room and opened up a fancy liquor cabinet. “How does...Gin and Sprite sound?” She called across the rooms.

“Never had gin,” Trini admitted, sheepishly.

“Oh, it’s one of my favorites. Just wait.” Kimberly almost expertly poured two drinks and brought them over to Trini’s side. “Try.” She pushed one in front of the greaser.

“Bottom’s up,” Trini replied. She brought the drink to her lips and swallowed down the sweetness and nodded. “Not bad.”

“Do you want a tour? Or I can show you my room?”

“Let’s, uh, save the tour,” Trini commented. She needed a couple more drinks in her before really seeing how the other half lived.

“Okay, come see my room.” Kimberly picked up her drink and led the way up a back staircase. Trini followed, acutely aware of how every step they took seemed to echo throughout the entire house. Kimberly led them down the hallway and through a door of a...very pink bedroom. Trini tried to suppress a laugh, because it was exactly how she imagined Princess Kimberly Hart slept at night. Big, princess bed and all. Kimberly set her drink down and looked over her shoulder at Trini. “What? Don’t like it?”

“Nah...it’s...it’s very cute,” Trini nodded. “I mean, you could probably fit my whole house in here, but it’s cute.”

“Look, I’m...I’m really not trying to rub anything in, okay?” Kimberly said gently.

“I know,” Trini said. And she did. She was past thinking that’d be something Kim would do. It was just how it was between them. Kimberly had...and Trini had not. “I gotta see your bathroom though.” Trini said, walking through the room to the attached bathroom. She stepped in, flickering the light on, and gasped. It was easily bigger than her bedroom. She shook her head and turned the light off to walk back out to Kimberly. “So...this like...normal soc house size? Or are you guys super rich?” It was probably a blunt question, but she had stopped caring about things like that a long time ago in her life.

“ _ My parents _ are rich, yes,” Kimberly emphasized. “But Amanda’s house is a lot bigger than ours.”

“She doesn’t count,” Trini said, nose curled. “She’s disgusting, I’m-so-rich-I’m-literally-less-pretty rich.”

“You don’t think Amanda’s pretty?” Kimberly kicked off her shoes and climbed onto her bed. Trini hovered by one of the posts, drink still in her hand.

“No.”

“Who do you think is pretty?”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, I mean...you like...girls, right?”

Trini smirked. It definitely wasn’t a secret at school, thanks to Kim’s friends. “Yeah, I like girls. I don’t know. I don’t have a type.”

“Okay...but who’s a girl I might know that you do think is pretty?” Kimberly picked up her glass and drank from it, and Trini felt like she was being put on the spot, but it also felt like a dare, and she wasn’t one to back off a dare. 

“You know Z Delgado?” Trini watched Kimberly’s nose wrinkle as she thought about it. “Hangs out with me a lot at my locker. Long, dark hair, wears flannel a lot…”

“Oh! The one that looks like you!”

“Okay, we don’t look that much alike,” Trini said, rolling her eyes. “But...yeah.”

“Ohh, yeah she’s pretty. I almost bumped into her the other day thinking it was you.”

Trini shook her head, smiling, and took a sip of her drink. “Yeah, well, me and her hook up sometimes. You know, friends with benefits or whatever.”

“O-oh?” Kimberly seemed to snap to attention, and her head tilted. “I...could see the attraction, I guess.”

“ _ Sure _ ,” Trini snorted. 

“What? You think I can’t appreciate another girl?”

“I don’t know, Princess. Can you? Your taste in dudes plainly sucks.”

“That’s entirely unfair,” Kimberly replied, voice slightly cold.

“Is it?” 

“Yes! I’ve told you, Ty-”

“You’ve told me enough to know he’s a dick,” Trini argued. “Like I even need convincin’ to begin with.”

“Well, I’ll have you know, I might be dating and marrying Ty, but…” Kimberly’s chin lifted. “I think girls are hot, too.”

“So... _ you’re _ bi?” Trini knew her features looked doubtful. She had met plenty of girls over the last few years of her life that claimed to be bi, but she wasn’t so sure once the clothes came off. Not that she was any expert, of course. She just didn’t want her own sexuality compared to that of a bored teenage soc. She must have looked  _ really _ doubtful, because Kimberly climbed to her knees and crossed the bed to get into Trini’s face.

“ _ Yes _ , I’m bisexual. Would you like to quiz me?”

“On...what?”

“...I don’t know,” Kimberly admitted. “Because I’ve never been with a girl, but yeah, sometimes I fantasize. Sometimes I really,  _ really _ enjoy fantasizing about it. I can’t tell  _ my _ girls, though? Because they don’t get it. To them...it’s about mind games. And the last thing I need is for them to have one more idea of how to get me down. But, yes, Trini Gomez, I’m bisexual, and I really thought you, of all people, would understand it.” 

In a moment of perfect timing, the doorbell rang. Kimberly got off the bed and walked from the room silently. Trini facepalmed and sat on the edge of the bed before quickly jumping up. She didn’t want to dirty it with her precious greaser ass. She rubbed her forehead and drained her glass empty, counting to herself in her head. The last thing she had wanted to do was insult Kimberly, but she had been wondering. Maybe not stupid enough to think there was something between them, but...wondering all the same. And the only reason she had sounded so judgemental was...well, her track record sucked. What chances of real, honest representation was there in her small town in addition to herself and Z?

“If we’re going to be friends and you can’t-” At the sound of Kimberly’s voice returning, Trini spun around and faced the taller girl who stood there with a pizza box.

“I’m sorry,” she said quickly. Possibly the quickest she had ever apologized in her life. “I misjudged you and I shouldn’t’ve. I’m really sorry.” Her heart was racing. She was starting to panic that she had just screwed the entire situation up, whatever the situation was. All because of her big mouth, the one that always thought it knew better than everyone else. She placed a hand to the bed to keep herself on her feet and gulped in air. Kimberly soon appeared at her side, setting the pizza on the bed, and rubbed her back.

“Okay, okay, jeez, I’ll forgive you. Just breathe again.” It sounded like an attempt at humor, but Trini couldn’t laugh. “Trini, really...it’s okay. Will you sit down?”

Trini sat on the floor and continued to try to breathe deeply. Kim sat, wrapped her arms around Trini and hugged her tightly. “S-sorry,” Trini gasped.

“And we can talk it out and you can explain yourself, but first you need to breathe. Can you do that? For me?”

With a nod, Trini closed her eyes. She focused on the tight feel of Kimberly’s arms around her, and in time her breathing caught up to her. Kimberly’s forehead was pressed to the side of Trini’s, and she kissed her cheek softly. “I’m good,” Trini whispered.

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

Kimberly dropped her arms, but didn’t move away. Just stared at Trini. “What you implied was hurtful.”

“I know,” Trini nodded. “And I’m really sorry. I’m just...like, I know it sounds like an ego check, but I’m used to girls wantin’ me to think they’re bi so I’ll give ‘em what the guys can’t.”

“Also biphobic. No one person can give any other person the same thing or any other kind of ‘different’ than isn’t already inherently there.”

“Wow. For an inexperienced bi, you know what you’re talkin’ ‘bout.”

“I have a lot of time to read about it. I had a lot of confusion to read about, too. And I would never fake my sexuality to get anything out of anyone.”

“I’m...kinda learnin’ that about you.” And maybe learning that Kimberly Hart was perfect. There was that. Even so, that low strung feel of hate still ran through Trini’s skin. It had been there the entire night, and it had been there the whole time she’d been getting to know Kimberly. She couldn’t turn it off. It was like everyone said it was, like they were born with it. She wasn’t sure if it’d ever truly go away. And where would that leave them? “So...if you’re all read up on this shit and whatever, how can you go ‘round behind me with your friends writin’ ‘dyke’ on my locker?” The question came out with a harder edge than Trini intended, but she was still bitter about it, sue her.

Kim sighed and looked away. “Because...making your life hell was easier than admitting to them I’m even more different than they think.”

“Wow.”

“I haven’t since we started talking. I wouldn’t.”

“You sure about that?”

“I’d like to think I wouldn’t,” Kim amended. “But you know...what things are like between our groups. You know how I have to act.”

“Yeah…” Trini sighed. “I know.”

After a beat of silence, Kim spoke up. “How about I get you another drink? And you get comfortable on my bed?” She stood up. “It won’t bite.”

“Yeah, but...I might. Greaser an’ all,” Trini said, feeling sheepish as she got to her feet.

“”Don’t be stupid,” Kimberly said, a little sharp. “Take your boots off, sit down, start eating. I’ll be back.” She picked up Trini’s glass as well as her own and headed out of the room.

“Okay…” Trini said quietly to the empty room.

* * *

Kim was laughing, leaned halfway across the bed while holding the bottle of gin to keep it from spilling onto the quilt. “Oh my god! I can’t believe you did that!”

Trini smirked and grabbed the bottle away to take a sip. “He was bein’ mean to me. I wasn’t ‘bout to let him get away with it,” Trini explained.

“Honestly, Jase probably deserved it.”

“He definitely deserved it. I don’t care if we were nine.”

“Okay, okay, my turn. I pick truth.”

“You always pick truth,” Trini said with an eyeroll. “No balls.”

“No, I don’t have any balls,” Kim agreed. 

With a slight blush, Trini shook her head. “Okay. Truth. Um…” She thought about her question for a moment. “What happens if you don’t marry Ty?”

Kimberly huffed and laid back on her back to stare at the ceiling. “My parents could cut me off,” she said. “Or...I go away to college and meet some other guy to marry. Those are really my only two options.”

Trini frowned. “I just don’t get why you’d...take that kinda ultimatum.”

“Because without my parents’ support or paying my way through school...I have nothing. I don’t have relatives to stay with, I don’t have any kind of savings aside from the one my parents made for me.”

“What about goin’ to school and not findin’ a husband?”

Kim smiled sadly. “It doesn’t work that way.” She sat up quickly and took the bottle back from Trini. “Truth or Dare?”

“Dare,” Trini said, just as she had every time before. Kim groaned. “What?”

“I  _ dare you _ to tell me one thing about you that hardly anyone knows.”

“That’s the same as a truth.”

“But I dare you,” Kim said, eyes sparkling.

Trini was never one to back off a dare so she shrugged. “Fine.” She thought for a while about something to tell, something that wouldn’t be too big, then pulled out her ancient flip phone. “Here,” she said. Her hand shook a little, but she opened it up and scrolled through her pictures. “It’s kinda a small picture, but here.” She handed Kim her phone. Kim took it and leaned over the screen, peering close at the small screen.

“Is that a motorcycle?”

“Yeah,” Trini breathed. “It’s mine. My Tío helps me with it sometimes, but mostly I’m building it myself.”

Kim looked up at Trini, mouth gaped. “You’re... _ building  _ a  _ motorcycle _ ?”

Trini shrugged. “YouTube is awesome, and the library. It’s different than workin’ on cars, but not too different. And it’s the only way I’ll get one in this lifetime.”

“Does it ride?”

“Not yet,” Trini shook her head. 

“I want a ride.”

“We’ll see about that, Princess,” Trini chuckled. She reached to take her phone back, but Kimberly kept it out of her reach. 

“What  _ is _ this phone, anyway?”

“Pay by the minute,” Trini huffed, trying to get it. Kim hummed and started typing on it. “What’re you doin’?” Kim smirked and held it out after a minute.

“Added myself. So...any time you want to talk or text...we can.”

“And when your parents see a greaser number on your bill?”

“They don’t look that closely, and they won’t know. You worry too much.”

“You don’t worry enough.”

“I want to be able to be in touch with you,” Kimberly said. “Is that so bad?” Her head tilted and she gazed at Trini, and Trini stared back, her heart doing palpitations. 

“We have to be careful, Kim.”

“I’m being careful. Are you?”

Trini bit her lip and her eyes fell to Kim’s. She was being careful. Really careful. She shook her head and took a long sip of the gin. “Whose turn is it?”

“Truth,” Kim said.

“You said before...how you’re different than them. What does that mean?”

“Well,” Kim shrugged. “In that I don’t get the class warfare. And I’m bi. Oh, I think what I meant is I have ADHD, and I take medication for it. My friends know about it, I don’t hide it, but I guess because of that they just think I’m different than they are. These days, who doesn’t have ADHD, right?”

“My brother, Javier does,” Trini nodded. “School hard for you like it is him?”

“No, I’m pretty good at school. I just learn differently. I have a hard time concentrating when I’m supposed to.”

“Do you like how the medication helps?”

“Yeah. It took some tweaking, but they’re really good where they are now.”

“Good.”

“Truth or dare?” Kim asked.

“Dare.”

“I dare you...to flash me,” Kimberly said, eyes sparkling.

“What? Hell no.”

“Are you scared to let me see your bra?”

“Ain’t scared of nothin’,” Trini huffed. She shook her head and dropped her hands to the lower hem of her shirt before lifting it above her head. She just as quickly dropped it and smoothed it out, feeling awkward. “Enjoy that?”

“Yeah...I did,” Kimberly laughed.

“Who now?” Trini tried to starve off the burning in her cheeks.

“Mine. Dare.”

“Dare, huh?” Trini raised a brow. 

“Yeah, dare.”

Trini licked her lips. “I dare you to smoke a joint with me.”

“Okay.”

With a grin, Trini pulled the tin from her jacket pocket where it lay across the bed and took it out to begin rolling one. “Don’t worry, they won’t know we were smokin’ it.”

“Do I look worried?”

Trini met Kim’s gaze and brought the joint up to lick it sealed. She may have imagined the flare in Kim’s nostrils. She probably did. She got her lighter out and lit the joint. She took a long inhale before passing it off to Kim. “Tell me if it hits you too hard or anythin’.”

“Okay.” She watched Kimberly inhale and hold the smoke in before letting it go. She took the joint back and brought it to her lips. “Truth or dare?” Kim asked.

“Dare.”

Trini watched Kim think about it deeply. She sat, knees to knees, with Trini and stared at her. She took the joint from Trini and took a long inhale, letting it out. “I dare you...to tell me one thing you’re scared of.”

“You can’t keep trickin’ me into gettin’ truths.”

“A dare is a dare,” Kim said.

“Fine, fine…” Trini shook her head. “One thing that scares me... promise you won’t laugh?”

“I swear,” Kim nodded, eyes wide and honest.

Trini nodded back and glanced down. “I’ve always had this thing with fireworks. If they’re like...far away, like soc fireworks, I’m good. But closer?” She shook her head. “They terrify me. Not even the booms. Those are fine. But, like, the falling embers or whatever? Always used to be afraid they’d kill me. Guess it still kinda does.”

Kim smiled softly and reached out to squeeze Trini’s hand. “Aww, I’d protect you from the big, bad fireworks.”

“Thanks.” Trini took the joint and took a long drag from it. “Kay, truth or dare, Princess?” 

“Truth,” Kim replied.

“Tell me one thing that scares you,” Trini said softly.

With a glance up, Kim met Trini’s eyes. Their gazes held for several beats, so much seemingly hidden in Kim’s brown eyes, and she finally spoke. “You,” she answered simply.

“Me?” Trini frowned. She had thought they were passed that. She had really thought that Kim knew her by then, at least a little. She opened her mouth to protest, but Kim cut her off.

“You terrify me, Trini. There’s this...feeling I get in my chest around you, and...I’ve never had it before.” Desperate to know what that meant, but too afraid to ask, Trini just stared at Kim wordlessly. “And you’re intimidating. You’re probably the, no, you  _ are _ the coolest person I know. That’s a lot to take in.”

Trini was still trying to catch up to the conversation. She mouthed wordlessly and took more pot into her lungs to give herself something to do. “So…” she coughed out. 

“You asked,” Kim said.

“Yeah...I did.” Trini nodded. She gave Kim the joint and took the gin to take a large gulp. She didn’t want to ask any more. She did, but she didn’t. Instead, she cleared her throat. “My turn. Unless...you wanna stop playin’?”

“No...I’ve got one more. Truth or dare, Trini?”

“Dare.”

Kimberly smirked and tilted her head, staring deep into Trini’s eyes on a level that made a shiver hit Trini’s spine. “I dare you to kiss me,” Kim said softly, thickly. Trini’s heart jumped into her throat and her eyes went wide.

“Wh-what?”

“You heard me.”

“Kimberly…”

“What?”

“I can’t…” She shook her head and angled her body away from Kim’s.

“Why not? It’s a dare.”

“Because. You have a boyfriend, for one.”

“And?”

“And...you’re a soc,” Trini added, trying to put more bite in her tone. Tried to sound more offended by the idea than she actually was. She wasn’t offended. She was intrigued. Desperately. It was all she could do not to stare at Kim’s lips at the offer.

“And?”

“And aren’t those enough?” Trini threw the joint in the empty glass of ice by Kim’s bed. “What the hell’s wrong with you?”

“Trini…”

“I gotta go.” Trini got to her feet and bent down for her boots.

“No. You’re staying.” Kim got off the bed beside Trini and took her hand. “I’m sorry, okay?”

“Is this all some kinda game to you?”

“What? No, Trini, it’s not a game.”

Trini wasn’t so sure. She stood up, boots forgotten, and she ran her hands back through her hair. She felt super disconnected from herself, thanks to the pot and gin. She knew she was best off staying put as it was, plus she didn’t even want to leave. Just...to get out of the conversation.

Did she want to kiss Kimberly? Of  _ course _ she did. It was all she thought about sometimes. But they couldn’t. Kimberly didn’t even want to, she was just playing a game. That’s all it was. That’s all it could be.

“I gotta pee,” she said. She walked into Kim’s bathroom and shut the door. She stared at herself in the mirror, cheeks red and flushed, and turned to use the toilet. After she washed her hands she ran water over her face and dried it on Kim’s plush pink towel. It was the softest towel Trini had ever touched. She groaned into it softly before leaving the room. She found Kim sprawled sideways across the bed. “Hey,” she said.

“You know, if you wanna take a shower I can lend you some stuff to wear,” Kim offered.

“Do you...want me to?” Trini frowned. Sure, it had been a couple days since her last one, but she didn’t think she was that dirty.

“I didn’t mean it like that.” Kim rolled her eyes. “Just...I know some people like a shower at night to relax. If you wanna take one, it’s okay.”

Trini considered it. When would she have another chance to use a fancy soc shower? And, she was self conscious about sleeping in Kim’s sheets. “Got anything not pink for me to wear?”

“I think I can find something. There’s a spare towel behind the door. I’ll drop something in for you to wear while you’re in the shower.”

“Okay…” Trini said uncertainly. “No looking.”

“I may be a bisexual disaster,” Kimberly said, sitting up. “But I’m no perv. I only look when I’m given permission.”

“Oh...okay…” Trini blushed and turned back into the bathroom to push the door shut behind herself. She leaned back against it, eyes closed, and let herself think about giving Kim permission. That definitely made her need at least a cold shower. She walked over and pulled the curtain back on the shower then started it with some hot water. She liked her showers hot, and the water in her own house never got hot enough. She looked around at all the things in the shower and tried to figure out what to use where, then stripped her clothes off and climbed in.

The water felt glorious. It was hot like the water at school, but relaxing because she  _ wasn’t _ at school. At school, she had to constantly fear someone behind her back. In Kim’s shower though, she could just enjoy it. She felt the air pressure change in the room as the door opened.

“Clothes are out here,” Kim called out to her, before shutting the door again.

Trini picked up Kim’s shampoo and slathered it through her hair. It smelled amazing. A scent that hit Trini low in the gut. She continued her shower. She soaped herself up, used conditioner, used some kind of in-shower lotion, and at long last turned off the water. She wrapped the towel around herself and stepped out. She could feel the steam radiating off of her body, and her skin was red. Just as she liked it. She dried off and went to pick up the clothes Kim had left for her. Black yoga pants that looked a couple inches long, and a yellow top. She pulled both on and bent down to fold her dirty clothes to change into the next morning. She exited the bathroom, smoke billowing out around her. Kim looked up, and Trini watched her eyes darken.

“Sorry...I took so long…” Trini shrugged. She crossed her arms uncomfortably.

“No…” It seemed to take Kim a moment to find her voice. “It’s okay. Do you feel better?”

“Yeah...actually, I do.”

“Good. Come on. We can watch a movie if you want?”

Trini walked over and climbed up onto the bed beside Kim. “Sure.”

Kim sat up beside Trini. “You...smell like me. It’s odd.”

“It smells nice,” Trini complimented lamely.

“Yes, you do.”

Trini flushed and looked at her knees. “So...what did you wanna watch?”

“Have you ever seen  _ Imagine Me & You _ ?”

“No. What’s it about?” 

“You’ll see.” Kimberly picked up her laptop and opened it up. Trini curled up against one of the pillows and waited. When she got the movie playing, Kim moved up beside Trini and placed it between them, and they settled in to watch.

* * *

“So, uh...that was, uh, good,” Trini managed to get out, rubbing her eyes.

“It’s one of my favorites.”

“You coulda told me it was gay.”

“I thought you’d figure it out.” Kim looked up at Trini from her pillow with a smile.

“Lucky for you, I’m smart,” Trini countered.

“I know you are.” Kim moved her laptop over to her desk and came back to the bed. “Should we sleep?”

“Probably. How early I gotta be out?”

“Before eight,” Kim answered, pulling back the blankets to climb into bed. Trini got up.

“If you throw me a blanket, I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“No. My bed is big enough to share.”

“You sure?”

“Yes. Get in.” Kim pointed to the pillow Trini had been laying on.

“What makes you think I’ll do what you say?”

“Because you will.”

Trini was tempted to argue on the basics of it all, but she sighed and got into the bed. She was too tired. She slid under the blankets and wrapped her arm under her head as Kim turned off the lamp. Trini stared up at the dark ceiling and tried to relax. It was hard, so close to Kim as she was. She felt weird. Comfortable. A kind of comfortable that she hadn’t previously felt around Kim. Like they were actually friends. Like she could maybe let her guard down. She knew better than that though.

“Goodnight, Trini.”

“Night, Kim.”

“Can I put my arm around you?”

“Oh...uh...I guess so,” Trini said, her body stiffening. She felt Kimberly move beside her and wrap her arm around her waist tightly. Trini moved the arm from behind her head and turned on her side, her back to Kim, and Kim settled in closer. It felt...strange. But good. Really good. Trini closed her eyes and let the tiredness of her day take over. Just as she started to feel sleep pull her, she felt the hair on the back of her neck move aside, and Kim’s lips pressed to the skin of Trini’s shoulder and held there. Trini’s breath came out a bit ragged. Her heart pounded suddenly, and she tried to calm it.

She couldn’t deny the shivers all down her back and over her skin. She was sure Kim would see goosebumps if she looked close enough. Hopefully, she wouldn’t. Kim’s lips didn’t move from Trini’s shoulder for a long time, and Trini felt words clogging up her throat. Questions. Fears. They couldn’t just...be friends, could they? Not when Kim made Trini’s head so clouded. 

“Kim…” Trini rasped out, softly. All she heard in return was a soft snore.


	6. don't underestimate the importance of body language

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from Poor Unfortunate Souls from The Little Mermaid, as sung by China Anne McClaine. It's a really great cover and you should listen to it.
> 
> This was gonna be twice the length, but instead you'll get two chapters back to back relatively quickly. Gotta pace it right after all. I think for the most part this is a fun little chapter. Tell me what you think!

_"take a gulp and take a breath_   
_and go ahead and sign the scroll"_

* * *

**PRINCESS:** what r u doing 2nite?  
**GRUMPY:** Got a party.  
**PRINCESS:** On a school nite?  
**GRUMPY:** Yep. Gonna turn me in?  
**PRINCESS:** i want 2 come  
**GRUMPY:** How you expect that to work?  
**PRINCESS:** if u want me 2 u’ll figure something out  
**GRUMPY:** Give me a minute.  
**GRUMPY:** Meet me at our spot tonight at 8. Bring a pair of jeans you don’t mind trashing.  
**PRINCESS:** [thumbs up emoji]  
**GRUMPY: **And put makeup over your lip will you?

It was the night after she had spent at Kim’s, and Trini ate a bit of dinner with her family before sneaking out for the night. She packed a bag with one of her bigger, grease-stained shirts and a couple other items, then she put on some tight but holey jeans and a tight black shirt. She braided her hair over her shoulder and grabbed the bag before sneaking out. Not that her family would have cared, but she was used to doing it. She walked out to the mines and through the woods to the clearing where she always met Kim, and she lit a cigarette as she waited. She was halfway through when she heard a voice come up behind her.

“I hope you plan to quit those one day.”

“Maybe,” Trini said, lifting a shoulder. She looked Kim over. She was wearing her usual skirt and top combo, and Trini smirked. “You definitely gotta change. Here.” She handed Kim her bag. “There’s some stuff in here for you to put on. Got those jeans?” Kim handed her a pair of jeans from under her arm and Trini looked at them. They looked more expensive than Trini’s entire wardrobe. “What’m ‘bout to do can’t be fixed. You sure about this?”

“Yeah. I want to see your life.”

Trini was hesitant. She didn’t know if she could really take Kim somewhere with her people and the girl not be recognized, but she was willing to try. For Kim. She took the jeans and took out her knife and tore some holes in the knees and legs. Then she dropped them in the dirt and stomped on them with her boots, really grinding the dirt in. Kim watched with an open mouth. “You wanted this,” Trini reminded her.

“I do,” Kim agreed. Trini bent down and picked up the jeans and handed them to Kim.

“What shoes did you wear?” She looked down and saw nice, expensive boots on Kim’s feet. “...maybe no one will notice.”

“I didn’t have anything else that wasn’t super obviously name brand.”

“It’s okay. Just know...if someone catches you, I don’t know you.”

“Ouch. No ride or die?”

Trini snorted. “Not in this town.”

Kim took the jeans and the bag and disappeared into the bushes. “You really think this will work?”

Trini nudged the toe of her boot into the dirt and waited. “Hope so. Though, you might get bored at our party.”

“I doubt that.” After a couple more minutes, Kim came out from behind the bushes. “Well?”

Trini looked Kim over and gulped. The soc looked..._ good _. Really good. If one looked too closely, they could probably tell that the jeans weren’t naturally beat up, but not too closely. And as Trini had never seen Kim in jeans before -- and it was a beautiful sight -- she let herself stare for a moment. She couldn’t wait to see the view from behind. The shirt Kimberly wore was white with grease stains and wrinkles, and she wore a black and yellow snapback on her head. The mole over her lip was covered up and faint, and Trini missed it. She smirked and reached up to turn the hat around, bill facing backwards, then took a pair of cheap, plastic sunglasses from her back pocket and placed them over Kim’s face.

“I can’t really see now.”

“Sure, you can,” Trini replied. “Wait.” She reached into the bag Kim still held and took out some hair wax she had borrowed from her brothers. She took the hat off Kim’s head and spread some of the wax through Kim’s short locks. She made it look messy and greasy then put the hat back on her head. “Okay.” She took a step back and looked Kim over again. “I, uh...think that’s good, yeah,” she squeaked out.

“I look like a...one of you?”

“You can say greaser,” Trini said. “It’s what we are.”

“I don’t like thinking of us that way. Greaser and soc.”

“I know, but its what we are. Better to face it than try to be politically correct,” Trini said.

“Okay, okay.” Kimberly nodded. “I’ll remember that.”

“Good. Now, if anyone asks, your name is Rachel and you’re my new neighbor.”

“They’ll believe that?”

“Most people will be more worried about partyin’ than if your story checks. If you look the part, they’ll accept it.”

“Okay,” Kim nodded.

“If Rocky offers you a special party elixir, say no. It’s gonna have like five kinds of liquor in it with a splash of Coke and a Xanax, and it _ will _ make you sick. If anyone offers you anythin’ but pot, say no. I’m assumin’ you haven’t done anythin’ else before, and a greaser party ain’t where you need to try any of it for the first time.”

“Okay, Trini. I can handle it.”

“Oh, I know you can,” Trini said. 

“So let’s go?”

“Yeah...yeah, let’s go,” Trini nodded. Her heartbeat started to pound as she led Kim out of the woods and past the empty campfire. It felt weird to have Kim beside her, but it was also exciting. She hadn’t realized that she even wanted Kim to see her side of the world until that moment. It took them some time to get down the southside to Rocky’s cousin’s house, but the party was in full swing when they walked up. People milled about in the front yard, and Trini could hear her heart between her ears as they walked up.

“Yo, T!” Zack called out from the front porch.

“Yo,” she called back. She climbed the steps and shook Zack’s hand in a special shake when he held it out, and she watched him check Kim out. Jealousy flared through her. “This is Rachel. Just moved in beside me.”

“Well, hello Rachel,” Zack said, a smile spread on his lips. He shook her hand too, more formally.

“Nice to meet you,” Kim said to Zack, shaking his hand back.

“What made your parents wanna move _ here _?” He asked.

“My dad needed a job,” Kim answered smoothly.

“B here?” Trini asked, breaking up the conversation before Zack could ask much more.

“Nah, he’s stayin’ home tonight,” Zack said. He then got pulled away by one of their friends, and Trini sighed a breath of relief.

“Just...try to avoid that question if you can,” Trini murmured to Kim. “Not many people move _ into _ greaser neighborhoods from outside town.”

“Relax, Trini.”

She tried, but it wasn’t easy. She was super paranoid that someone would figure them out. She took Kimberly by the wrist and tugged her inside and into the kitchen. A drink would help. “Want somethin’?”

“Yeah, Jack and Coke?”

Trini nodded and poured two before handing one to Kim. They clinked their cheap clear cups and drank. “You doin’ okay?”

“I’m fine.” Kim stepped forward against Trini and backed her into the counter. Trini grulped and stared up at her. “Let’s just have a drink and dance.”

“I can do that,” Trini nodded.

“Trinityyy!” Z wandered into the kitchen, cup in her own hand, and glanced between Kim and Trini. “Who’s this?” She had a knowing smirk on her lips, one that didn’t speak any jealousy.

“Oh my god, what have I said about callin’ me that in public??” Trini regretted letting Z into her home to learn her full name. She waved between the two girls. “Z, this is Rachel. Rachel, Z.”

A knowing look crossed Kim’s features and she stared at Z in what Trini could really only admit was jealousy. She tried to push it away though, explain it away. Z was just one of her closest friends and Kim knew that. “It’s, uh, nice to meet you,” Kim said, stepping away from Trini to hold her hand out.

Z looked down at Kim’s extended hand before glancing up at her. “Right.” Kim dropped her hand a bit awkwardly. “You new?”

“Just moved,” Kim said.

“Just moved?” Z raised a brow, looking suspicious. “Here?”

“Her dad knows my Tío,” Trini quickly supplied. “Gave ‘im a job when he needed one.”

“Hope you’re prepared for the next couple years of your life to suck,” Z replied, shrugging a shoulder. She moved past Kim to the counter to refill her cup.

“I heard it’s rough,” Kim said.

“Understatement,” Z laughed. She sipped from her cup. “Anyway, welcome and all that. Sorry. We don’t get a lotta new people.”

“It’s cool,” Kim nodded. “From what I hear, you can’t be too careful around here.”

“See you ladies out there,” Z said. She turned and left the kitchen. 

Kim faced Trini. “So...that’s Z.”

“Yeah, but you knew that.”

“I’ve never really talked to her before though. She seems...nice.”

“She is,” Trini said, eyeing Kim. She wasn’t sure if Kim meant what she said, and Trini was nothing if not protective of her people. Especially Z. Kim’s fingers fell to Trini’s stomach and she scratched it slightly. Trini felt her tummy flip.

“Let’s dance,” Kim said. She knocked back her drink and refilled it. Trini did the same and held out her cup, and Kim refilled hers as well.

“Okay. Let’s dance.”

They walked out into the living room where the speakers were playing music loudly and people were dancing and talking. Kim grabbed onto the belt loop of Trini’s jeans with her free hand and stepped close before starting to move her hips to the music. Trini started to dance along, eyes drawn up to Kimberly’s face, and she swallowed. She was already warm having Kim that close, looking at her like that. Looking at her like she wanted to...devour her.

Trini knew about flirting. She knew about wanting. She was familiar with the pull between two people, but never had it felt like it did then. Like there was a ball of heat pressing between their moving hips keeping them apart. Trini wanted to look into Kim’s eyes, but knew the importance of Kim keeping the sunglasses on. Instead, she watched the lines on Kim’s face. Watched her bottom lip pull between her teeth. Kim’s mouth still looked so weird without the mark above her lip. Trini realized how sealed into her memory Kim’s mouth was.

Realistically, Trini couldn’t deny the feeling between them. She couldn’t deny the mutual want that seemed to radiate there. But she could be stubborn. She could tell herself she was imagining it and that Kim didn’t want her like she wanted Kim. How could she? Trini was just a greaser. She wasn’t anyone. 

But wasn’t she? When Kim looked down at her like she was looking at her? Didn’t it make her the most important person in the world when Kim’s entire focus was on her? How could she not be?

And then Kim had a leg on either side of Trini’s hip, and she was moving against Trini in a way that definitely wasn’t friends. Trini grabbed onto Kim’s shirt to hold on and keep herself upright. Heat bloomed through her stomach at how Kim danced against her, and she couldn’t help but move her hips in time. It felt too good. Anyone else and she’d be excusing herself with them to the bathroom or a bedroom, but it was Kim and she couldn’t. Kim was her friend. Kim had a boyfriend. Kim wasn’t the girl she currently appeared to be.

That thought sobered Trini. She pulled away and walked off. She made a beeline for the back door and went outside. She found her way to an old deck chair and sat down, pulling out her cigarettes. As she lit one up, Kim came through the door and stood in front of her.

“What was that?” Kim asked.

“You can’t dance with me like that.”

“Why not? You don’t like it?”

Trini exhaled the smoke and avoided looking at Kim. “It’s not whether I like it or not.” But she did. God, did she.

“Then what is it?”

“You have a boyfriend.”

“Technically.”

Trini rolled her eyes. “Technically? What’s that mean?”

“It means...I’m not in love with him or anything.”

“But you’re still with him.”

“And I probably always will be,” Kim argued.

“Right.”

“And?” Kim crossed her arms.

“And...someone with a boyfriend, borderline fiancee, shouldn’t dance with me like that. It’s like...you’re using my attraction to girls against me.”

“That’s not what I was doing, Trini.” Kim stepped closer.

“Ain’t it?”

“No.” Kim reached down and took Trini’s cigarette and dropped it to the deck, putting it out with her shoe. She crouched down in front of Trini and took her hands in her own. “I like being around you. I like dancing with you. I like...not thinking about Ty when I’m with you, because he doesn’t make me feel like you make me feel, and I have a lifetime of _ him _ to look forward to.”

Trini frowned without looking up. “How’s’at?”

“How you make me feel? Like all I ever think about is kissing you.”

Swallowing thickly, Trini kept her gaze down. “I see.”

“When I’m with you, when I’m not, when I see you at school...I think about how badly I want to kiss you. And I think about how I can’t and it breaks my heart.”

“...you think about that?”

“I do.”

Trini gnawed on her lip and nodded. She let the silence beat between them for a few moments before opening her mouth. “Me too,” she whispered in a small voice. It was terrifying to admit, and she hadn’t even completely admitted it to herself until that moment, but it was true. It was all she thought about. Her eyes drifted to Kim’s lips, and she watched Kim lift the sunglasses above her head so she met her eyes. Kim’s eyes stared back at her with honesty and desire in them, and Trini saw that she was telling the truth. “We can’t,” Trini added. 

“I know,” Kimberly replied. “But you needed to know.” She squeezed Trini’s hands. Trini stared into Kim’s eyes a moment longer before reaching up and pulling the sunglasses down into place.

“If you weren’t with him...I’d kiss you right now,” Trini told her. “Don’t give a damn who we are.”

“God, I’d like that,” Kim sighed.

Trini heard a familiar tune start up inside, and she smirked. “Come on. You can’t miss this.” She got up and tugged Kim by the hand to go back inside and into the living room. The current song was blasting louder than the others had been, and everyone was inside jumping around and singing along to it.

“Is this...from _ The Little Mermaid _?” Kim asked in a disbelieving smile.

“_Poor Unfortunate Souls _cover,” Trini nodded. “Kinda our jam. We figure...it’s what everyone thinks about us, why not enjoy it?” She grinned and started jumping up and down to the song, singing along at the top of her lungs. “_And dear lady, please don't laugh, I use it on behalf of the miserable, the lonely, and depressed…_” She was happy to see Kim soon join in on the fun, and Trini laughed as they jumped together and sang. As always, the swelling of singing around her made Trini feel warm and happy. It felt familiar and good. Especially having Kimberly there with her.

When the song ended, they stilled, still laughing. Trini looked down at her cup and saw most of it had sloshed out. “Want more?” She shouted over the music. She pointed at Kim’s cup. Kim looked down into it and nodded, and Trini led the way back into the kitchen. Kim kept close to Trini’s back and crashed into her when Trini stopped. They both giggled.

“Same thing?” Trini asked.

“Yeah,” Kim replied.

Trini took Kim’s cup and poured two drinks out, then handed one back. “So what do you think of our parties so far?”

“More fun, definitely,” Kim nodded, taking a sip from her cup.

“Good answer.” Trini drank from her own cup and met Kim’s gaze.

“Do I get to meet anyone else or are you keeping me to yourself all night?”

“Haven’t decided.”

“Do you want to dance some more?”

“Haven’t decided,” Trini answered, smirking.

“Do you...want to find a room?” Without seeing Kim’s eyes, Trini couldn’t tell if that was as easy for Kim to say as it had sounded.

“Probably...shouldn’t,” she said. Though she really did want to.

“Then let’s dance. I promise my hands will behave.”

“They’d better, Princess,” Trini warned, pointing.

* * *

It was nearly midnight when the two girls stumbled back towards the mines with their two cups of drinks to go. They talked and laughed the whole way, unabashed in how they acted together along the way. Eventually, they found their way back to the clearing in the woods, and they sat down on the large rock overlooking the water, laughing.

“I think I’m drunk,” Kim admitted.

“Me too,” Trini said. She took out a cigarette and put it between her lips without lighting it up.

“Eww, please don’t,” Kim begged, taking the cigarette from Trini’s mouth.

“Kay,” Trini agreed easily. She put it back in the pack and stared at Kim. “Only if you take these off.” She took off the sunglasses and hat and ran her fingers through Kim’s waxy hair.

“Look, there you are,” Kim said brightly. Trini laughed and let her fingers tangle in the ends of Kim’s hair. “Hi,” Kim whispered.

“Hey,” Trini replied.

“I really had fun as Rachel tonight. I wish we could do that again as Trini and Kim.”

“Me too,” Trini nodded. “But we can’t.”

“Yeah…” Kim’s gaze fell to her hands, and Trini frowned.

“We’re still friends though.”

“I don’t want to be friends!” Kim all but shouted at her as she looked up.

“What?”

Kim looked surprised by her own words, but she went on. “I want to kiss you, and hold your hand, and be _ yours _.”

“Kimberly…”

“Don’t do that. Don’t say my name like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you understand something I don’t. I get it, I do. It’s...still what I want.”

“You barely know me.”

“I know enough.”

Trini sighed and dropped her hand from Kim’s hair. “I just...don’t see the point in talkin’ ‘bout what can’t be.”

“The point is, I want to be honest with you.”

“I…” Trini paused. She couldn’t say it. What she’d said before, about wanting to kiss Kim, that had been enough. She couldn’t say more. “I don’t,” she said thickly.

“Oh.”

“I’m sorry.”

Kim was quiet for a moment before clearing her throat. “I brought a couple blankets. Will you stay out here with me tonight?”

“Yeah, sure,” Trini nodded. Kim got up and went into the bushes for a trash bag that Trini hadn’t seen her bring. She pulled out two blankets and a pillow and threw them across the rock. Both girls took off their boots and crawled between the blankets together to lay on their sides facing one another. Trini smiled shyly and looked away from Kim’s piercing stare. “You had fun?”

“I already told you I did,” Kim said, reaching out to Trini’s hip. “Felt like a proper greaser.”

“Except you’re not.”

Kim sighed and didn’t say anything for a moment. Then she changed the subject. “Do you think Z minded me taking up all your time?”

“Nah, she gets it. Go to a party with a pretty girl, just wanna be with her.”

That made Kim smile. “So you don’t think she was jealous?”

“We don’t get jealous,” Trini shrugged. “It’s not like that.”

“I’d be jealous if I were her.” Kim laughed softly. “...I was.”

“You were jealous?”

“Crazy.”

Trini felt her cheeks redden. “Well, me and Z...we’re just...super tight friends.”

“See, logically I know that, but illogically, she’s still the girl you sleep with. The one who gets to kiss you and see you naked. So. Yeah. Jealous. Crazy jealous.”

“I haven’t slept with her in awhile,” Trini admitted, reaching out to tug a little on Kim’s shirt. “Haven’t wanted to be with anyone else.”

“Really?”

“Really, Kim.” 

Kim beamed and leaned in, their noses brushing. Trini’s breath caught in her throat and she froze. Kim didn’t move any closer. They lay there, mouths inches apart, for several moments before pulling away from each other. Trini cleared her throat and reached into her boot for her knife to open up and swing shut again and again. Kim watched in fascination.

“How do you do that?”

“This?” Trini continued flicking the blade open and shut. “Practice.”

“Teach me?”

Trini snorted. “So you can chop a finger off? Nah.”

“Come on, Trini,” Kim said. She caught Trini’s wrist and held it still. “Teach me.”

“Okay,” Trini sighed. “Use your wrist, okay?” She handed Kim the knife and put her own thumb over the release. “That’s how it opens. Swing it open, then swing it shut. Just make sure your hand is tucked...like this,” she said, positioning the knife in Kim’s grip right. “And keep your fingers in when you close it.” She watched Kim experimentally try one swipe closed. Kim grinned to herself when it closed without nicking her. “Good,” Trini nodded. “Now try openin’ it.”

Kim did, a bit jerkily, and closed it. “Like that?”

“Yeah, good job,” Trini replied. She lay there and watched Kim flick it back and forth a few times, slowly but steadily. She admired Kim’s face, the determination on it, and watched. “So...you didn’t think the party was trashy or anythin’?”

Kim looked up, knife stilling. “No. Not at all.”

“Okay,” Trini nodded. Kim stared at her, folding the knife up and placing it between them. “m’glad you came,” Trini said softly.

“I’m glad we hung out most of the weekend.”

“Me too.”

“I don’t want to go back to school tomorrow. Back to...not knowing you.”

“Well, you could not, if you wanna be completely disowned and ridiculed.”

Kim sighed, her face serious as though she considered it. “I’m not so sure my honor and integrity is worth more than knowing you.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Why don’t you ever believe what I say to you?”

“‘cuz you say some real stupid shit,” Trini replied sharply. “You gotta get into college, and you gotta have your parents money. I sure as hell can’t support you.”

“What are your plans after high school? Will you work at your Tío’s shop?”

Trini sighed. “Plan is to get out with Zack and Billy. Leave town, don’t look back. But...y’know, I’m not sure we will. They both got their moms here. They won’t wanna go. And I’m not gonna have any money to go anywhere by myself.”

“You could still get out,” Kim assured her. “Even if you leave without Billy and Zack. You’d need, what to start out, a couple grand?”

“Only a couple grand,” Trini mocked. She rolled her eyes.

“I didn’t...I didn’t mean anything by that. How much do you have now?”

“Not enough,” Trini said, shaking her head. “I keep thinkin’ I got some saved up, but then my family needs it. Javi needs his meds, or they got a field trip...it’s always somethin’.”

“What if I gave you a lo-”

“No,” Trini said sharply.

“You can pay me back. With interest, if you want. I trust you.”

“No,” Trini said, her voice stronger.

“Okay. Forget I mentioned it.”

“Forgotten.” Trini reached down to pick up her knife, and Kim dropped her hand to wrap around Trini’s. They stilled and lay there quietly, both staring at their hands. 

“I should...set an alarm,” Kim murmured. Kim reached into her pocket for her phone and set an alarm, then lay the phone between them. She took Trini’s hand and tangled their fingers together. “Just get some sleep. I’ll be right here.”

“Okay,” Trini nodded. She continued to stare at Kimberly for a moment before closing her eyes. It was nice being close to the soc again. It was really the only place Trini wanted to be.

When Kim’s alarm went off the next morning, Trini was already long gone.

* * *

Trini had just left homeroom and was on her way to first period when someone came up behind her and shoved her. She stumbled forward, taken by surprise, and caught herself on the back of another greaser. She spun around to face her attacker and came face-to-face with Tommy. Trini’s features hardened.

“Watch where you’re goin’, Oliver,” she snapped.

“I did. Right into you,” Tommy replied with a smirk on her lips. “Maybe you should...drop dead. Then I won’t have to worry about you being in my way.” Her smirk slid away in exchange for a serious glare. “Or worry about you holding a knife to my boyfriend’s neck.”

Trini rolled her eyes. “Wouldn’t hafta worry ‘bout that if he weren’t a douche,” she said. “They went after my boy first.”

“Who? _ Adam _? Adam deserves what he gets.”

“Yeah? Why?”

“Because he’s pathetic? His own Daddy doesn’t love him.”

Trini surged forward at Tommy, and Tommy tried to push her off, but Trini was stronger in the moment. She had Tommy’s arms locked in her own. “Wanna talk about Daddys not lovin’ you?” She asked. “Really? From what I hear your Daddy only loves you when you get a new belt. Can’t be bothered to be there any other time.”

“Little bitch,” Tommy growled, trying to fight Trini off.

“That’s _ top _ bitch to you,” Trini laughed, shoving Tommy back. “Come for me all you want, just be prepared for me to come back,” she threatened. And she knew she was good for it. Tommy may have been bigger than her, but Trini had more strength from sheer anger alone.

“Oh, don’t worry, greaser, you’re going to get what’s coming to you.” Tommy smirked and waved before turning and walking the other direction. Trini huffed to herself and continued on her way to her class.

“Oliver off her meds today?” Z asked, appearing at Trini’s side.

“Apparently,” Trini replied.

“Hey, where’s New Girl?”

“New Girl?”

“Yeah,” Z said, nudging her. “That Rachel girl from last night. She was cute.”

“Oh, right.” Trini nodded. “Yeah, she, uh, she homeschools. It’s why they can move halfway through senior year.”

“Ah, okay,” Z nodded. “Makes sense. You two hook up?”

“Nah, it’s not like that,” Trini said, shaking her head.

“Definitely _ looked _ like that,” Z laughed. “She was _ all _ into you.”

That made Trini smile softly to herself. She shook her head. “Nah. I’m not gettin’ involved with someone so close to gettin’ the hell out of here.” She shrugged, realizing she was telling the truth. “Don’t need somethin’ makin’ me wanna stay when I...can’t.”

“You could,” Z said. “It’d be nice to still see you sometimes.”

“You could leave with us,” she offered, not for the first time.

“You know I can’t leave my mom and sister alone.”

“Just sayin’.”

“Maybe I can get out and visit once you’re settled if I save up enough.”

“You’d be welcome anytime.”

“Just promise me somethin’?” Z asked. Trini looked at her. “If either of the boys backs out...go anyway? You’re so much better than this life, T. You deserve more than this shit forever.”

“After graduation I’ll have ten years to save enough for my brothers to go to college,” Trini said. “No way I’ll make that stayin’ here.”

“But you’ll do something for you too, right?”

“Yeah, don’t worry.”

“With you, I’m always gonna worry,” Z said with a laugh.

* * *

Trini went to put her books in her locker before meeting the others for lunch when she found a note slipped inside her locker door. ‘_ Lunch’ _, written in pink ink. She smiled softly to herself and made sure she had her smokes on herself, then she headed outside and towards the bleachers. She had just dipped under them and gotten to her spot when Kim came walking up, tugging on the straps of her backpack.

“That was rude.”

“What was?” Trini asked.

“You left sometime this morning before I woke up.” Kim crossed her arms and gave Trini a look. Trini felt sheepish.

“I had to be home,” she said with a shrug.

“You could have woken me up and said goodbye. That would have been better than going to sleep staring at your face and waking up alone.”

“I’m sorry.” Trini took a step closer to Kim, but stopped. They may have been hidden under the bleachers, but they were still at school. “I didn’t wanna disrupt you.”

“Well next time...disrupt me.” A little smile spread across Kim’s lips and her head tilted.

“Next time?”

“Next time.”

Trini liked the implication of that, and it warmed her heart just to think about. She nodded. “Okay. Next time I’ll wake you up first. Was there anythin’ else?”

“Yeah, you look really pretty today.”

“Don’t tell me that.”

“I already did.”

“And you’re hopin’ to get what by tellin’ me?”

“A smile?”

  
  
Trini scowled. “I don’t owe you a smile.” It was like something some asshole guy might say to her.

“No, you don’t. But your smile is gorgeous, and I’d like to make you do it whenever I can.”

“...and that’s appropriate to say to me? As friends?”

“You know what I feel isn’t-”

“I know what you say you feel,” Trini said with a nod. She wasn’t sure why, but there in the light of day, at school, the idea just pissed her off. How dare Kim tell her something like that when it’s not a relationship they can even entertain the idea of? “And it doesn’t matter. Me an’ you aren’t able to be anythin’. You’ve got a dude you’re gonna marry, and...we may as well be two different species. So you can’t say shit to me that you wouldn’t say to...Tommy or Amanda.”

“Trini, don’t be-”

“Ridiculous? You’re the one bein’ ridiculous.”

“No,” Kim shook her head and stepped forward to take Trini’s hand. Trini tried to yank it back, but Kim held strong. “I am going to tell you the things I feel around you, because otherwise it’s going to suffocate me, and I have enough suffocation in every other aspect of my life. I don’t want it with you.”

Trini sighed and ran her thumb over Kim’s fingers. “It’s hard for me, okay?”

“To trust that I mean what I say or because you feel it, too?”

“...both?” Trini shrugged her shoulders. She didn’t really know what to say, but she could admit to both things. She watched the hurt wash over Kim’s face. “What?”

“You don’t trust me.”

“Can you blame me? Your kinda people have made my life hell for seventeen years.”

“And that’s on me? The way everyone else has treated you?”

“Everyone else? Everyone _ else _ ? You were doin’ that shit to me just months ago, _ soc _. Don’t kid yourself.”

Kim pulled her hand away, and Trini’s dropped. “I thought...we’d talked that out.”

“One conversation don’t make up for how much shit you put me through in the past. You think it’s just been writin’ dyke on my locker a few times? You’ve been right there with your friends since we were little kids, makin’ my life hell.”

“And I’ve told you I’m sorry! I told you I don’t-”

“Fine! Okay! You don’t believe in all’a that! But...for fuck’s sake! That’s still a decade of shit I’ve gotten just since bein’ in school alone! I believe you wouldn’t wanna do that to me now, that you won’t act that way to other greasers, I do. But you gotta understand how much of your shit I gotta see ‘round to see_ you _. You gotta see how it ain’t easy!” Trini kept her eyes on Kim’s downturned face as she yelled, a small voice in the back of her head telling her to just be quiet, that it was too much to dump on the other girl. Kim was silent for a long time before lifting her head to look at Trini. She had tears in her eyes that went unshed.

“I hadn’t thought about it like that,” Kim said softly. “I’m sorry.” Trini nodded, but didn’t know what else to say. “It’s not going to stop me from saying what I think about you,” Kim said after a moment. “If anything, it’ll make me say it more. So you can remember. Then maybe one day you’ll believe it every time I say it.”

“Why do you care what I believe?” Trini asked. “In, like, four months you’ll be on your way to a whole new life. Won’t think about me ever again.”

Kim took Trini’s hand again and smiled. “I think we both know that’s not true. I’ll think about you all the time. Off living somewhere else, being the rock star I know you’ll be when you get out of here. And I’ll text you and ask to hear all about it. Maybe come visit you.”

“...really?”

“Really. I think we’ll be even better friends after high school, and after this town. It’ll be easier.”

“I guess I could see that,” Trini nodded. It also made her smile a little. The idea of being real world friends with Kim one day actually made her feel good. She could almost see it. “Yeah, okay.”

“I almost forgot.” Kim slung her backpack down her front and opened it up. She had two paper bags inside. She took one out and shoved it into Trini’s arms. “Eat this.”

“Kim, I don’t need-”

“You do. Because you won’t eat otherwise, and I want you to eat. My parents will never pay attention enough to notice me bringing two lunches.”

Trini smiled and held onto the lunch. “Thanks.” The soc was sweet, no doubt about that. “Can you...sit with me while I eat? Or do you gotta get to study hall?”

“I think I have time to sit and watch a pretty girl eat her lunch.” Kim said. Trini grinned and rolled out her blanket before taking a seat on it. Kim sat across from her. “I know why you don’t eat enough, but I wish you’d try a little harder. Keep your strength up.”

Trini bit into a sandwich hungrily. “I keep plenty strong,” she mumbled through turkey and cheese. “Jus’ ask Tommy.”

“You’re really lucky she holds back on her training,” Kim warned her. “Has this whole thing about when she can and can’t use what she knows. She’d kick your ass if she didn’t hold it back.”

“Oh please.” Trini rolled her eyes. “She has kicked my ass. She ain’t afraid of it. Broke my arm in seventh grade. That year set my parents back _ bad _.”

“I forgot about that.”

“Yeah, you would.”

“My point is, don’t count her out for anything. I’d hate to see you get hurt worse than you have already.”

“Won’t get hurt,” Trini said, shaking her head. “No more than usual.” She lifted a brow. “Unless you know somethin’ about some retaliation that I don’t?”

“No, I don’t. I promise you will when I do.”

“Thanks, Princess.”

“Just keep my friend safe.”

“I’ll do my best.” Trini dug around in the paper bag and pulled out a little square of chocolate. She grinned. “Did you pack me dessert?”

Kim smiled, almost shyly, and shrugged. “Maybe.”

“Ain’t you sweet,” Trini said, lifting the chocolate to her nose to inhale its sweet scent.

“I guess you bring it out in me.” Trini met Kim’s gaze as the soc spoke, and they both smiled.


	7. somewhere only we know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told you there'd be another update soon! Comment and let me know what you think, could use some cheering today. cw: bullying, d-slur several times
> 
> chapter title from Somewhere Only We Know as covered by Lily Allen, and the song used in the fic is Rewrite The Stars by The Greatest Showman, and I highly encourage you to listen to it after you read this chapter cause it's quite perfect for them.

_ "and if you have a minute, why don't we go  
talk about it somewhere only we know?  
this could be the end of everything  
so why don't we go  
somewhere only we know?" _

* * *

A few days later, Trini went into school with Zack and Billy at her sides and they stopped at her locker first. The three stood before it, staring, and Trini shook her head. “You’d think they’d get tired of the same damn thing,” she said, her voice thick with emotion. There before her was paint on her locker door. ‘_ Find a dick _ ’, ‘ _ Dyke _ ’, ‘ _ Greaser dirt _ ’ and ‘ _ Mexican trash _’ all written across her locker. None of it was anything new, and the sight didn’t even surprise her anymore. It did, however, still piss her off. And she couldn’t help the voice of doubt in her head questioning if Kim had been a part of it. She knew better. She knew Kim wouldn’t. But the voice was still there, and Trini hated it. Zack took her hand and squeezed it.

“Looks like Tommy’s bad spelling,” he said softly.

They heard laughter approaching behind them and all three looked over their shoulders to see Tommy, Amanda, Ty and Kim walking down the hall. Trini studied Kim and watched her gaze slide to the locker door. Watched her pupils dilate as she read the words, watched a lump go down her throat. But she didn’t stop laughing. And even though Trini understood, it still hurt. But what was more, Trini was starting to realize that she was a possessive kind of girl. Even over a girl that wasn’t really hers. She had always been protective of her people, but she hadn’t ever felt as possessive as she currently felt. She could feel a burning jealousy at the sight of Ty’s arm slung over Kim’s shoulders even though she had seen it a hundred times before. All the other times didn’t give Trini an urge to attack the boy just for the act though. She wanted to knock him over the head and tell him to get his hands off her girl. But...Kim wasn’t hers. Far from it. She had to keep reminding herself of that. Her gaze moved on to Tommy, who was grinning at her. 

“Need a dirty rag, greaser?” Tommy asked.

“Nah, I got your mama,” Trini called back without missing a beat. Tommy started to flinch towards Trini, but Kim tugged her along down the hall. “By the way,” Trini called out, turning to watch them go. “I guess all that money can’t buy you a dictionary, cause ‘Mexcan’ ain’t a word and I ain’t one!” Zack and Billy laughed at her side, and she felt good about herself. She kept watching after the group waiting to see if Kim would turn around, but she never did. Trini squared her jaw and went to her locker door to open it and switch her books around for her first few classes. She wasn’t going to let it bother her. She couldn’t afford to give them the satisfaction.

When she got to class finally and started to settle in, her phone buzzed. She pulled it out and opened it to look at a message that had come in.

**PRINCESS: sorry xo** **  
** **GRUMPY: Wasn’t you. I know that.**

She quickly replied to the message and pocketed her phone. She didn’t have a lot of minutes left, and she had to be careful how she used them because she wasn’t sure when she could get more. She had needed Kim to know she didn’t blame her though. Her phone buzzed again and she rolled her eyes and quickly looked.

**PRINCESS: my beautiful, funny, smart lesbian friend**

That made Trini smile to herself as she put her phone away without responding. Kim really wasn’t like every other soc, and Trini was going to have to figure out how to deal with that.

* * *

Trini was in the bathroom before lunch that same day. She had just finished washing her hands when Tommy and Amanda burst through the door with their other friend, Harper, who made Tommy look like a genius. The three girls rounded on Trini, moved behind her at the sink, and Amanda shoved her forward. Trini hit the porcelain with her hand and gut before spinning around to face them.

“The fuck you want?” She challenged. 

“For you to drop dead, for one,” Amanda replied.

“Funny, you actually think about me enough to wish that?” Trini shook her head, a smirk on her lips. “Think ‘bout me a lot, Clarke?”

“You wish, _ dyke _,” Amanda said with an eye roll. 

“Shouldn’t you be in a greaser bathroom somewhere?” Tommy asked. “Like the old porta potties down the road on the construction site?” All the girls laughed. 

Trini just shook her head and backed towards the door. “Sorry. Still gotta share a bathroom with me an’ all my greaser germs, but don’t worry Tom-Tom, I already spread my dyke germs allll the fuck over this one for you,” she said as she swung the bathroom door open. 

“Gross, contamination,” Tommy replied, faking a barf before laughing again.

“I know you wanna be me, Oliver,” Trini said, pausing in the doorway. “Just wishin’ you could be as gay as me.”

“I’m not _ gay _,” Tommy growled as she spun around.

“Nah, you definitely are,” Trini nodded, knowing she was getting under Tommy’s skin. “You’re just too busy beardin’ it out with your gay ass boyfriend to let yourself learn how good pussy is.” She shook her head. “Really missin’ out. You don’t even know.” She chuckled to herself.

“Even if I was,” Tommy spit, “I’d never want your disgusting, greaser snatch. I’d probably catch every disease possible. Even us socs know you fuck any girl willing.”

Well. That pissed Trini off. Her eyes narrowed. “Nuh uh, see, I’m a smart lesbian. I know all about safe sex. With girls. Don’t gotta resort to dick like you cuz I’m too far in the closet to see the _ very _ tasty rainbow.”

Trini barely finished her words before Tommy flew across the bathroom and had Trini off the floor and against the door. “Listen to me you dirty rat,” Tommy hissed. “If you keep talking about me like that I’m gonna beat your ass, you got it? I’ll make it so _ no one _ wants you.” Tommy was glaring daggers up at Trini and holding her by the scruff of her shirt, and Trini’s heart pounded. She tried to keep a brave face, but she knew she crossed a line. Both in picking on Tommy’s sexuality and poking the bear enough to be unleashed. She knew better. She did. She just couldn’t stop herself sometimes when it came to Tommy.

“Put her down!” A flash of blonde flew at Tommy’s back and Trini blinked in confusion. Gia was hanging off of Tommy’s back with her hands around the soc’s neck.

“Gia! Gia, stop!” Trini shouted while trying to kick Tommy in the sides without getting the younger greaser. Amanda and Harper were shrieking for help but did nothing to aid their friend. Trini struggled in Tommy’s grasp to get down, to get Gia, but Tommy wouldn’t let her go. Trini’s only concern was for Gia. She didn’t want the girl to get into any trouble, and that was almost inevitable with fights in public places.

“What the hell??” Z appeared and grabbed Gia and dragged her off of Tommy. When she did, Tommy loosened her grip on Trini just enough for Trini to knee Tommy in the face and for her to drop the greaser. Trini hit the floor hard, but she bounced up and grabbed Gia by the hand and ran. She knew Z was right at their feet so she didn’t look back. The three kept running until they hit a side door and got outside. Trini looked back and was relieved to see that the socs hadn’t followed.

“That was real dumb,” Trini snapped, shoving Gia slightly.

“Me? Who was Tommy hangin’ out to dry?” Gia replied indignantly. 

“That’s enough,” Z said, pushing them both apart. “You were both stupid. Trini, I don’t know what you did but I’m guessin’ you said somethin’ and it was dumb. Gia, go after socs your own size!”

“That ninja bitch was messin’ with Trini!”

“And Trini can take care of herself!” Trini shouted in Gia’s face.

The younger girl rolled her eyes. “I forgot, Trini’s the only greaser girl that’s allowed to stand up for herself.”

“What’s that suppose’ta mean?” Trini asked, stepping closer to Gia.

“It means you talk big to the rest of us about choosin’ our battles and don’t get into trouble, but you’re the first one always runnin’ into it. Can’t contain your anger. And for you it’s okay, cause you’re T, but the rest of us that wanna stand up sometimes? Nah, we just get told off.”

“Listen to me, lil girl, there’s a difference between bein’ pissed at the world for shit you can’t change and bein’ mad at the injustices we gotta face every day and standin’ up for the people who can’t do it. So yeah, that’s how it is, and when you’re a senior and tryin’ to look out for all the younger kids, you can do whatever the fuck you want.” Trini was toe to toe with Gia, staring up at her, and clearly had all the fight in her smaller body. “Until then, if I say don’t get involved...don’t get involved!” Trini spun on her heel and stormed away. She was too pissed, shaking too much, to stay in school the rest of the day. And as she walked towards the perimeters of the school, she was relieved that Z at least knew well enough to hold onto Gia and let Trini go.

It had been a really long time since Trini had skipped school. With her eyes on the prize of graduation and leaving, she’d been behaving herself the best she could. But she knew herself and she knew if she went back in that building and got shit on one more time she’d lose it. And that would probably be worse than an extra day or two of detention for skipping. Trini found herself walking out to the mines and through to the clearing where she always met Kim. She didn’t know why, it was just the first place that instinct took her. She dropped her backpack in the dirt and pulled her cigarettes from her pocket to light one up. She paced on the big rock that overlooked the water while she smoked. She was still shaking. She hated to admit it, but Tommy terrified her sometimes. Trini knew that Tommy could demolish her if given the chance. She didn’t like it, but she knew it. And she _ hated _ it.

And she was mad. She was so goddamn mad. Mad that Gia had to be so angry all the time. Mad that the world they lived in was so unjust and unfair. Mostly, mad that the one person that seemed to make her less mad those days was the last person she could be around. With tears in her eyes Trini put the cigarette in her lips and bent down to pull her beat-up, old discman and headphones from her backpack. She hit play and turned it up, loud. She only owned a few CDs and they were all pirated, but she needed the noise to drown her own thoughts out. As the metal notes blared in her ears she moved to sit on the edge of the rock, legs hanging over, and she closed her eyes. By the time she was finished her cigarette she felt marginally calmer. Calm enough, at least, that she no longer felt the need to scream at the top of her lungs or punch the hell out of the rock beneath her. That was about it. She still hadn’t learned her lesson about taking her anger out on inanimate objects or her vocal chords. She laid back on the rock and stared up at the sky and just let herself stop thinking and zone out for a while.

Several songs later her pocket started to buzz. She ignored it, but it kept buzzing. And every time it stopped it started again. She flung the headphones off her head and dug the phone from her pocket. She flipped it open and brought it to her ear without seeing who it was. “The fuck you want?!”

“Where are you?” It was Kim.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it.”

“I am hiding in a janitor’s closet right now because of how badly I want to yell at you.” Kim’s voice was sharp and cold, and Trini hated it. “_ Where _ are you?”

“What’re you gonna do? Skip school? _ Please _.”

“Meet me in fifteen minutes. You know where.”

“Do socs even skip school?” Trini asked, ignoring the demand.

“Trini.”

“Shouldn’t say my name. One of your minions might hear ya.”

“You can be a bitch if you want, that’s fine, but I’m still coming to meet you. Please be there.” And the line went dead. Trini slammed the phone shut and tossed it aside and she pulled the headphones back over her ears. All she had to do was leave, and she wouldn’t have to face Kim, but...the idea of seeing Kim right then was actually a comfort. Even though she knew she was about to get yelled at, Kim was the only person Trini wanted to see. Maybe get a nice, warm hug. Trini zoned out again. She didn’t come to until the headphones were yanked off her head, pulling strands of her hair with it.

“Ow! What the fuck?!” She opened her eyes and glared up at Kim who stood over her with crossed arms and a very angry face. Instead of trying to save her own ass, Trini smirked. “Can totally see up your skirt, Princess. Didn’t take you for a white panties kinda girl.”

Kim huffed and stepped back, pushing her skirt against her thighs. “Sit up.”

“Why? I can hear you from here,” Trini said without moving.

“Dammit, Trini!” Kim moved and sat beside Trini and stared back over her shoulder at her. “Everyone’s talking about how there was almost a fight last period. Oh, and about how Tommy might have a broken nose.”

“It’s not my fault Tommy has ‘roid rage. Whatever she got, she deserved.”

“It _ is _ your fault that she was so pissed off though, isn’t it?”

Trini sighed, her eyes remaining on the sky. “I got carried away.”

“And you and your friends almost got hurt.”

“I didn’t expect Gia and Z to show up,” Trini shrugged. “Me? I can take a hit.”

“Do you _ want _ Tommy to kick your ass? Is that it?”

Trini groaned and sat up, rubbing her face. “God, Kim, let it go. I went off and I shouldn’t have, I got it.”

“You know...for someone who parades around as the big bad lesbian who always gets bullied for her orientation...you’re really an insensitive asshole.”

“Excuse you?”

“You gave me a hard time about being bi, you’re harassing Tommy about being in the closet...how are those things okay to do to another queer, or not, person? Is it because we’re socs? It’s okay to treat us that way?” Kim’s gaze on Trini didn’t waver, but Trini could hardly look her in the eye. “Isn’t that a little hypocritical?”

“No. It’s...I _ don’t know _ , okay! I know I don’t know a lot about bein’ bi, and I’ve told you I’m sorry. But Tommy? Nah, I don’t care. She’s a grade A bitch, and she’s in the closet callin’ _ me _ a dyke every day? Sorry, but nah.” Trini shook her head.

“It’s really none of your business if she’s in the closet or not,” Kim argued evenly. “I’m not saying don’t stand up for yourself or don’t meet her at her level if you really must, but don’t go there Trini. It’s a little repulsive on you.” Kim turned her head and looked forward across the water. Trini’s eyes shifted to watch Kim’s profile and her heart began to pound again. The last thing she wanted was to be repulsive to Kim in any way.

“...you right,” Trini said softly. “I ain’t gonna apologize to her, but...I won’t go there again.” She watched Kim nod but say nothing, and it didn’t feel like enough to Trini. She still felt...disgusting. Not because of what she did, but because of how Kim saw what she did. She was quiet for a while, waiting for more, but it never came. Her hand, seemingly with a mind of its own, lifted and she gently brushed her knuckles to Kim’s cheek. Kim closed her eyes and leaned into Trini’s hand and Trini stilled it there. “Are you gonna get in trouble for skippin’?”

“I told the nurse I had cramps,” Kim said softly.

“...that works for socs??” Trini shook her head and tried not to laugh. They really did live in two different worlds. She moved closer to Kim’s warmth and pressed into her side. “I don’t wanna repulse you,” Trini whispered against Kim’s ear, and she felt the soc shudder against her. She brushed back the hair behind Kim’s ear. Kim reached up to catch Trini’s hand and intertwine their fingers.

“I don’t think you could ever truly repulse me,” Kim murmured back. She turned and caught Trini’s eye, and Trini, for once, was strong enough to hold it. “I’m scared someone is going to hurt you because of how passionate you are, and the idea of it kills me,” Kim said, her voice pained. Her eyes creased, narrowed at Trini’s. “Do you see that? I ache inside when I think about someone bringing you any pain.” It was Kim’s turn to run her fingers through Trini’s hair and push it back. “I would take on Tommy myself to save you, Trini.”

Trini shook her head and pressed her forehead into Kim’s. “That’d be stupid.” Her hand cupped Kim’s cheek and their noses brushed. She wanted to kiss Kim so badly. More than she had wanted anything in her life. And there was a pull, a magnetic pull, inching their mouths together, but she tried with all of her might to fight it. “Your face is too pretty for any of Tommy’s bruises.”

Kim laughed slightly and their lips touched briefly. “Trini…” Kim whispered, her voice pained still.

And it would be so easy. It would be so easy to just press her lips to Kim’s and kiss her, but Trini couldn’t. She couldn’t, because it wouldn’t be the last. She knew it would be an addiction, and she knew it would ruin her. She couldn’t have that. Not with Kim. Not with another guy’s girl. Not...with a soc. “I can’t,” she whispered. She pulled away to put air between them and she let go of Kim’s face. Kim tried to pull her back in, put both hands on Trini’s cheeks, but Trini dodged away. “Kim! No!” And Kim pulled back, a frown on her beautiful lips, her eyes downcast. “The reasons are still the same,” Trini tried to argue, though Kim wasn’t saying a word. “You’re a _ soc _. And you’re with Ty.” She watched Kim nod vaguely and continued watching her. When it was apparent Kim wasn’t going to say another word, Trini got to her feet and lit another cigarette. She was only a few puffs in when Kim stood up beside her, took the cigarette from her fingers, and threw it into the water. “Hey!”

“You can drink and get high, but stop that.”

“I don’t hafta listen to you!”

“Get your bag. We’re going to my house.”

“Uhh...are you crazy?” 

“My parents are never home before sundown. We’re not going back to school today so you may as well come over for a bit and hang out.”

“Too dangerous.”

Kim stared at Trini and did a little lip bite and head tilt action. “I’d really like to take a nap with you.”

Trini smirked and reached out to touch the gold shooting star necklace around Kim’s neck. “You just want someone to cuddle.”

Kim took a step closer so that she was pressed to Trini’s side. “No,” she said carefully. “I want to cuddle with _ you _.”

“Almost like I’m special,” Trini said playfully, letting her finger draw up the hollow of Kim’s throat. She watched Kim’s eyes flutter shut and smiled.

“S-something like that,” Kim said.

“Swear we won’t sleep too long? Don’t really feel like bein’ shot by your old man.”

“That would require him knowing where my room is and remembering that I’m alive.” That made Trini’s smile fall into a frown. Kim opened her eyes and saw it, and she took hold of Trini’s hand. “Is that a yes?”

“Yes,” Trini said, though she knew she shouldn’t. It had already been proven that she made poor decisions around Kim.

* * *

The two girls lay on top of Kim’s bed. They were stretched out on their sides facing one another, and they couldn’t stop staring at each other. Usually it’d be too much for Trini, but she found after the initial uncomfortableness that it was actually pretty soothing to stare into Kim’s eyes. It felt like they were speaking to each other even though not a word was exchanged so far. Kim’s hand rested on Trini’s shoulder and brushed it up and down slowly. Trini’s hand was unmoving on Kim’s hip. There were only inches of space between them, and it seemed like Kim’s face was getting closer by the moment.

Kim’s lips looked more inviting than ever. Parted slightly for her more rapid breathing, they looked so soft and warm. Trini knew she kept looking at them, knew that Kim could see her doing so, but the sight drew her in. She had always liked kissing. Made out with a lot of girls over the years of figuring out her sexuality. But she had a feeling that kissing Kim would be better than all the rest combined. It had to be. Trini’s breath caught as Kim’s nose brushed hers, and her eyes closed on their own. 

It wouldn’t take much. Just a small reach. From her lips to Kim’s. But all the reasons why not began pounding in her head again. She opened her eyes and found Kim staring at her with an intensity Trini had never known. Her hand tightened on Kim’s hip and Kim inched her body closer. Kim’s hand moved to Trini’s cheek and her thumb stroked it softly.

“I don’t care,” Kim whispered after a moment. Trini felt her warm breath against her lips. “I know the reasons why we shouldn't, and I don’t care.”

Trini swallowed hard and took in the honesty radiating from Kim’s stare. It was all too much and she wanted to look away, but she couldn’t. “I’m the one that’ll be tossed aside,” Trini said softly.

“You don’t know that,” Kim insisted. “Maybe we could find a way to-”

Trini pulled back and put space between them. Kim’s hand slid off her cheek and Trini could suddenly breathe again. “You’re still livin’ in a fantasy.”

“Because I’d rather try than be too scared to?”

“I have more to lose here than you do, Kimberly. You know it,” Trini said, her voice thick with emotion. She tore her eyes from Kim’s and looked down.

“I think I’m losing quite a lot,” Kim argued evenly. 

“...you really think if any soc found out they’d let me live to see the end of it?” Trini asked. “Some asshole would come for me and not stop til I’m dead, and you know it.”

“I don’t think-”

“That’s the problem.” Trini pushed herself up to a sitting position. “You still think this is some minor issue. This...thing with who we are. But in my world? It _ is _ life or death. Greasers have been beaten to death before just ‘cuz of who they are. I ain’t sayin’ your friends would...not all’a them, but it’s our history. It’s real. And I ain’t never heard of a soc and greaser gettin’ together before. If they beat me enough to keep me outta school for a week just for walkin’ _ near _ the line in town then what do you think they’ll do to me if they know I’m messin’ around with you?” Trini’s eyes found Kim’s again, which were staring at her intensely. “Is whatever this is worth me gettin’ beat down again? Is it worth my life?” She saw pain wrinkle at Kim’s eyes, and she held her gaze solidly.

“I’d stay away from you forever to keep you safe,” Kim whispered. She brushed a lock of hair from Trini’s forehead. “The problem is that my will power isn’t that strong around you. I’ve always struggled with impulse control, and I’m honestly surprised I’ve kept it together this long.”

“I know I’m a coward,” Trini murmured, her eyes falling from Kim’s.

“No you’re not.” Kim’s hand slid down to Trini’s chin and tipped it up so that Trini would look at her, which she did. “You’re right.”

“I don’t wanna be.”

“I know.” Kim stared a moment longer before leaning in and kissing Trini on her forehead. She kept her lips there and Trini closed her eyes. Neither moved for a long time. Finally, Kim pulled back. “Turn over. I want my nap with you.”

“Kay,” Trini said. She rolled onto her side and felt Kim press up against her back, an arm wrapping tight around her waist. Trini lay her head against Kim’s arm beneath her and rested her arm on top of the one around her waist, and she closed her eyes. Kim rested her chin to Trini’s shoulder and Trini could feel and hear Kim’s soft breath in her ear. It made her shiver. Kim held her tighter. Trini laced her fingers with Kim’s and held on. “I wish it was different,” Trini murmured, almost too softly for Kim to hear.

“Me too, baby. Me too.”

* * *

Kimberly tugged Trini into the clearing by her hand and came to a stop near their rock. The sun had set and the two snuck out of Kim’s window to avoid running into her parents so that Trini could leave. Kim kept a tight hold on Trini’s hand when Trini tried to let go.

“I don’t want to say goodbye yet,” Kim whined with a pout. 

And that pout did something to Trini. She knew she should go find the guys, she knew they were probably worried, but one look at the pout of Kim’s lips kept her in her place. “Okay,” she said easily. “What do you wanna do?”

Kim thought then moved her arms around Trini. “Ever since the party...I’ve wanted to dance with you.”

“We did dance, Princess,” Trini said with a smirk at the memory of it.

“No. Slow dance,” Kim said against Trini’s forehead.

“We...shouldn’t,” Trini said, shaking her head.

“After tonight I’ll stop,” Kim promised. “No more touching like this, no more cuddling...we can just be friends. But dance with me first?”

Trini looked up at Kim. “How?”

“Well, you may not know this, but real phones these days have the ability to play music,” Kim said smartly. Trini gave her a slight shove and Kim laughed. She pulled away to take her phone out, and Trini watched her go through it until soft music began to play from it. She turned it up a little and placed it in her back pocket before she wrapped her arms around Trini’s waist and pulled her close. Trini felt her cheeks warm as she put her arms around Kim’s neck. She vaguely recognized the song; something about love and longing, and her eyes were again drawn to Kim’s as they slowly swayed.

_You know I want you_  
_It's not a secret I try to hide_  
_I know you want me_  
_So don't keep saying our hands are tied_  
_You claim it's not in the cards_  
_Fate is pulling you miles away_  
_And out of reach from me_  
_But you're here in my heart_  
_So who can stop me if I decide_  
_That you're my destiny?_

“Ain’t there a song ‘bout dancin’ in the moonlight?” Trini asked after a while. She watched Kim smile softly.

“I like this one,” Kim said. She moved impossibly closer and Trini’s breath caught. “I think about you any time I hear it.”

_What if we rewrite the stars?_  
_Say you were made to be mine_  
_Nothing could keep us apart_  
_You'd be the one I was meant to find_  
_It's up to you, and it's up to me_  
_No one can say what we get to be_  
_So why don't we rewrite the stars?_  
_Maybe the world could be ours_  
_Tonight_

Trini swallowed and looked down. She knew Kim couldn’t really help herself, and it was pretty damn romantic, but...that was the problem, wasn't it? She wanted it all though. Wanted to keep dancing with Kim in her arms, wanted to hear Kim’s thoughts. She felt herself getting emotional from the moment and the song, the words and how much they spoke to her, so she leaned in and rested her forehead to Kim’s shoulder. Kim’s hands moved up her back to hold her there. “It’s a good song,” Kim whispered, the words of it hitting Trini in the gut.

_You think it's easy?_  
_You think I don't want to run to you_  
_But there are mountains_  
_And there are doors that we can't walk through_  
_I know you're wondering why_  
_Because we're able to be_  
_Just you and me_  
_Within these walls_  
_But when we go outside_  
_You're going to wake up and see that it was hopeless after all_

“Can I tell you a really big secret before I stop telling you the truth?” Kim murmured.

Playing with the hair on the back of Kim’s neck, Trini sighed. She shouldn’t say yes, but she wanted to hear. One last time, she wanted to hear that Kim adored her. “Sure, Princess.”

_No one can rewrite the stars_  
_How can you say you'll be mine?_  
_Everything keeps us apart_  
_And I'm not the one you were meant to find_  
_It's not up to you_  
_It's not up to me_  
_When everyone tells us what we can be_  
_How can we rewrite the stars?_  
_Say that the world can be ours_  
_Tonight_

_All I want is to fly with you_  
_All I want is to fall with you_  
_So just give me all of you_

_It feels impossible (it's not impossible)_  
_Is it impossible?_

_Say that it's possible_

Kim was quiet for a bit, but then her lips dipped down to Trini’s ear. “The last time I listened to this song, and thought about you...I was naked.” That, Trini wasn’t expecting. At all. The words burned low in her stomach and between her legs and her head pulled back. She couldn’t look Kim in the eye and hers shot back and forth. What was she supposed to say? Because suddenly all she could think about was a naked Kim writhing on her big bed. She knew her cheeks had gone red. “Was that too much?” Kim asked, fear in her voice.

“N-no,” Trini said, shaking her head. “I, uh, I…” She licked her lips and thought about herself, hidden under her covers, a hand between her legs as she thought about the soc. Did she dare continue the conversation? Was it a step too far? She was never one to shy from some dirty talk, from honesty about her sex life, but...it was Kim. 

“It was too far. I’m sorry.” Kim started to pull away, but Trini held her close and didn’t let her.

“It’s...really hot,” Trini admitted. “And...you’re not the only one who’s...had some interactive thoughts about us.”

_How do we rewrite the stars?_  
_Say you were made to be mine?_  
_Nothing can keep us apart_  
_'Cause you are the one I was meant to find_  
_It's up to you_  
_And it's up to me_  
_No one can say what we get to be_  
_And why don't we rewrite the stars?_  
_Changing the world to be ours_

Silent for a beat, Kim met Trini’s gaze. She grinned. “Really?”

“Well...yeah,” Trini said, her heart pounding and her cheeks burning more. “You’re hot, I’m seventeen.”

“You’re right,” Kim replied. “It is hot to hear that.”

Trini could feel Kim’s fingers drag up and down her back. Her gaze again fell to the soc’s lips. “Gives me somethin’ good to think about next time.”

“Next time?”

“Just ‘cuz we can’t do anything doesn’t mean I can’t keep fantasizin’ ‘bout it.”

“Does that mean I can, too and it doesn’t make me a creep?”

“Nah….I want you to,” Trini admitted. She shook her head and looked away. “Okay, maybe now we should stop.” The desire was building up far too much for comfort, and she could easily keep talking to Kim about it, but it would only weaken her resolve that much more.

_You know I want you_  
_It's not a secret I try to hide_  
_But I can't have you_  
_We're bound to break and my hands are tied_

“I think I need a cold shower,” Kim said. Trini laughed, but in the next second Kim pulled away. “Actually, I think we both do.” And she quickly pulled her top over her head.

Trini’s eyes widened and she looked away from the sight she very much wanted to look at. “What are you doin’?!”

“Take your clothes off.”

“Nah, I think I’ll keep ‘em on.” Trini couldn’t help the way her eyes glanced to the side to look again. Kim had just gotten her shoes off and she dropped her skirt. She wore just her panties and some pink, strappy bra. She gave Trini a wide grin. “I dare you,” she said. Then she took off and launched herself off the cliff and dove into the water. Trini heard the splash and it made her wide eyes go wider. “Kim!” She hissed, rushing to the side of the rock. Kim came up for air and started swimming around.

“Get in!”

“Kim! That water’s gotta be freezin’!”

“Cold enough to cool off my thoughts about you naked. Get in.”

“No. I ain’t crazy like you.”

“I did dare you,” Kim reminded her.

Trini frowned. It was true. And she never backed down from a dare. She did still need some cooling off, and maybe it’d be better right then instead of waiting until she got home. She turned her back to Kim and tugged off her tee shirt to drop it in the dirt. She bent down and untied her boots and toed them off, followed by her socks, and then pushed off her jeans. She turned around and watched Kim float on her back for a moment as she stood there in her old, raggedy sports bra and her green plaid boxers. She took a deep breath before climbing down some of the rocks to get closer to the pool of water, knowing Kim’s eyes were on her, and when she was close enough she jumped in.

The water _ was _ freezing. She gasped as she popped back up. “Ohmigod!” She shrieked. “Kim, it’s the Arctic!” 

Kim laughed and paddled closer then hovered nearby. “It’s not that bad, drama queen.”

“B-because you do this all the time,” Trini argued. She swam to stay above the surface and glared at Kim. “Can’t believe you made me do this. I’m gettin’ out.” She turned to swim away, but Kim laughed and grabbed her by the arm.

“No!” Kim moved close to Trini and wrapped one arm around her, the other paddling in the water. “No, stay.” Kim was grinning, wet hair plastered to her face, and Trini couldn’t bear to tear herself away. “It’s not so bad.”

“I think your lips are goin’ blue,” Trini said. She moved a hand to Kim’s back and held it. 

“Looking at my lips?” Kim asked, said lips quirking up into a smirk.

“Always look at your lips,” Trini admitted, recklessly.

“I know.” Kim was still grinning. “I’ve noticed.”

Trini chuckled. “Guess I’m more obvious than I realized.”

“I’m usually pretty busy looking at your lips too,” Kim said.

“...we’re supposed to be coolin’ off, Hart.”

“It’s hard around you.”

“That’s what he said,” Trini snorted.

Kim laughed. “Nice.” She stared at Trini in a kind of amazed, happy way and was quiet for a moment before she shook her head. “Trini, I’m really sorry…”

Trini frowned, her eyes narrowing. “For what?”

And Kim kissed her.


	8. take a chance on me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -A lot happening in this chapter. Hope it's not too much.  
-chapter title from Take A Chance On Me by ABBA  
-cw for blood  
-not feeling well so apologies for any editing errors/awkward sentences I missed

_"so much that I wanna do, when I dream I'm alone with you_  
_it's magic_  
_you want me to leave it there, afraid of a love affair_  
_but I think you know_  
_that I can't let go  
_ _if you change your mind, I'm the first in line  
honey I'm still free  
take a chance on me"_

* * *

Trini was stunned for a moment. She couldn’t move or kiss back, but the second she felt Kim begin to pull away, her hand slid to the back of Kim’s neck and she held her there and kissed her. Trini’s heart pounded fast and she felt hot all over despite the chill of the water. The kiss itself was tentative and slow; a discovery of sorts. She tasted Kim’s tongue and heard the soc moan softly into her mouth. Trini pulled back suddenly at the sound and looked at Kim. Kim’s eyes blinked open slowly, and they were darker than usual, but unwavering. As though she had every faith in Trini herself. Trini blinked at the other girl and shook her head slowly.

“Why...did you do that?” She asked.

“Because I couldn’t not do it anymore,” Kim answered. Trini felt herself running low on steam from that kiss and she turned and paddled back to the closest rock. She pushed herself onto it and sat there staring back at Kim. Kim continued to paddle in the water and watch Trini. “I’m sorry,” Kim said desperately. 

Trini knew her eyes were narrowed, that she looked angry, but she was processing it all still. Kim had kissed her. _ Kimberly Hart _ had kissed her. And it had been the sweetest tasting kiss of her life. “You shouldn’t have.”

“I know.” Kim swam over to the rock and propped herself on it beside Trini. 

Trini looked away, unable to see the pure honestly that radiated from Kim’s gaze. She wanted to get up and walk away, but she was still trembling. She couldn’t let Kim see how weak she was. “I told you I didn’t want to.”

“It...felt like you did.”

“You’re so used to gettin’ everything you want,” Trini argued, shaking her head. “I’m not gonna be some..._ thing _ you want that you can’t have and won’t stop til you get.”

“No, Trini…” Kim grabbed onto Trini’s knees and moved between her legs to look up at her. “That’s not how it is.”  
  
“Then how is it?!” Trini shook Kim off and got to her feet. The air on her wet skin didn’t help her trembling problem and she wrapped her arms around herself.

Kim pushed up onto the rock and stood across from Trini. “You know I care about you,” she insisted. “You know this isn’t a game to me.”

“I told you we couldn’t kiss! Several times!”

“Then why didn’t you push me away sooner?” Kim backed Trini up to the larger rockpile behind herself.

“Because! I-I...you surprised me!” 

Kim set her hands to the rock behind Trini on either side of her. “But you kissed me back.”

“I didn’t know what I was doin’!” Trini tried to push against Kim, but the soc pushed her back into the rock gently.

“I think you did. I think you liked it as much as I did, and now you’re scared again.”

“Damn right I am,” Trini said thickly. “For my life.” She pushed Kim off and climbed rock to rock until she was at the top again. She picked up her shirt to tug it over her head, and soon Kim appeared in front of her.

“No one ever has to know,” she pleaded.

Trini stilled with her jeans in her hands. She met Kim’s gaze. It was so tempting to give in and taste Kim’s lips again, but...she couldn’t. She ducked her head and pulled her jeans on, struggling to get them up her wet legs, but ultimately winning. She buttoned them and looked up again. “Someone will know.”

A hardened look came over Kim’s face. “You know what? _ Fine _. Clearly, you don’t feel the way I feel. It must be nice.” She turned and picked up her own clothes as she began to dress, and the words hit Trini hard. They pissed her off. She grabbed Kim’s arm after the soc got her skirt on and spun her around to face herself. 

“You think I don’t _ want _ to?” Trini hissed. “You think I don’t wanna give in and...and kiss you til you’re beggin’ me to touch you?” Their bodies were pressed close and their eyes glared at one another. “All I think about anymore is kissin’ you. It’s... _ rottin’ _ my brain. I see you in the halls and I just wanna...push you into a locker and kiss you so everyone knows you’re _ my _ girl. You walk up to me under the bleachers and I think...no one will ever see...I could just kiss her right here...” She paused to catch her breath. She watched Kim swallow hard. “But it won’t last. Either...it’ll end badly and you’ll have one’a your friends jump me, or...someone that shouldn’t see us will. There ain’t no _ possible _ way of this workin’.” She watched Kim’s gaze fall, hurt in her eyes, and she let out a sigh. 

“And what if it doesn’t? End badly. What if we get to finish out our last year here...happy?” Kim’s hands settled on Trini’s hips, and Trini didn’t push them away. “I can’t turn away from this...can you? Really?”

And Trini, against her better judgement, got caught up in Kim’s gaze. She looked up at the soc, studied her, and took in the concern and care in her eyes. “No,” she whispered honestly. Kim’s arms went tighter around Trini’s waist.

“Was that one little kiss really enough for you?”

Trini gulped. “No.”

“Can I kiss you again, Trin?”

  
  


The no was on the tip of her tongue, but instead she heard herself gasp a soft, “Yes.” In the next second, Kim’s lips were on hers again, and Kim held her close and tight, and Trini had never felt so safe. She cupped Kim’s cheek and returned the kiss. In no time it became heated. Their kiss, almost desperate, went on and on. Trini didn’t want it to ever stop. She could breathe Kim’s kisses and stay alive as far as she was concerned. But they had to breathe, and Kim rested her forehead to Trini’s as they both gasped for air.

“Can you really say no to that?” Kim whispered, breathily.

Trini tried to get the usual reasons out of her mouth, but all she could think of was how good that kiss had felt. “You’re not playin’ fair.”

“If I weren’t playing fair I’d get naked and ask you to take me.”

“R-right,” Trini’s breath hitched at the thought of it. Her hands moved to the back of Kim’s neck and she pulled her down for one more soft kiss. “You played me, Hart,” she whispered against Kim’s lips. “An’ I don’t appreciate bein’ played.” She turned her back to Kim as she sat to put her socks and boots on.

“I wasn’t...trying to play you,” Kim said to her back.

“You did.” Trini stood up when she was done and turned to face Kim, seeing that the girl had gotten her shirt on. “You know what I want. You also know why we can’t.” She picked up her stuff and shoved her discman and phone into her backpack. 

“Trini, please!” Kim rushed after her. “Maybe you can just...deny what you want better than me!”

“What do you _ want _?” Trini stood and slung her bag over her shoulder. “What is it you want, Kimberly?”

“I want to be here with you, and I want to kiss you, and I want to know that you’re not screwing Z!”

Trini rubbed her forehead. “I don’t _ want _ to screw Z. I want to stay here where we don’t have the rest of the world botherin’ us, and yeah, I wanna kiss you all fuckin’ night, but...I don’t get to have the things I want. Maybe you’re used to it, but...it ain’t my life. I’m a greaser, Kim. I was born a greaser and I’m gonna die a greaser. With my mouth? Probably a lot sooner than later. You need to accept it.”

Kim stared at Trini for a moment before stepping closer. “I know my heart is going to get broken here. I get it won’t last. But I’m already miserable. I’ll be miserable for the rest of my life. For a few months…” Kim shook her head. “I just want to be happy and get to know the girl that I’m already crazy about.”

The words struck Trini, and she stared at her boots for a while. “...no one can ever know,” Trini whispered, feeling too weak to keep fighting what she wanted.

“No one will,” Kim promised.

“And as long as you’re still with him...I’m still gettin’ laid when I wanna.” She knew it was an empty promise. Knew that she didn’t want any other girl. But she had to put a line in the sand somewhere.

“You know I can’t...break up with him.”

That sent Trini towards starting another fight, but she just didn’t have it in her right then. She looked up. “And don’t talk to me about him.”

“I won’t.”

“You’re only sayin’ all this to make out with me.”

“No. I’m saying it all because I want to be able to kiss you when we’re alone, because maybe then I’ll stop thinking about you.”

Trini knew it was dangerous. She knew Kim had just talked her into it and that wasn’t the healthiest way to start anything, but...she wanted it. She needed to be young and reckless if only for a single night. “We’re alone now. Kiss me,” she said softly. 

“Any time you want.” And Kim did. And Trini dropped her bag and wrapped her arms around Kim, and she was still shivering from the cold, knew she should go home and warm up, but she didn’t want to. When they parted Kim brushed Trini’s wet hair from her face. “Come to my house and put on some dry clothes.”

“Your parents are home.”

“You can sneak into my room and they’ll never know you’re there.”

“Sounds real stupid to me.”

“If we stay out here all night we’ll get sick,” Kim argued. “And I’m not ready to say goodnight, are you?”

Trini considered it. She knew it was a bad idea, knew their chances of getting caught were higher, but she wasn’t thinking with a very clear head at the moment. “...can you go home and get us dry clothes and sneak out again?”

“Yes.”

“Then do that. We still have those blankets out here. We’ll change and get warm, and no one will know where we are.”

“Okay,” Kim reasoned. “But don’t freeze on me.”

Trini smiled softly. “Just hurry up before I change my mind.”

“Don’t leave?”

“I won’t.”

Kim stood there a moment longer staring at Trini, and then she nodded and backed away. “Stay. Wait for me.”

“I’ll be right here, Princess,” Trini promised. She watched Kim turn and jog off up the trail towards her house and pulled a cigarette out to light. She went to dig out the trash bag of blankets and set them up on their rock, and when she was done smoking she crawled between the blankets to get warm. She stared up at the moon for a long time. Tried not to think about what was happening, because she knew if she thought too much she’d flee. She didn’t want to run from Kim. Not yet. She wanted one night. One night to feel like a normal, happy teenager without a care in the world.

Sooner than she expected, she heard Kim walking back over to her. She turned to see. Kim was wearing a beanie, sweatpants, a long-sleeved tee and had a grocery bag in her hand. “Hey,” she said softly, kneeling beside Trini. She crouched down and pulled out another beanie and put it on Trini’s head then handed her a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt. They were grey and plain, and they looked so warm. “I brought snacks, too.”

“My hero,” Trini smirked. She got up and took the sweats behind the bushes to change. She lay the wet clothes on top of the bushes to hopefully dry enough for her to wear home. Before joining Kim in the blankets she checked her phone. She had missed texts and calls from Zack, and from her mom, but she ignored them and went to Kim. Kim held the top blanket up and Trini crawled in. Trini moved close to Kim to absorb her warmth.

“Snacks?” Kim asked.

“In a bit. Wanna get warm first.”

“I can help with that…” Kim wrapped her arm around Trini and tugged her closer before dipping her head in. “If you want?”

And Trini leaned in and kissed her.

* * *

After warming up properly and indulging in the snacks Kim had brought from home they settled back in under the blankets together and returned to staring at one another. Trini knew she could just stare at Kim all night until they fell asleep, but she wanted her kisses, too. Her thumb grazed Kim’s cheek and she moved closer, but not close enough. Not yet. Her lips curled up in a smile and she watched Kim’s do the same. Trini moved closer again. She stared, and admired, and slowly continued to move closer until she could taste Kim’s breath. She didn’t know how Kim was holding herself back. Already she had learned that it wasn’t an easy thing for Kim to do. Hold back. But Kim was holding and Trini was proud. She moved until their lips were touching, mouths open and breath hot, and she stared straight into Kim’s eyes and waited. Part of her wanting to see how long Kim would wait for her, part of her wanting the beautiful build up. Kim’s hand was on Trini’s hip and her nails were biting into the skin of Trini’s side painfully. Trini ignored it. She heard the soft whine deep in the back of Kim’s throat, and it was her undoing. She closed her mouth over Kim’s and kissed her deeply.

They kissed for a long time. Until their bodies were pressed close without an inch of space between them. Until their hips moved their own needy beat. Every time they needed air they didn’t stop staring at one another, and every time they kissed again it was a crashing symphony. Trini had never wanted someone so much, or felt wanted by someone so much, through just kissing. She knew she could easily tear all of Kim’s clothes off right there and take her, but her mind kept kicking in and forced her to slow down again and again. She kept pulling Kim’s hands out from under her clothes, kept pushing Kim back when Kim tried to move on top of her. It finally got too hot under the blankets. Trini had to get up and walk away and pace. Kim let her. Kim remained on the bottom blanket with the top flung off, and she watched Trini pace, but she didn’t say anything.

Eventually, Trini felt cooled off enough and she returned to the blanket. She stood over Kim. “I’m gettin’ back in and we’re goin’ to sleep.”

“I can behave,” Kim said. She pulled the blanket back over herself and held it up in invitation for Trini. Trini nodded and laid back down. “No more leaving me alone in this bed,” Kim said, arranging the blanket over Trini.

“Set an alarm. Don’t wanna be late for school.”

“You’re such a good girl,” Kim said, as though annoyed by it. She took out her phone and set the alarm then placed the phone on the rock above their heads. Trini grabbed Kim’s extended hand and entwined their fingers.

“Not all the time.”

“I’d like to hear more about that...when I’m not this turned on,” Kim said. She laid on her back and pulled Trini against her shoulder. Trini snuggled in against Kim, not wanting to admit how good it felt to be held by the soc.

“Go to sleep and dream about it.”

“Oh, I will,” Kim chuckled.

* * *

Trini woke up before the alarm went off. She blinked slowly as Kim came into focus beside her, her face lit up by the emerging sun over the giant rocks. Trini reached out and brushed hair from Kim’s face and watched the other girl’s nose wrinkle, but Kim continued to sleep.

What had even happened last night? Was Trini out of her mind? She had to be. She had just woken up beside _ the _ soc princess after a night of making out with her, grinding with her, and holding her. Panic seized Trini’s body. She gasped in air before it could get trapped from her lungs and she got up onto her feet. She walked away from where Kim slept and breathed evenly for awhile, making sure she could, before she lit up a cigarette. She smoked it and paced, thinking over where her choices the night before had landed her. In a giant hole of stupidity, that’s where. She shook her head at herself. She finished the cigarette then changed back into her clothes from the night before. She left her sweats folded up beside Kim, grabbed her bag, and took off.

She made it to school in record time and she went straight for her spot under the bleachers. She was shaking, and she wanted it to stop. Wanted the constant thoughts of ‘_ What did I do?I’ ‘What was I thinking? _’ drowning her mind out to stop. She took out her pot and rolled herself a joint and lit it up. She had made herself stop getting high before or during school a long time ago, but she needed something right then. Some way to calm down. And as she worked at her high, she found that her thoughts still wouldn’t stop.

What had given Kim the right to kiss her in the first place? To play with Trini’s mind and talk her into it? How was that fair? How did that mean Trini could trust Kim? It didn’t. And it didn’t mean Trini’s life had changed in any way. How _ could _ it change her life? How could she let it?

Easy. She wouldn’t. She would continue her life exactly the way it had been and no longer let Kim get into her head and twist what she wanted. Trini wanted a friend in Kim. Nothing more. It was all she could allow herself to want. Even that was too much. But it was something.

Yeah. It was how it had to be.

And the best way to forget about the girl she couldn’t have? Find one she could. 

* * *

Trini made her way to Z’s locker and saw the girl’s back to her. She leaned against the locker beside Z’s and crossed her arms. “Let’s get the hell outta here,” she said under her breath.

“Right,” Z snorted, turning to face her.

“I mean it,” Trini insisted. She let their hands brush. “No one’s at your place. We can spend the day havin’ sex and drinkin’ like we used to.”

“Before you got on the straight path.”

“Nothin’ ‘bout me is straight and you know it.”

Z snorted. “You know what I mean.” She looked Trini over. “You’re high off your ass. Y’don’t wanna skip.”

“I’m horny and need a day off from this shit,” Trini argued. “What’s wrong? Usually you’re all for spendin’ the day with me.”

“Trini…” Z sighed and looked around before grabbing Trini by the elbow and dragging her into the nearest bathroom. Trini found it easier to let the girl take her than fight it, and as the door closed behind them Trini missed seeing Kim walk by and turn to watch the two greasers disappear. Z looked under the stalls for feet then locked the door and turned to face Trini. “What’s up with you?”

“What do ya mean?”

“You haven’t gotten high before school in a long time. You’re impossible to reach or even find these days. I know you, Gomez, I know somethin’s up.”

Trini pushed the gorgeous soc and her gorgeous lips from her mind. “m’fine,” she said. “You bring me in here to get me off or can I go?”

“Are you losin’ sight of the endgame?” Z asked. “Graduation? Leavin’?”

“Ain’t losin’ sight,” Trini said, almost offended. “Look, I just wanted a day off. If you’re not into it anymore I’ll ask someone else.”

“I’m into it,” Z said with a nod. “Just wanna make sure you are.”

Trini moved up against Z, pushed her back to the door, and smirked at her. “Trust me, I’m into it.”

“Okay, okay…” Z nodded. “Not here though. Better split up so they don’t notice. Meet you at my house?”

“See you there.” Trini backed up and reached for the lock. Z moved off the door so Trini could open it and slip out. Trini started down the hall and soon saw Kim leaned back against a random locker, texting on her phone. But Kim’s gaze was raised and she watched Trini. Trini quickly looked away. Her phone buzzed the next second and she took it out to look.

**PRINCESS:** record breaking quickie

Trini’s jaw squared and she slid out the door and jogged off the grounds. She was through some trees when her phone buzzed again and she finally looked at it.

**PRINCESS:** skipping?  
**PRINCESS:** what happened? things were good last night.  
**GRUMPY:** That was last night. This is the real world.  
**PRINCESS:** don’t sleep with her  
**GRUMPY:** Says the girl with the boyfriend.  
**PRINCESS:** please

Trini stopped on the side of the road and sighed. Kim wasn’t being fair. Again. Not by a longshot. And Trini had no reason to feel guilty over what she was about to do, but she did. It was killing her high and she didn’t want to be bummed out. 

**GRUMPY:** leave me alone

She turned the phone off and pocketed it before continuing on her way to Z’s house. She needed a day to just forget it all.

* * *

The two girls sat in Z’s bed with a cheap bottle of vodka passing between them. Trini was feeling a lot better than she had when they arrived. Physically, she wanted to take the liquor from her friend and get things started, but mentally, and in her heart, she didn’t want to do anything. She and Z hadn’t been together in months, and Trini hadn’t been with anyone else so she did want it. Badly. But her mind kept going back to Kimberly. To how she wanted it to be Kim that she was with at the moment. And between the pot and the vodka, Trini wanted to open up to Z about it. She wanted to let it all out, but Z would never understand. Z cared about Trini too much to even try to understand, because Trini was clearly out of her mind and needed help. Had to be. She had made out with Kimberly Hart the night before. Like it was nothing...or everything. 

“So...gonna tell me what’s wrong?” Z asked.

“Nothin’ different,” Trini said with a shrug.

“You want me to believe that and let it go?”

Trini thought about it long enough for Z to reach out and take her hand. Trini forced a smirk on her lips. “Yeah, believe it.” She squeezed Z’s hand.

“Okay.” Z moved the vodka to the floor then leaned in and kissed Trini. 

They only made it through one round with each other before Trini felt like vomiting from the betrayal. She didn’t even know why she felt that way. She hadn’t betrayed Kim. They weren’t together. Kim understood that Trini had needs that she was going to get satisfied when she wanted to. But it didn’t turn that feeling off inside of Trini. It didn’t turn off her thoughts or her memories of kissing Kim only the night before.

She knew what she had said. She knew she had offered Z the entire day, but she couldn’t do it. She could barely do it one more minute. She was quickly off her feet and pulling her clothes on.

“The hell?” Z asked from the bed.

“I was wrong...I gotta be back at school,” Trini muttered.

“You okay? For real?”

“I just gotta go back to school,” Trini said, nodding. She pulled on her boots and tied them and stood, glancing back at her friend. “I’m sorry.”

“Nah, it’s fine,” Z shrugged. “I’ll be right behind ya.”

“I’ll see ya there,” Trini said before taking off.

She ended up back at school rather quickly. She snuck onto the grounds and headed to the back where the football field was. She crawled under the bleachers and settled down on her blanket on her back. She needed to get to class, but she was still a little drunk and she wanted to ride it out just a little longer. She stared at the sky pieced between the slats of the bleachers above her. She knew she’d have to tell Kim that she had slept with Z. For her own sake. She also knew Kim wouldn’t like it. Hell, if it were her hearing about Kim and Ty she’d probably be in a rage.

She wasn’t even sure how much her heart had been in it. Maybe she’d been trying to forget what she couldn’t have and insert what she could. That would have to stop. It wasn’t fair to Z. Trini sat up so she could light a cigarette and she took out her phone and turned it on. Once it booted up several text messages came in.

**PRINCESS:** if i could leave u alone i would have a long time ago  
**PRINCESS:** she’s meeting u somewhere isn’t she?  
**PRINCESS:** don’t sleep with her  
**PRINCESS:** please don’t  
**PRINCESS:** y are u doing this?  
**PRINCESS:** pls text me when u see these  
**PRINCESS:** i miss your lips & your hands on my neck

Trini sighed and rubbed her brow. Her fingers hovered over the keys of her phone. How could she say everything she was thinking in one text? She closed her phone and laid back on her blanket again. Some time passed before she heard someone approaching her, and she knew better than to be scared of who it would be.

“I didn’t think I’d actually find you here,” she heard Kim say.

Trini brought her cigarette to her lips and inhaled then let it out slowly. “Don’t got anywhere else to be til I sober up.”

“It’s barely noon.”

“Want somethin’ _ soc _?” Trini jerked when she felt Kim kick her foot. “What?”

“Sit up and talk to me,” Kim demanded. Trini sighed and sat up. She watched as Kim settled in on the blanket across from her, brushing her pale pink skirt out. 

Trini lifted her gaze to meet her eyes. “Whaddya wanna talk ‘bout?”

“I’ve been texting you all morning.”

“Battery died,” Trini lied with a shrug.

“Were you trying to get back at me for something by running off with her?”

“Not everythin’s ‘bout you, Princess,” Trini snorted. She took one last inhale on her cigarette and stubbed it out in the dirt.

“No, you just wanted to play around with your fuck buddy the morning after we kissed.”

Trini clenched her teeth and looked away. “Y’don’t know shit.”

“Because you don’t tell me.” 

“Then how’s this?” Trini looked at Kim again, her eyes set evenly. “Last night was a mistake. This mornin’ is how I should be livin’ my life.”

“By having sex with someone you say you don’t care about and drinking before you’ve even had lunch?” Kim slowly took Trini’s hand, and Trini didn’t pull away. “By hurting me?”

“Not fair,” Trini huffed. She let her thumb brush the soft skin on the back of Kim’s hand though, watching their joined hands. She listened to Kim sigh and Trini licked her lips, keeping quiet.

“You’re right,” Kim finally said. “It’s not fair for me to be jealous.”

“No, it ain’t.”

“But I am. When I saw her follow you out the door this morning I wanted to run after you and beg you to stay with me.”

“It’s so fucked up,” Trini whispered, unable to voice it all again. Kim knew all the things Trini was afraid of even if she didn’t understand them. Kim leaned in and pressed their foreheads together. Trini’s instinct was to pull away, but she didn’t want to. “...I’m sorry.”

“It won’t be easy,” Kim said. “But I still want what we talked about. When it’s just us I want to be yours. And I want you to be mine.”

Trini couldn’t deny Kim anything when she was that close. “I want that, too.” She watched her own thumb graze over Kim’s fingers. “I was...scared.”

“You’re allowed to be.”

“You should be in study hall.”

“Not when I needed to see my girl more,” Kim said, and the words made Trini smile softly. “And see her smile.”

“Such a sweet talker.”

“No, it’s true.” Kim kissed the corner of Trini’s lips. “I’m going to kiss you now.”

“I’m not gonna stop you,” Trini replied. And when they kissed, it felt a thousand times better than kissing anyone else. 

When they parted, Kim hummed. “I want to kiss you when you don’t taste like an ashtray.”

“So it’s not my health you’re lookin’ after?”

“There’s that, too.”

“I’ve cut down,” Trini admitted. It was true. Most of the time when she lit up she couldn’t help but see Kim’s face frowning back at her, and sometimes she was able to actually not give in.

“Are you hungry?” Kim pulled her backpack over and pulled out a lunch for Trini.

“Always.”

“Then eat.” Kim placed the bag in Trini’s lap.

“Not gonna eat with me?”

“If I don’t eat with my friends they’ll start rumours that I’m starving myself,” Kim said with an eyeroll. “Like I’m Amanda or something.”

“That bitch can starve to death for all I care,” Trini muttered. “I don’t know how you can still be friends with her.”

“Because if I’m not I make waves in the circle, and I can’t do that.”

“Aren’t you top bitch?” Trini asked, pulling out a sandwich.

Kim’s lips twitched in a smirk. “Top bitch might be a little harsh.”

“Nah, they hang on everythin’ you do. I’ve seen it.” She took a bite, and her stomach growled at the anticipation of nourishment for the first time that day. “Amanda wants your spot,” Trini went on. “s’why she’s still leadin’ the charge on me, and it’s why she had sex with your boyfriend. She’s gonna look for a way to drag you down.”

“Maybe I should let her,” Kim sighed. “I don’t even want it anymore. Any of it. I want to fly under the radar where no one watches every little thing I do.”

“So why be the elite?”

“I thought I wanted it when I was younger. I thought it would make me happy, and feel...I don’t know, more wanted.”

“But?”

“But it got exhausting. And...I met someone who made me realize that it was all a big joke. That what I wanted most was someone who really saw me and…” Kim’s gaze fell to the sandwich in Trini’s hands. “And someone who wanted me despite the fact that I’m not perfect.”

Trini swallowed and took Kim’s hand with one of her own, lacing their fingers together. “Even with your imperfections, you’re pretty damn perfect to me, Princess.”

“You’re into me, you’re supposed to say that.”

Polishing off the last of the sandwich, Trini stared at Kim’s face and chewed it up. She swallowed and took the bottle of water from the bag to sip from. She handed it out to Kim. “You were one of the first girls I let myself think was hot.”

“What?” Kim took the water.

“When we were twelve you came to school one day in this yellow sundress, and you still had long hair then and it was down around your shoulders, and, I mean, I hated you so much then ‘cause you gave me so much shit, but...my hormones didn’t hate you. I was like..._ damn _, girl is a bitch but she’s hot. From then on I tried to ignore it, but...now that I don’t hate you I can admit that...it never went away. Just got harder to accept.”

“I thought you were hot, too,” Kim said slowly. She reached out and stole one of the carrot sticks that Trini was eating. Trini choked on her food slightly.

“You’re lyin’,” Trini said.

“Nope.” Kim shook her head. “It fueled my supposed hate for you. I wasn’t as strong then, in feeling like the ‘us versus them’ was all wrong, I was more concerned with keeping my place and thought my doubts would go away. But you were always beautiful, and...well, you were one of the girls that helped me realize I’m bi.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you.”

Trini shook her head with a small smirk and took out a bag of chips. “Doesn’t explain why you’re still friends with them now.”

“I suppose...the same reasons I haven’t broken up with him,” Kim said. Trini crushed the chip in her hand and brushed the crumbs off her leg. “Because it’s what’s expected of me.”

“Hate expectations,” Trini muttered.

“Me too.” Kim wrapped her hand around Trini’s ankle and gave it a squeeze. “If I could run away with you, I would.”

“Really?”

“Really. Find somewhere new, somewhere where we can just be ourselves. In a perfect world.”

Trini drank some water again and twisted the cap back on the bottle. “World ain’t perfect,” she said.

“No, far from it,” Kim agreed.

Trini pulled a plastic spoon from the lunch bag and then took out a blue Jello cup. She grinned. “You got me blue? My favorite.”

“I know,” Kim chuckled.

“You know how to treat me right,” Trini said, peeling back the plastic of the cup. 

“By spoiling you with Jello?”

“That and other things.” She took a big spoonful and let it settle on her tongue for a moment before swallowing it down.

Kim let her fingers slip under Trini’s pant leg and stroked her skin softly. “I like spoiling you.”

“You don’t gotta do that. Not...not to make me like you.”

“I don’t do it to make you like me,” Kim said. “I do it because I want to.” Trini looked down and stabbed her Jello with her spoon for a few beats. “I do it because you deserve to be spoiled.”

“An’ what makes me deserve that, Princess?” Trini asked, looking up.

“I don’t know. By being you, I guess.”

“Not cuz I’m poor an’ you feel sorry for me?”

“I’d spoil you even if you were a soc,” Kim said.

Trini laughed. “Imagine that. Me a soc.”

“It could have easily happened.”

“Nah, my blood is greaser through and through. I was destined for all’a this,” Trini argued. Kim squeezed her bare ankle. 

“You say that like it’s a life sentence.”

“Ain’t it?”

“No. Because you’re getting out. You’ll be free soon.”

“What about you? When will you be free?”

Kim smiled sadly and shook her head. “Never.”

“You could run away after USC,” Trini replied. “You’ll be broke, but you’ll have a degree.”

“I’m not strong like you are, Trini. I could never run away.”

“I think you’re plenty strong.”

“Do you?” Kim asked, doubtfully.

Trini shoved the empty cup and spoon into the paper bag and set the bag aside. She wrapped her arms around Kim’s neck and leaned in close. “You pretend every day to be someone you ain’t, someone you hate bein’, and after seventeen years of it y’still manage to be...sweet, and open-minded, and...kind. You know what bein’ around me could do to your life, but you...recklessly, madly chase me anyway. You’re strong Kimberly Hart, and...the fact that y’don’t see it just makes it more attractive.”

Kim had a small smile on her lips, and she was quiet for a bit before she leaned in and kissed Trini softly. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Princess.”

* * *

Kim helped Trini to her feet and Trini took out her cigarettes. “Go back,” Trini said. “I’ll follow in a minute.”

“Okay,” Kim nodded. She stepped close and kissed Trini. “I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah, you will.” Kim smiled and backed off as she picked up her backpack and put it on. “Hey,” Trini said, before Kim could step away. “Tommy’s nose okay?”

Kim smirked and shook her head. “You broke it. She’s pretty pissed at you.”

“A’ight,” Trini sighed. “I’ll watch my back.”

“You’d better,” Kim said, walking backwards. “She’s going to try something.”

“Bring it,” Trini snorted.

Kim stopped, ran forward and crashed into Trini, kissing her again and laughing. “Be good, badass.”

“m’a angel,” Trini mumbled against Kim’s lips.

Kim only laughed more. “Of course you are.” She pecked Trini’s lips. “Bye.”

“See ya,” Trini replied, a smile on her lips as she watched Kim turn to go. Kim turned to look at Trini over her shoulder.

“Enjoy the view.”

“Oh, I am, Princess,” Trini nodded. “I am.”

“By the way,” Kim looked over her shoulder. “Leave me in the morning without a goodbye one more time and you will _ never _ get in my pants.”

* * *

Trini made her way to her locker and barely had it open when Zack slid up beside her. “Where ya been, Crazy Girl?”

“Not here,” Trini answered.

“You skipped yesterday, disappeared this mornin’, what’s up?”

Trini looked over to her friend and met his eyes. He was watching her with care and concern. She wished she could tell him the truth, but he’d never even try to understand. “Had to take off yesterday before I got myself jumped,” she explained easily. “This mornin’...” She forced a smirk on her lips. “Was feelin’ a special kinda way only Z could help me with.”

Zack laughed and shook his head. “How is it you get laid more than me? Is it somethin’ I’m not doin’ right?”

“Yeah, bro,” Trini said, slamming her locker door shut. “You ain’t me.”

“Gotta get to class,” Zack said, still laughing. He held a hand out and Trini slapped it and shook it.

“Me, too,” she said. “Catch ya later?”

“Yeah,” Zack nodded, starting to walk away. “Campfire tonight? You keep blowin’ us off.”

Guilt radiated through Trini at that, because it was true. She had been. “Yeah, tonight,” she said with a nod. Kim would have to understand that Trini needed to put some focus into her friends.

* * *

Trini managed to make it through the rest of her day without any trouble. Tommy didn’t appear to be in school that day, and that was good for Trini. She walked home with Billy and Zack, parting with promises to meet them later that night. She got home and hung out with her brothers for a bit before she shut herself in her bedroom and laid back on her bed. She was only laying there for five minutes before she took out her phone and stared at some previous texts from Kim she had yet to delete, and she sent a new one.

**GRUMPY:** I miss you.  
  


She grinned when she got a response immediately.

**PRINCESS:** miss u 2. miss kissing u  
**GRUMPY:** I miss that too. Be happy just to look at you.  
**PRINCESS:** u could if u meet me 2nite  
**GRUMPY:** Can’t. Got plans.  
**PRINCESS:** better plans than kissing me?

Trini considered that. As much as she loved her boys and sitting around the campfire with them and some beers, and as firm as she had been with herself earlier that she would, she definitely liked kissing Kim more. She thought about it for a few more minutes and Kim got impatient.

**PRINCESS:** u don’t know???

A picture came in of Kim majorly pouting and Trini’s resolve quickly faded.

**GRUMPY:** Gotta meet before sundown so they don’t see me.  
**PRINCESS:** An hour? I’ll bring the snacks  
**GRUMPY:** See you then.

Trini stared at the messages and the picture for a while then painstakingly went through and deleted them all. She didn’t think anyone would mess with her phone, but it was safer to not save any communications. She had already, with much difficulty, convinced Kim to do the same every day. She hated it. When she was done she sent Billy and Zack a quick text, too.

**TRINI:** Not feeling well. Maybe tomorrow?  
**BILLY:** Feel better soon!  
**ZACK:** Yeah whatever.

She felt guilty, really guilty, and she would have to make it up to them. But her girl wanted her. And for once, yeah, she was gonna be that kinda girl to blow off her friends without shame for a pretty girl. Trini set her phone down and got up and dug around for her favorite non-holey pair of black jeans and tugged them on. She went through all of her drawers until she found her ‘wonder 90s’ yellow shirt before heading down the hall to the bathroom. She washed her face, brushed her teeth and hair, and braided three braids into the side of her head. She let her mom know she was going out with Billy and Zack, got a grunt of a reply, and went back to her room to put on her boots and a flannel shirt. She checked her phone again and dialed the automated number that revealed her balance. She winced. She really needed to see if she had enough cash saved up for new minutes. She had just taken money out of her home bank for her brother’s meds and the power bill so she doubted she had much left. One thing after another. As always. It didn’t help her quickly depleting savings that she kept getting more detentions for skipping for Kim. Her Tío still wouldn’t let her work on school days, either.

Trini grabbed her knife and slipped it into her pocket, more concerned than ever about angry socs, and she left the house through the front door. She walked quickly to the mines and bypassed the campfire, which was empty luckily, then went through the woods to the clearing. Kim wasn’t there yet so Trini sat on the edge of the biggest rock -- different than that of the smaller one further from the edge that they usually slept on -- and let her feet dangle. She lit up a cigarette, vowing it to be the only one for the night and to not smoke in front of Kim, and she let herself relax. She hadn’t realized how on edge she had been trying to arrive there before the boys showed up at the campfire she had to pass. The cigarette really wasn’t helping so she took out her mint tin and opened it up. Something else she would have to get her hands on soon. She rolled her last joint and lit up. Only a few puffs in, Kim’s hands settled on Trini’s shoulders making her jump. She looked over her shoulder and saw Kim’s smiling face and returned it.

“Hey,” Trini said.

“Hey,” Kim replied. She kissed Trini’s cheek and reached down to snag the joint from her. “Have you been waiting long?”

“Nope.” She leaned back against Kim’s chest and closed her eyes. “Not long at all.”

* * *

Trini was in the same spot but spread out on her back, and Kim was sitting on her hips while leaning down and kissing her. Kim’s hips moved in a repetitive, slow rocking motion against Trini’s, and Trini had her hands under the back of Kim’s shirt. Their kisses were heated and hungry, and Trini burned with a kind of desire she had never known. Trini broke the kiss to gasp for air. Kim tore her lips down Trini’s jaw and neck.

“Don’t-don’t gimmie hickies,” Trini said.

“Aw, but I want to,” Kim whined, muffled by Trini’s neck.

Trini continued to move her fingers up and down the skin of Kim’s back. “I tell Zack ‘bout who I bang.” She tried to push Kim off her neck. “If my neck looks all sucked on he’ll wanna know who did it.” Her eyes closed when Kim pushed her shirt up and moved her hands up her stomach. “‘sides,” she went on. “m’supposed to be sick tonight.” With a burden-ridden sigh, Kim sat up and looked down at Trini. Her eyes had a heavy gaze and her lips were red and puffy. She looked hot. “You bring anythin’ to drink?” Trini asked, trying to change the subject.

“Don’t want to drink.” Kim lowered herself to kiss Trini again.

“You keep rubbin’ against me like you’re doin’ and I’mma hafta stick my hand down my pants.” She felt Kim’s grin against her lips.

“I could put _ my _ hand down your pants.”

“Ain’t ‘bout to have sex with you for the first time out here.”

“Where do you expect we’ll do it?”

“...I dunno,” Trini replied. In a perfect world? A beautiful, soft bed somewhere. In their world? She had to admit that whenever it did happen it would probably be there. But she also didn’t want to rush into it with Kim. She told herself it was because Kim deserved more, but deep down...she was terrified that Kim would lose interest once they had sex. She pushed Kim up, both of them breathing hard. “We got all night, Princess. Let’s have a drink.”

“Fine.” Kim got to her feet and helped Trini to hers, then she wrapped her arms around Trini’s waist. “I can’t stay out all night. I told my parents I’d be home before 11 and that’s one of the few things they would notice.”

“Okay, I’ll make sure you don’t turn into a pumpkin.”

Kim kissed Trini lightly then pulled away and went to the bag she had brought with her. She pulled out a bottle and held it up. “I brought the gin since you liked it last time.”

Trini walked over and took it. “Won’t your dad know his stuff’s goin’ missin’?”

Kim shrugged. “He drinks every night and replaces it when it’s out. He’s never said anything before, and I’ve been taking what I want for years.”

Trini brought the bottle to her lips and drank then wiped the back of her mouth. “Ms. Goody-Goody soc is a big time drinker?”

“Not big time,” Kim said, bristling. “Just...sometimes. It...makes everything blurry.”

Trini wrapped her arm around Kim’s hip and slid her hand into Kim’s back pocket. “Hey, y’don’t gotta explain to me about needin’ to make the world fuzzy for awhile. I’ve tried every drug offered to me, I drink...I get it. Just wish...you didn’t.”

Kim cupped Trini’s cheeks with two hands and bent to peck her lips. “You somehow make my world blurry and bright all at once.”

“I hope I keep doin’ that,” Trini whispered.

Kim tugged the bottle from Trini’s grip. “I do have some pretty cool news.”

“Your folks gettin’ you your own apartment to be our love cave?”

Kim laughed warmly at that and shook her head. “No. They’re taking me to India to visit family for Spring Break!”

“All the way to India, huh?”

“Just the three of us, no work, no personal assistants.”

And the sudden light on Kim’s face made Trini feel warm inside despite the initial sadness of not seeing Kim for a whole week. “That sounds real nice,” she said, honestly.

“Obviously I’ll miss you,” Kim said. “I kinda doubt you have international texting.”

“Nah, I don’t.”

Kim brought their lips together again. “Will you miss me?”

“You know I will.”

“How much?”

“My hand’s gonna have a permanent cramp, Princess.”

* * *

Trini sat on one of the blankets with her knees bent and feet planted on the ground. Kim sat across from her with her legs extended in a V. They both had cards in their hands as well as between them, and they were staring each other down with narrowed eyes.

“Hmm…” Kim hummed. “Got any sixes?”

Trini glanced down at her cards and the two sixes that sat in her hand, and her eyes narrowed more. “You’re cheatin’,” Trini huffed. She took the two cards from her hand and held them out. A delighted Kim took them, added them to her own, and lay them out between them. Kim had a lot more cards out than Trini did. Kim was _ really _ good at Go-Fish. “Ain’t over yet,” she said stubbornly.

“You think you can turn this around?” Kim asked, raising a brow.

“Hell yeah I can.”

“Want to make a bet?”

“Five bucks.”

“No, I’m not taking your money,” Kim said, shaking her head.

“Why not? It’s just as good as yours.”

“I was thinking something...more exciting.” 

Trini met the soc’s eyes and saw something mischievous in them. “Like…?”

“If I win I get to go to second base. If you win you can...get to whatever base you want.”

Excitement shot through Trini and she gulped. “I-I-I mean...that is…” Trini was broken. Kim chuckled. “O-okay.” Trini shrugged like it didn’t bother her. Like she wasn’t already thinking about what she would do. 

“Do you have any threes?” Kim asked.

Trini beamed. “Go. Fish. Princess.” She watched Kim draw a card and tuck it into her hand. She looked at her own cards again. “Got any twos?”

“Go Fish,” Kim said sweetly. Trini gritted her teeth and drew a card, and it wasn’t a two. She looked up at Kim, and Kim looked happy when she realized Trini’s turn was over. “Do you have any eights?” 

Trini nearly growled as she pulled three cards from her hand and held them out. “This game is dumb.”

“You only think it’s dumb because you’re losing.”

“Your face is losin’,” Trini snapped.

“And you’re losing _ sorely _,” Kim goaded. 

“Y’know if we were playin’, like, poker or rummy, I’d be winnin’.”

“And I don’t think either of those are good ideas if Go-Fish is this ugly.”

“Finish your turn.”

“Okay, Trini darling, do you have any fours?”

Trini took her four out of her hand and handed it over, glad it was only one card, but her jaw dropped when Kim laid out her last cards, all fours, and threw her hands up in victory. Trini shook her head. “I wanna rematch.”

“You can have your rematch _ after _ I have my reward.”

“Oh? You wanna reward? How’s this?” Trini scooted closer until her legs overlapped Kim’s. “How’s this reward?”

“You’re bending my cards!”

“I’ll swipe you some new ones,” Trini said with a grin, moving in until they were pressed close together and she was practically in Kim’s lap.

Kim’s arms went around her to hold her there. “Oh, did I mention? Second base, under the clothes.”

“Nah, see, I didn’t agree to that.”

“Yeah you did.” Kim said, already inching her hand under Trini’s shirt. “Now kiss me.”

Trini looped her arms around Kim’s neck to keep her balance. “No please?”

Kim ducked her chin to brush their lips together. “Kiss me, beautiful.”

“Keep callin’ me that an’ you can touch me anywhere you want,” Trini said before connecting their lips. They kissed slowly at first, but as it heated up Trini pressed herself closer to Kim. She felt Kim’s hand at her bra, pushing it up, and then Kim was squeezing her breast, skin to skin. Trini moaned. Kim squeezed harder. Trini brought her own hand up and covered Kim’s over her shirt to hold it there. Kim flicked her thumb against Trini’s nipple. Trini grunted, her teeth catching Kim’s lip, and she heard Kim moan in return.

The air between them was suddenly too stifling and there were too many clothes. Trini’s nails scraped down the back of Kim’s neck, accidentally tugging her hair. Trini tore her lips free and rested their foreheads together just as Kim flicked at her nipple again, and Trini felt it all the way down between her legs.

“M-maybe that’s enough,” Trini whispered.

“But what about the other one?”

“It’s the same as the one you got.”

“Two handed appreciation?”

Trini laughed and pulled Kim’s hand free from her shirt. “You’re…” She shook her head, but smiled still.

“Charming? Gorgeous?”

“A hornball,” Trini clarified. She reached under her shirt herself to readjust her bra then returned her arm to Kim’s neck. “Gonna get me all hot’n bothered before you leave me?”

Kim settled her hands on Trini’s ass to tug her close again. Trini struggled to stay balanced on her own. Though she was sure that wasn’t why Kim’s hands were where they were. “All you have to do is resist me,” Kim whispered.

“Easy,” Trini replied.

“You say that now, but you haven’t seen me dance.”

“Saw those recitals they used to do when we were kids.”

“That was nothing,” Kim said, her voice thicker suddenly. “Mine involves nothing but you, me, and a chair.”

Trini groaned. “Princess…”

“I thought it was easy.”

She responded to Kim with a kiss. “Nothin’ ‘bout resistin’ you is easy.”

“Then why resist me?”

“Because you have ten minutes ‘til you’re supposed to be home.”

“And you’re saved by my parents.” Kim kissed her again, deeply, before pulling away and letting go of her. Trini stood and helped Kim to her feet. “We should clean up the cards and blanket.”

“I got it,” Trini said with a shrug. “Can’t go home til mornin’ anyway. Guys’ll see me. Unless I wanna go ‘round your neighborhood, but that might be more painful.” She bent down and started collecting the cards.

“So...you’re going to stay out here all night?”

“Looks like it.” Trini stood and held the deck of cards out to Kim. 

“If you give me an hour or two I can sneak back out,” Kim suggested, taking them.

“And sneak back in?”

“Out my window, in my window, no problem.”

Trini smiled softly. “You just wanna cuddle again.”

“You know it.”

* * *

Trini crept out of the woods late the next morning. Kim had long since left her alone, and Trini hung out on her own for a few more hours. Long enough to know that Zack and Billy should have been in school. If Zack was behaving. She stilled when she saw the campsite and looked around. All she could see was the dissipating smoke of the fire. She stuffed her hands in her pockets and continued on, making her way back into town and down the road to school. She knew she would get to school sometime after second period started, but she didn’t care. Better some detention than the boys seeing her any earlier. She was just approaching the front doors when she was grabbed from behind and dragged aside behind the bushes. She tried to fight, but her hands were pinned by her back. She was flipped around and slammed back into the brick wall of the school, and she came face to face with Tommy, who had a bandage over her nose.

“You’re late, greaser,” Tommy said, a certain delight in her crazy eyes.

“So’re you,” Trini replied, keeping her chin up with pride.

Tommy laughed and held a struggling Trini against the wall. “Like my new accessory? Huh?”

“Yeah, really becomes you.”

“You don’t learn, do you?” Tommy shook her head and shoved Trini back again, and Trini felt pain radiate through her skull from the force of it all. “You need to talk to me with respect. You’re no better than the dog shit I wipe off of my shoe.”

“Think we can both agree I smell better,” Trini teased, not giving into the fear Tommy wanted from her.

“You smell like a dirty, greaser rat,” Tommy bit. “And if you hold real still, this might not hurt as much.”

“You talk everyone to death like this or is this just for me?” And Trini didn’t flinch as Tommy wound up and sucker punched her in the gut. Trini coughed and tried to catch her breath. Tommy hit her again and again, and Trini moved to double over, but Tommy kept her still against the wall. When Tommy pulled her fist back again Trini anticipated the next blow, but was wrong when it landed on her face instead. Her eye exploded in pain, but she didn’t cry out. Tommy hit her again, getting her top lip, and blood immediately burst from Trini's mouth. 

Tommy backed up, rubbing her knuckles with a dark chuckle. “I should break your fucking nose, but I’m not in the mood to get tainted by more of your blood.” She laughed at her own joke and backed out of the bushes. “Just remember who has the power between us and who’s going to spend a miserable life in the gutter.” And then she was gone.

Trini went down and curled up in the dirt in pain. Her eye watered on its own and it burned painfully. The metallic, bitter taste of blood coated her mouth. She knew she couldn’t go to the nurse. She knew she would only get in trouble for fighting, even though she hadn’t fought back. It was just the way it was for her kind. She was tempted to text Zack to ask him come help her, but she didn’t want him skipping class. And if she went to class herself? She’d just be sent to the nurse. She pulled herself to her feet, her stomach surely already bruised the way it felt, and she slowly made her way back to the bleachers, spitting blood and pausing at the pain in her head all the way. She only got her blanket half unwrapped before falling down onto it and curling up on her side. She tentatively brought two fingers up to the skin beneath her eye and hissed at the pain there. It sent her to her knees and she vomited beside the blanket before laying back down. She wrapped her arms around her waist and held it as though she could feel better from the action. Between the nausea and pain, and the ache still present in her head, she passed out quickly, her body simply giving up.


	9. shoot me down but i won't fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Titanium by David Guetta, song in chapter is Wouldn't It Be Nice by The Beach Boys

_ "I'm bulletproof nothing to lose  
fire away, fire away  
ricochet, you take your aim  
fire away, fire away  
you shoot me down but I won't fall, I am titanium" _

* * *

Trini came around a couple of times, but only groaned and repositioned before going back to sleep. Her body knew she needed to be unconscious, and she was grateful. She didn’t know how much time had passed or what time of day it was until she heard a shout nearby.

“Trini!” She woke up to Kim on her knees beside her, pulling Trini’s head into her lap. “Trini, what happened?!”

“m’fine,” Trini said, muffled by a fat lip. She tried to pull away, her only concern to not get blood on Kim. Kim held her down and she weakly tried to fight the soc off. “Your skirt.”

“Fuck my skirt,” Kim hissed. “Who did this? Was it Tommy?”

“She ain’t been braggin’ ‘bout it?”

“I haven’t seen her since this morning,” Kim replied, stroking her fingers through Trini’s hair.

“Ow!” Trini flinched at the pain she could still feel on the back of her head. 

Kim let go of Trini like she was on fire. “Sorry! I’m sorry.” Kim looked helpless above Trini and Trini shook her head. “I’m so sorry this happened.”

Trini’s eyes drifted shut. Well, her eye. The other was too swollen to open. “s’fine,” Trini mumbled. “m’fine.”

“You’re not fine! Wait, hold on.” Kim took off her backpack and dug through it for one of the lunches inside. She took out a napkin and the water and wet the napkin slightly before trying to wipe the blood from Trini’s face. She held the bottle to Trini’s swollen eye. “I know it’s not very cold...you need to see the nurse, Trini.”

“Nurse ain’t on my side.”

Kim rooted around in her bag again and pulled out a little ziplock bag with white pills in it. “Here then, take one of these.”

“Whassat?”

Kim helped Trini lean up enough to put the pill in her mouth and drink some water. “Vicodin.”

“Serious drug.”

“Sometimes I need some serious blurrying.”

Trini settled back in Kim’s lap and sighed. “Ain’t here to judge you.”

“What can I do for you?”

“Just...need time to get my strength back. Got a doc on the southside who’ll see me no questions asked. Won’t take money from kids who get beat on.”

“Isn’t sooner better though?”

“Hey,” Trini caught Kim’s hand and held it tight. “This ain’t the first time and it won’t be the last. I’ll be fine.”

“I can’t sit here with you like this and do nothing.”

“Nothin’ you _ can _ do, Princess. But sittin’ with me? That helps.” Trini gazed up at the girl with her one good eye, and maybe it was her possible concussion, but she could swear Kim had a halo of light around her.

Kim softly stroked Trini’s uninjured cheek with her thumb. “I’m not going anywhere until you feel strong enough to go.”

Trini wanted to fight with Kim. Wanted to insist she go to class. But for just once she wanted to be really selfish and keep the soc there with her. “How bad do I look? Be real with me.”

And Kim smiled. “Beautiful, as always.”

“Bull.”

“Beautiful, and strong.”

“I’d say kiss me, but you probably shouldn’t.”

Kim moved her thumb for a moment and leaned down to kiss Trini’s cheek as gently as she could. “As soon as you’re better, those lips are mine.”

“These lips are always yours,” Trini replied, feeling the drug kick in on her empty stomach. She reached up and caught a lock of Kim’s hair between two fingers. “My angel.”

Kim smirked, stroking Trini’s cheek again. “Are you high?”

“Yesssss,” Trini said happily. She also wasn’t feeling any pain. Just vague aches. “Who knew Kimberly Hart wasn’t a good girl?”

“I tried that and it was incredibly boring.”

“Jus’ can’t believe…” Trini said slowly. “You never did pot, but you pop pills.”

“Easier access. And I was never fond of the idea of smoking anything.”

Trini hummed and closed her eye. “Gotta be careful.”

“I am,” Kim assured. “I...honestly haven’t had a lot of reason to take one since we started hanging out.”

That brought a smirk to Trini’s lips. “m’I your drug, Pri’cess?”

Kim chuckled at Trini’s more slurred speech, and she leaned down to kiss her cheek again then murmured into the skin there, “More than you know.”

“You’re a drug,” Trini went on, like she hadn’t even heard Kim. “Hottest, prettiest, sweetest drug ever.”

“You’re only saying that because you’re high.”

Trini opened her eye and gazed up at Kim again, almost in awe. “It’s true. Feel high ‘round you all the time.”

“Ssh,” Kim murmured. “Whatever you’re trying to say you’ll probably regret when you come down.”

Trini knew Kim was right, and she was feeling sleepy again anyway, so she sighed. “Kay.”

“I’ll be right here. Sleep as long as you need.”

“I’ll sleep better f’you sing t’me,” Trini mumbled, resting her full weight against Kim’s chest.

“I’m not singing to you.”

“m’sure your voice is fine,” Trini assured. “Lookit me, Pri’cess...look what happen’ to me…” She patted Kim’s arm. “Jus’ sing to me, it’s okay.” She already felt herself slipping towards dreamland, and she figured that was the end of it, but a moment later she heard the most beautiful sound grace her ears.

_ “Wouldn't it be nice if we were older, then we wouldn't have to wait so long? And wouldn't it be nice to live together, in the kind of world where we belong…” _

* * *

When Trini woke again she felt groggy. She could still feel pain in her face, but it wasn’t as bad as it had been. Her stomach felt a bit better, too. She opened her good eye and looked up to see Kim still gazing down at her. She groaned and tried to sit up. “How long was I out?”

Kim helped her sit up and rubbed her back. “About an hour. How do you feel?”

“Umm,” Trini thought about it. “Still high, but less pain.”

“Do you think you can walk to that doctor?”

“Help me up.” Kim stood and took Trini’s hands to pull her to her feet. Trini wavered for a moment then stilled. “I’m good,” she nodded. “I think I’ll be fine.”

“Do you want to talk to me on the phone while you walk there?”

“Yeah,” Trini nodded. “But I can’t. Only got a few minutes left.”

“Tell me which prepaid card to buy for it. I’ll get it.”

“No.” Trini shook her head and winced as she bent to pick up her backpack. “Ain’t takin’ your charity.”

Kim held up her hands. “Okay, okay. Send me a text when you get there at least. Then I’ll worry a little less.”

“Don’t worry at all.”

“Now, that is not possible.” Kim crouched beside her bag and pulled two more pills from it and walked over to place them in Trini’s hand. “For later.”

“Who knew my soc Princess would be my drug dealer,” Trini said, pocketing the pills.

“Technically, you’re not paying for them so I don’t think I’m your dealer. Just a really good girlfriend.”

Trini’s smile faded. “But you’re not.”

“What?”

“You’re not...my girlfriend, are you? You’re his girlfriend.” Trini didn’t sound angry in her words, just factual. She watched Kim frown.

“I’m more like...his fake girlfriend.”

“No, you’re more like his fiancée.” She shook her head. “Know what? I don’t wanna do this now. We don’t...gotta try an’ label it. If we did...I’d bow out.”

“Oh,” Kim said.

“I’ll text you when I get there.”

“Yeah. Get some rest after.”

“I will.”

* * *

Trini was on her bed sprawled on her back with a bag of frozen corn on her eye and a bag of frozen peas on her mouth. The boys had worried over her when they got home from school and found her passed out in bed, but they had since left her in the silence she needed. She didn’t know how long she had been laying there, zoned out on another pill, but suddenly Zack was in her room towering over her.

“Trin…” He said.

She lifted the peas so she could talk, albeit painfully. “Sup?”

“Tommy was braggin’ today that she kicked your ass and I didn’t see ya so I thought I’d check up. You know how much this stuff upsets Billy, though. He said to tell ya to feel better.” He sat down on the edge of her bed by her knees and set a hand to one. “How do ya feel?”

“She didn’t kick my ass,” Trini muttered. “I’m still kickin’.”

“Bitch wishes she kicked your ass,” he corrected. “Can I get you anything? Somethin’ for the pain?”

“Pain’s bein’ managed,” she mumbled. “There is somethin’ you can get me and...if you can, I’ll owe ya. Might need you to spot me a few.”

“What’s that?”

“There’s a twenty in the cigar box over there,” she said, pointing to her dresser. “Can you go to the corner store and get me the cheapest prepaid card they got for minutes for my phone?”

“Yeah, you got it,” he nodded.

“And if you can score me a bottle of somethin’...vodka, tequila...you know I ain’t picky.”

He snorted. “How ‘bout I get you some extra long straws, too? It’ll burn like hell otherwise.”

“Good idea,” she said, covering her lip again.

Zack gave her knee a squeeze. “We’ll get her back for this.”

“_ I’mma _ get her back,” Trini clarified. 

“A’ight, lemme run to the store.” Zack got up and found the twenty. “I’ll be back.”

“And tell those kids they ain’t supposed to be openin’ the door themselves!” She called at his retreating back.

* * *

If Zack told the twins anything they didn’t listen, because they let him back in when he returned an hour later. He left Trini with a cheap bottle of vodka and the prepaid card she needed, and he said his goodbyes and left. It wasn’t the best time for Trini to have anyone over to talk. She sat up long enough to activate her phone card and get her minutes upped, then she opened the vodka and popped in one of the long straws Zack had indeed found for her, and she took a long sip. She knew that getting high on pain meds and drinking while she was responsible for her brothers was...irresponsible, and not something she would normally do, but she was in a lot of pain. She knew they understood she had been hurt and would behave til their parents got home. They were good kids. She laid back down and repositioned the two new, more frozen bags of vegetables on her face and held her phone up so she could see it as she sent Kimberly a text. She smiled, achingly, at how quickly Kim replied.

**GRUMPY:** Got some minutes. Still not a lot but for now we can text.  
**PRINCESS:** YAY!! now i can blow off hw  
**GRUMPY:** Don’t blow off your homework for me.   
**PRINCESS:** just til later. wanna text u. how’s my baby feeling?  
**GRUMPY:** Sore. Really sore. Buzzed tho.  
**PRINCESS:** [pouty face] i wish i could take care of u 2nite  
**GRUMPY:** Me too. Could use your kisses all over about now.  
**PRINCESS:** now we’re talking. i’d totally kiss u all over if u let me  
**GRUMPY: ** Not what I meant.  
**PRINCESS:** i’d kiss ur boobs  
**GRUMPY:** Princess.  
**PRINCESS: ** really wanna try kissing u between ur thighs  
**GRUMPY:** Kimberly stop. Don’t make me horny when I feel so bad.  
**PRINCESS:** sooo the thought of me kissing you there makes you horny???  
**GRUMPY: **The thought of you makes me horny.

Trini sipped from her vodka straw again and tried not to smile at the conversation. Somewhere in the mix of drugs, alcohol, and the vulnerability of her pain, it made it so much easier to just talk to Kim. Without concern of what she was actually saying. Trini liked it, but she also knew she would regret it later.

**PRINCESS:** me 2. with u. when we’re alone & kissing it’s so hard 2 stop myself from exploring ur body. being close to u it’s hard 2 go home and not touch myself 2 feel better.

Choking on her vodka, Trini groaned. Kim sure had a way with words. 

**GRUMPY:** I know the feeling. It’s better to hold back tho. Don’t wanna rush it you know?  
**PRINCESS:** i kinda do wanna rush it. that’s my point.  
**GRUMPY:** We’ve barely started to figure this out. You still have a boyfriend. I think sex can wait.  
**PRINCESS:** if u wanna wait til i break up with him we’ll never get there. u no where i stand.  
**GRUMPY:** I know. I get it. Whatever we have, however long we have it, it’ll be behind his back. It’s still hard to think about giving myself to you when part of you will still be with him.

For a long time Kim didn’t respond, and Trini fretted. Had she gone too far? Said too much? She called herself stupid, and she let go of the straw in such a way that it dropped some vodka on her broken lip. She cried out and held her face in pain for a moment. When it finally subsided she picked her phone up again.

**PRINCESS:** he has my hand. if i fall 4 u like i think i will u’ll have my [heart]. that’s more of me than he’s ever had. i no it’s all so complicated but all we have is now. today. i’m not thinking about tomorrow beyond seeing ur face. i’m just thinking about now and talking to u. i’m thinking about how my [heart] is pounding bc of u.  
**GRUMPY:** You’re right. I’m bad at getting stuck in my head. I’m happy to have any part of you.

And Trini meant it. It was hard to keep reminding herself that they couldn’t have things exactly as she wanted them. Kim wasn’t pulling anything on her. It was just how things had to be. Trini groaned as she moved the vodka to the floor before laying back again. She was feeling extra woozy and sleepy. She knew she would fall asleep any minute.

**PRINCESS:** don’t get stuck. stay with me.  
**GRUMPY:** Gonna fall asleep soon.  
**PRINCESS: ** sweet dreams. text me later and tell me how ur feeling.  
**GRUMPY:** Sweet dreams of you.  
**PRINCESS:** charmer.

* * *

When Trini awoke again her room was completely dark and her bedroom door was shut. She whimpered as she leaned up to reach for her lamp and turn it on. She blinked as her vision adjusted to the lit room, and she looked down. The frozen vegetables that had fallen from her face were different than they had been when she fell asleep which meant someone had changed them for her. She knew she needed to go in search of some dinner, but for the moment she groaned and laid back down. She was still sore, and she no longer felt high or drunk, so she could feel all of it. She picked up her phone to check it and saw that Kim had sent her another text.

**PRINCESS:** r u staying home tomorrow?  
**GRUMPY:** Think so yeah.  
**PRINCESS:** do ur parents work during the day? will u be home alone?  
**GRUMPY:** Yeah they should both be gone 2morrow. Why?  
**PRINCESS:** i can get a sick note and be ur nurse 2morrow  
**GRUMPY: ** That’s a terrible idea. You could get caught.  
**PRINCESS:** still have my greaser clothes. i’ll dress up and sneak over. just wanna be with u.

Trini sighed. It _ was _ a bad idea. It was a terrible idea. True, her parents would be gone all day and her brothers wouldn’t be home until four, but even toeing the line was dangerous. But...Kimberly...Kimberly taking care of Trini…

She was too weak for Kim’s bad ideas.

**GRUMPY:** Okay. But BE CAREFUL. Come after 9 all the neighbors will be off at work.  
**GRUMPY:** Actually be here by 930 or I’ll flip out and get off my busted ass to look for you.  
**PRINCESS:** u worry so much. i’ll b there. not a minute l8r. how was ur sleep? how does ur face feel?

Tenderly, Trini touched her face. It did ache less. It felt a little less swollen, but not by much. She hoped it would go down overnight. Her stomach growled so she got up and walked out of her room and to the kitchen as she replied to Kim.

**GRUMPY:** Face feels better. About to get food and take another pill. Tommy done gloating yet?  
**PRINCESS:** yes please do eat. she isn’t. won’t stop 4 a while. wish i could tell every1 she didn’t beat you as badly as she says. no i wish i could punch her. right in her face.  
**GRUMPY: **Defending my honor? Might just swoon.

Trini found her mom in the kitchen washing dishes. She felt badly that she couldn’t help. The floor creaked under her feet and her mom glanced back at her before turning back to the sink.

“There’s a plate for you in the microwave. Heat it up for two minutes.”

“Thanks,” Trini mumbled. She hit the time on the microwave and pressed start. She stared in at the food for a minute before she felt herself get turned around by her mother.

June took hold of Trini’s chin and tipped her head this way and that to examine her face. “What did you do?”

“Nothin’, Mamí.”

The older woman snorted. “I’m sure.” She let go of Trini and looked her up and down. “What else?” Trini pulled up her tee shirt and showed her bruised stomach. “I’ll bring you a hot water bottle. Keep icing your face tonight. You’ll stay home tomorrow.” And with that, Trini’s mom turned and left the kitchen. Trini let out a huff of air and took her plate from the beeping microwave. She sat down at the table with it and checked her phone again before she dug in.

**PRINCESS:** just call me ur princess in shining armour. if u swoon i’ll catch u i promise [winky face]  
**GRUMPY: **Mami confirmed I’m staying home tomorrow. Don’t think she’s happy with how I look.

“Trini, did you teach them a lesson?” Xander asked at her side. She looked down at him and frowned.

“Who?”

“The person that hurted you.”

She was torn. Did she want to tell the truth or did she want to sound like the hero she seemed to be to her brothers? A girl who could give as good as she got. She stabbed her fork into the broccoli on her plate, but didn’t eat it. “No, buddy, not this time.”

“Why not?”

“‘Cuz sometimes you can’t. Sometimes you just gotta take it.”

“Even you?”

“Even me,” she nodded. “I can’t take everyone on. If I try it’ll just hurt more.”

“Why?” He asked, confusion etched on his small features.

“Because some’a them are a lot bigger than me. Some’a them fight better than me.” It was hard to admit to herself much less to Xander, but he had inherited the same small size she had, and he needed to learn before it was too late. “Sometimes the people that can protect you against the ones like that aren’t around, and it hurts. A lot. But those socs, they get it outta their systems and then they leave ya alone for awhile. Fightin’ a battle you can’t win...that just gives ‘em more fuel. And it hurts you more.” She reached out to ruffle his hair. “That’s why people say pick your battles.”

Xander still looked saddened by the reminder that his sister wasn’t invincible, but he nodded. “I think I understand.”

“Listen though,” she leaned down with a conspiratorial whisper, “There’s more of ‘em I can beat than ones I can’t.” She smirked and raised a finger to her lips. Xander grinned at her and ran off.

“Javi! Trini’s okay!” He shouted across the house. Trini went back to eating her food and texting on her phone.

**PRINCESS:** well mami can join the club. i’m not happy about it either [frowny face]  
**PRINCESS:** googling how fast i can order a nurse’s uniform. will let u no.  
**PRINCESS:** 2 days is 2 long. guess u have to settle for no uniform.  
**GRUMPY:** I don’t need any uniform. Just you.   
**PRINCESS:** rn’t you sweet? sure u want 2 be stuck with me all day?  
**GRUMPY:** Absolutely positive.  
**PRINCESS:** feel up 2 talking yet? miss ur voice.  
**GRUMPY:** Mouth still hurts. Let me rest it up for tomorrow.  
**PRINCESS:** oh yeah u better  
**GRUMPY:** You’re crazy Princess.  
**PRINCESS:** crazy about u.

Trini tried to slow down her texts to Kim so that she wouldn’t burn through her minutes. It was hours later when she was curled up in bed again that the conversation turned more serious on her.

**PRINCESS: **u said earlier that if we had to label this u’d bow out. y?

The question made her head swim more than it already was on her last pain pill. She stared at the words until they blurred on the screen. Did she even know what she had meant? Did she know how to explain what she thought she had meant? She laid there for a long time trying to come up with something to say, something that wouldn’t upset Kim.

**GRUMPY:** If we had to label it I’d lose. I know that. I would make myself step back before hearing from your lips that you pick him over me. More than you already have that is.  
**PRINCESS:** i’m sorry. honestly i picked u over him the first time i held ur hand and kissed ur cheek. if this is a territorial thing i don’t know how to help.  
**GRUMPY:** It’s not. I don’t know why I said what I said. I was messed up. Yeah the idea of him touching you makes me rage but it’s your life not mine.  
**PRINCESS:** no need 2 rage. i haven’t had sex with him since i realized i was in2 u. the thought just repulses me now.  
**GRUMPY:** Really?  
**PRINCESS:** really. i want the next person i’m with 2 be u. whenever ur ready.  
**GRUMPY:** You’re not scared of your first time with a girl?  
**PRINCESS:** nervous. but since it’ll b u i’m excited.  
**GRUMPY:** Guess I’ll hafta bring my A game.  
**PRINCESS:** or just bring u. that’s enough.  
**GRUMPY:** You’ve got all the right words Princess.  
**PRINCESS:** no. just not afraid to tell u the truth.  
**PRINCESS: ** u’ve been up 4 awhile. get more sleep. i’ll b there 2morrow.  
**GRUMPY:** I can’t wait Princess.

* * *

At exactly 9:31 AM the next day, Trini and Kim laid tangled up on Trini’s small twin sized bed. Trini had received one single light as air kiss against her lips when they settled in and she relaxed against Kim’s chest with the worst side of her face facing up. Kim stroked Trini’s back gently as their hearts beat nervously in their new surroundings. Kim picked up the frozen vegetables that Trini had brought in her room with them and she placed one bag on Trini’s eye and the other on her lip.

“Doesn’t look as scary as it did yesterday,” Kim murmured.

“Didn’t look so scary then either.”

“You didn’t see it when I found you,” Kim said softly. “I saw you on the ground, bloody like that, and I thought you were dead for a second.”

Trini tipped her head back a bit to look up into Kim’s eyes. She hadn’t even considered that she had looked that bad. She reached up and brushed her palm against Kims cheek. “Ain’t no soc gonna kill me, Princess,” she promised.

“Promise me,” Kim whispered. “Promise no matter how bad it gets you won’t let them take you from me.”

“Cross my heart,” Trini swore. “I got a few months of happiness with you to live for.”

“And a lifetime of it anywhere but here after that.”

“Don’t wanna think ‘bout that part yet,” Trini mumbled. “Just our chapter for now.” Kim scratched her stomach, and the feel of Kim’s nails on it made Trini jump. “Careful.”

Kim tugged Trini’s shirt up a bit and looked at the bruises that looked worse as they changed. “My poor girl,” Kim sighed. She fixed Trini’s shirt. They laid there quietly for a while. “Are you in a lot of pain?” Kim finally asked. “I brought more Vicodin if you need it.”

“Maybe later,” Trini replied. “Don’t wanna blur this out.”

“One of those moments I wish could last forever,” Kim agreed.

“Be better if we could be makin’ out right now. Damn Tommy.”

Kim leaned down and pressed her lips to Trini’s forehead. “I promise we’ll make up for all the lost time.”

Trini hummed at the feel of Kim’s lips on her skin. “Now...was I dreamin’ yesterday or do you have, like, a really great singin’ voice?”

“I do okay.”

“Modesty don’t become you, Princess. Gimmie some ego.”

“I’m damn good, I know,” Kim chuckled. She shifted and took a lock of Trini’s hair between her fingertips and began to braid it. “Does that hurt still?”

“Nah, it’s fine. And you really are. Why aren’t you usin’ it more?”

“For what? It won’t be a career so what use is it?” Her response sounded almost automated.

“For fun. You could be in the choir or somethin’. Hell, I love singin’. If I were you I’d’ve bought a guitar as soon as I could hold one up.” She’d had one for a couple of years. It had been so old and beaten up, but she saved and bought it. Then she sold it two years later when her family needed the money. She missed it.

“Ahh, but we don’t do things for fun,” Kim explained. “The arts are not real careers, and if you’re not going to make a career of it and it isn’t sports related then what’s the point?”

“You tellin’ me no socs are singers or artists?”

“No soc who doesn’t already have a degree in something more acceptable to prove they could.”

“Sometimes your life sounds real borin’.” 

“Imagine how it feels,” Kim said, her voice sad and faraway.

“Good thing ya got me to keep things interestin’, huh?”

“You keep things incredibly interesting.” Kim continued moving through locks of Trini’s hair to braid. “Since I sang for you yesterday I think you should sing for me now.”

“I dunno, Princess. I barely remember you singin’. Was pretty outta it. You should remind me first.” Trini knew the smirk could be heard in her voice, and she heard Kim laugh at it.

“Is that so?”

“Don’t make me play the poor injured girl role.”

“Okay, okay. Let me think of something.”

“Sing what you sang yesterday,” Trini said. “I know that one.”

Kim was quiet for a moment, focused on putting more small braids in Trini’s hair, but then she started to sing the opening lines of _ Wouldn’t It Be Nice _ again. Trini listened, felt soothed by the sound, before moving the bag from her mouth and stretching it out the best she could. Then she began to sing along. She was only a line in when Kim stopped suddenly, and Trini’s voice faded off behind her, worried she sounded terrible.

“That...is the sexiest sound I’ve ever heard,” Kim finally said. “Aside from when you moan.”

Trini felt her face burn at the last comment. “Shush, no it wasn’t.”

“Your voice is beautiful,” Kim insisted. “Come on, keep singing.” And she launched back into the song. Trini waited a beat before joining her, and soon their voices blended in a perfect harmony.

_ “ _ _ You know it seems the more we talk about it, it only makes it worse to live without it. But let's talk about it. Oh, wouldn't it be nice?” _

Trini’s heart clenched through the song, but those words hurt the worst and she faded off and fell silent. Kim finished the song and let out a long sigh. “Talk to me,” Kim murmured.

“I need a smoke. Haven’t had one since before Tommy knocked me out.” Trini moved the frozen veggies from her face and slowly got up.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“I’ll be fine. C’mon.” She padded through the house to the back door in the kitchen and she led Kim out into the backyard. They didn’t have a deck, or much grass. The yard was weeds and unhealthy patches of grass and some trees that she and her brothers grew up climbing. She motioned to some plastic chairs that had seen better days and Kim sat in one without blinking. Trini sat beside her and lit a cigarette then put it in the good side of her mouth and took a long inhale. She blew it out over her shoulder so as to not blow it in Kim’s face.

“Talk to me now?”

“It’s just...a dumb song,” Trini said defensively.

“Why? I think it’s kind of fitting.”

“Because dreamin’ about shit that ain’t gonna happen, that you can’t have, is a waste of time and a waste of energy. My folks drilled that in my head a long time ago.”

“It isn’t saying that you believe things could be different. It’s saying it would be nice if things could be better. And I think it’s _ supposed _ to be a bittersweet song. It’s about...just admitting that the idea of having that with someone specific is something you like to dream about, even if you know it can never be.”

Trini listened to Kim’s words and considered them in the silence that followed. “And where does that get me? What’s the point?”

“To...commiserate? And know that you’re not alone in how you feel?”

She didn’t know what to say to that. Her instinct was to start a fight and make sure Kim knew she had no idea what Trini felt, but she didn’t have it in her. She got to her feet and walked over to where a tarp lay over something against the side of the house. She took the tarp down and revealed a deep yellow motorcycle with sparkling gold lightning bolts. Kim stood and walked over to look it over.

“Wow,” Kim said. “It...looks _ really _good. Did you paint it yourself?”

“Nah, we got a custom guy at the shop. I owe him free babysitting for life.”

Kim reached out and traced one of the bolts. “How long until it’s running?”

“Not sure. Haven’t been workin’ so haven’t had money to put into it. Hopin’ it’ll be ready in time to leave with the boys. If not...I’ll have Vic sell it as is and take the cash.”

“If you had the money how long would it take?”

Trini glanced sideways at Kim. “Well, I don’t so it don’t matter.” She knew what Kim was getting at, and she didn’t know how many other ways she could tell the soc that she didn’t want her money. That the offer was an insult.

“If you do finish it can I have one ride before you leave?”

“Yeah,” Trini said, a small smile on her lips. “You’ll be my first passenger.” She put out her cigarette and draped the tarp back over the bike.

“How will you fit Zack and Billy on the back of it?”

“They’re both savin’ up for bus tickets. I’ll follow the bus.”

“I think I know what I’m giving you for graduation,” Kim said.

“You don’t hafta give me anythin’.”

“But I want to. I’ll get you enough phone cards to last you your first few months, that way we can easily stay in touch even if you’re broke. Think of it as me buying something for myself in a completely selfish way.”

“I might accept it then.” Trini said before walking back inside. She held the door for Kim and then led her back to her bedroom. She shut the door and watched Kim move over and lay down on her bed. Trini stared at Kim for a moment then laid down beside her, the two on their backs side by side. “It is nice to dream about, Princess,” she said softly, returning to their earlier conversation. “But it also hurts in a way that I don’t wanna feel.”

“I know, baby,” Kim murmured. She took Trini’s hand. “The only thing I want to feel is this. How I feel when I’m with you, or when I talk to you.”

Trini hummed as she thought about those words, but she didn’t know what else to say to them so she said nothing. She squeezed Kim’s hand. “Wishin’ I had some weed ‘bout now,” she sighed, changing the subject.

“Out?”

“Yeah, and broke. Got a guy that knows I’m good for it and’ll bring some over, but I still owe him for last time.”

“Then let me buy some,” Kim said easily. “For myself. And I’ll share.”

“No offense, but no one’s ‘bouta sell to _ you _ out here.”

“That’s why I’ll give you my cash and you can buy for me.”

“Guess I could do that…” Trini mused. It wasn’t like Kim was spending her money on Trini exactly. “A’ight, lemme make a call. I got someone else I don’t owe.” She reached for her phone and pulled up the correct contact and spoke for him for a couple of minutes before hanging up and glancing over to Kim. “Hour. Just pretend you’re not here when he stops by.”

“Okay,” Kim nodded. “What will we do until then?”

“You could...kiss me?”

“Your lip is still pretty bad,” Kim said. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t,” Trini promised. They turned their heads to each other and stared into one another’s gaze. “I trust you.”

That made Kim smile softly. She leaned closer and kissed Trini’s lips softly and pulled back. “How was that?”

“Not enough.” Trini took hold of a handful of Kim’s shirt and pulled her back in to kiss her deeper. She still moved her lips slowly, but she took more of Kim’s lips than the peck had allowed. It stung and ached, but the good feeling of Kim’s mouth and tongue overpowered any pain in her lip. She kept Kim close and continued to kiss the soc even when her lungs screamed for air. She didn’t even taste the blood until Kim pulled away and wiped her own mouth. “Trini, your cut broke again.” When Kim drew her hand from her lips there was a streak of blood on her fingers.

“Shit.” Trini held a hand over her lip and ran off to the bathroom to clean it up. Kim followed her in and pushed her to sit on the closed toilet seat. “Kim, I can-”

“Ssh, I’m here to be your nurse, remember?” Kim balled up some toilet paper and pressed it to Trini’s lip and Trini held it there. “Where are your first aid supplies?”

“Under the sink.”

Kim gathered a couple of things up and returned with antibiotic cream and a small bandaid. “Here we go.”

“I’m not wearin’ a bandaid on top of my lip, I’ll look dumb.”

“Fine, but we’re putting cream on it.” Kim motioned for Trini to move the paper, and she squeezed some cream onto the tip of her pinky and gently spread it onto the cut. “No more kisses like that until this has scabbed over.”

“You’re no fun,” Trini said with a pout.

“I never said we couldn’t have fun.” Kim pulled Trini to her feet and back to her bedroom. She pushed Trini down on her back and crawled on top of her.

“We can’t have sex.”

“I know. This isn’t sex.” Kim kissed Trini’s good cheek and down along her jaw, and Trini sighed and tried to relax. Kim dropped kisses all up and down Trini’s neck and throat. She tugged the collar of Trini’s shirt down a bit and kissed her collarbone. Trini wrapped her arms around Kim and rubbed her back as she just let herself feel the warmth of Kim’s lips on her skin. Kim’s hand ghosted up Trini’s bare stomach and pushed her shirt up. She looked down at Trini’s bruises before lowering herself to kiss them, light as a feather. Trini felt a dull soreness from the contact, but how good it felt overpowered. It even made it feel better. Before Trini knew it Kim was tugging Trini’s shirt over her head, and Trini’s heart pounded faster.

“Thought you said no sex,” she said to Kim.

“This still isn’t sex.” Kim continued to kiss Trini’s stomach and her ribs. She kissed the rise of Trini’s breasts over her bra and back up her chest and throat. She leaned her head in her hand and stared down into Trini’s eyes. “If you _ wanted _ it to be sex...I’m happy to let you owe me.”

“You just wanna get me naked.”

“No, I want to make you feel better.”

Trini stroked Kim’s cheek. “Then hold me.”

Kim shifted off of Trini and pulled her into her arms. “How’s this?”

“Real good.” Trini settled in and closed her eyes. She was usually the one to hold over be held, but there was something so magical about the way Kim held her. It made her feel safe in a world that made her feel anything but. Trini must have drifted off in the comfort she felt, because the next thing she knew there was a knock on the front door. She sat up and grabbed her shirt then looked over her shoulder at Kim. Kim was asleep. Trini pulled her shirt on and leaned over to kiss Kim’s cheek. “Princess...need your cash.”

“It’s in my purse. Take what you need.”

Trini frowned. Kim was trusting her to go into her purse and take out money? Well, okay. She got up and went to Kim’s purse and took out her wallet. It was full of credit cards and a thick handful of cash. More than Trini had seen in a long time. She counted out the exact amount she needed and tucked Kim’s wallet away before going to the front door. She paid for the product and talked to her friend for a little bit before closing the door and returning to her room. Kim was sitting up in her bed waiting. Trini smiled at her and dropped the baggie on the bed before going for her rolling papers.

“I’ll give you some papers,” Trini said. She sat on the edge of the bed and started to roll a joint and gave Kim tips as she did it so that Kim could do it herself. She held up the finished product. “Here, you can have first.”

Kim took it and the lighter. “Why don’t you hold onto the weed until next time we’re together? In case you need some before then.”

“Not without payin’ my share,” Trini said, shaking her head.

“Let’s just say you owe me,” Kim said.

“No.” Trini knew her voice was sharp, but Kim was doing it again and it pissed her off.

Kim held the joint out to Trini. “How is it different than you owing your dealer?””

“Because it’s different.”

“Because I’m a soc?”

“Yeah,” Trini confirmed. “Because you’re a soc, because you’re you...I don’t even like owein’ Zack, but when I hafta I do, because he’s my boy.”

“And I’m your girl, aren’t I?”

“You offerin’ me money or to buy me things makes me feel...pitied, pathetic, and used. And I know that’s not your intention, but it’s how I feel. It’s one more reminder that you got everythin’ and I got nothin’. It makes me feel like I’ll be owein’ you in a way I can’t repay. Like...you’re into me ‘cuz you wanna fix me and my life, when you can’t.”

“But it’s not like that,” Kim argued. “I offer because I want to help, and because you deserve to have things you need. I don’t feel sorry for you and I’m not trying to fix anything, because, trust me, money doesn’t fix everything. The money I want to spend on you doesn’t mean anything to me. It’s what my parents give me instead of attention and love. What am I going to use it on? Things I don’t need? Or, I could use it to make a difference in the life of the girl I like. To make her smile. I’m not offering to shower you with expensive gifts, but to help you out from time to time. For things like this, which will help you feel better after getting beat up. Or buying you more time for us to text and call. Anything that makes your life less stressful or painful. That’s what I want to help you with.”

Trini thought about Kim’s words quietly for a bit. She kept her head down and her back to Kim. After a while, she spoke up. “Maybe that’s how it starts for you, but what if it turns into you resentin’ me for it? Or you start to think I can’t do anythin’ for myself?”

“I wouldn’t think those things. Not ever.”

“You might.”

“And you might begin to resent me over what I have that you don’t,” Kim pointed out. “Do you know how that makes _ me _ feel? Because I can’t help the fact that I can get whatever I need, but it’s not fair to you, and one day you might finally see that and resent me for it.”

“I used to,” Trini admitted. “But I don’t anymore. I couldn’t.”

“Then you have to trust that I won’t resent you,” Kim said. “And that I would never try to buy you or feel sorry for you.”

“I’m tryin’,” Trini said softly. She shifted on the bed to face Kim. “I am.”

Kim wrapped a hand around the back of Trini’s neck and tugged her in to kiss her softly. “I know you are.”

“I’ll hold onto it,” Trini nodded. “But I’m payin’ you back for whatever I use.”

“Okay,” Kim nodded. “Whatever you want to do.”

“I’m payin’ you back for the pills, too.”

“Okay.” Kim kissed her again. “Now...do you have any snacks?”

“Think we got some off-brand Lucky Charms.”

“Mmm, sounds amazing,” Kim chuckled.

* * *

The alarm on Kim’s phone went off and both girls looked from the screen of Kim’s laptop to each other with disappointment in their eyes. Kim leaned forward to turn the movie off.

“Guess...you gotta go,” Trini said sadly. As much as she wanted to keep Kim there, Trini knew her little brothers would be home in half an hour and Kim had to be long gone before then.

“Yeah, I do.” Kim closed her laptop with a frown. They both sat there quietly for a bit before Trini forced herself to her feet. At her move, Kim also got up and packed up her laptop. She came from her bag with a few small, white pills and placed them on Trini’s dresser. “You can owe me.”

Trini nodded. “Thanks for comin’ by today. Made the day a lot less boring.”

Kim stepped close and wrapped an arm around Trini’s waist to pull her close. “Do you think you’ll be in school tomorrow?”

“Probably,” Trini said with a nod.

“I’ll see you at lunch?”

“Definitely.”

Kim pecked Trini’s lips. “I’ll miss you, beautiful.”

“Yeah...me too,” Trini nodded. She walked Kim to the back door and kissed her again before letting her go and closing the door behind her. She sighed dejectedly and went to the stove to turn the kettle on for tea. Already she felt that piece of emptiness in her heart that always seemed to go with Kim.

She really was in trouble. How was she expected to say goodbye to Kim when school ended? To know she’d never see the soc again? It was a kind of pain that she didn’t want to think about yet. One she would normally protect herself from by not letting herself get attached, but she just couldn’t bring herself to cut Kim out before the expected pain that was to come. Not when her now with Kimberly felt so damn good.


	10. tell me someday we'll get there

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -cw: Mexican slurs  
-Chapter title from Stranger Things by Kygo ft. One Republic  
-shorter chapter than usual, sorry. I'll make it up to you soon.  
-thank you for all the comments, I read them and love them but I'm crap at remembering to reply to them.

Trini stepped outside her front door the next morning and paused to take out her first cigarette of the day. She saw Zack and Billy standing in her yard watching her. She smirked and walked over to them. “I get escorts to school today?”

“We haven’t all walked to school together in a long time,” Zack said. He peered at her face, taking in her wounds she was sure. The cut on her lip was still open and a little bruised, but the swelling was gone. Same with her eye. It had turned some ugly colors overnight, but it still looked better than it had. She lit her cigarette and blew the smoke away from Billy.

“Yeah, been a crazy few months,” she said, hoping that was enough.

“Are you feeling better?” Billy asked, with concern in his eyes.

“I am, B.” She nodded and they all began to walk. “Did I miss much at school?”

“Tommy is more obnoxious than ever since she kicked your ass,” Zack told her. “Jason and Ty stole all of Billy’s clothes after gym again yesterday, and all the socs are pushin' 'round the younger greasers a lot more. Some of our kids are gettin' more detentions and suspensions for fightin’.” He shook his head. “It’s gettin’ bad, Trini.”

“I can’t get any more detentions, I really can’t, but I ain’t gonna let them harass the kids in front of me,” she said.

“Just be prepared next time, okay? I know you’re fast with that knife, but you gotta be faster. And if Tommy comes for you again just strike,” Zack said.

“I don’t want Tommy to hurt Trini worse,” Billy replied.

“None of us do,” Zack argued. “But she needs to learn a lesson.”

“If this was six months ago I woulda straight up attacked her and stabbed her to teach her that lesson,” Trini said, grumpily. 

“What changed?” Billy asked.

Trini brought the cigarette to her lips and inhaled. That was easy; Kimberly had changed her. Not that she could say so. “I guess I got older,” she said instead. “Realized it’s more important we get out than get even.”

“Is it?” Zack asked her with a glance.

“Of course it is. If we get outta all this then...it don’t matter. She don’t matter, socs don’t matter...there’s a whole real world outside this town that...it’s got its problems, sure, but...everyone’s got a chance. All of us.”

“That sounds more important to me,” Billy said with a nod. Trini pointed at him with her cigarette and nodded.

“That’s why I hear you in my head whenever I’m about to fight,” Zack said. “Cuz you’re right.”

Trini grinned. “Feels good bein’ brilliant.”

When they got to school they crossed the parking lot towards the side doors. They were talking about lighter subjects and laughing, and Zack had just called out to Adam several hundred feet away from them. It wasn’t Adam they heard call back to them though.

“Oh my god, look! It’s the Mexican Pińata! Someone hurry up and beat her with a stick!”

The three friends looked behind their shoulders and saw Kimberly’s pink Jeep parked in the closest spot, and she and her friends were hanging out of it. Including Amanda, who had been the one to shout at them. Trini rolled her eyes and kept moving forward.

“Yeah, I hear all the nasty greaser girls hit it, too!” 

Trini recognized Ty’s voice and shuddered. He was so gross. She turned around to face the Jeep and held up two middle fingers. “Least I know how to make ‘em come!” She shouted back. She saw Kim in the front seat quickly turn her back to her friends and to Trini, and Trini hoped that meant she was amused by her. Zack threw an arm around her shoulders to keep her walking forward so she did. “Why can’t they just let us pass and ignore us?” She asked. Then something hit Trini in the back of the head, hard. She held the spot on her head and looked down to the full water bottle rolling at her feet. It pissed her off and made her want to charge over there, but no. She was better than that. She bent down and picked up the water and opened it to take a long sip, then held it out to her boys. “Anyone want?”

* * *

Everyone was transitioning between second and third period, and Trini was walking down the hall with her head down as usual. Just as she passed a janitor’s closet the door opened, an arm stuck out, and Trini was yanked inside. The door slammed shut and locked before Trini could fight the person off and she was certain Tommy was about to beat her down again. Trini pushed the person off of her and her eyes began to adjust to the darkness.

“It’s just me,” came Kim’s voice. She stepped close to Trini who was backed against the shelves.

“Jesus, Hart. Scared the shit outta me.” Trini’s hand comfortably found Kim’s arm and squeezed it. “Miss me or somethin’?”

“Yeah, I missed you,” Kimberly replied. “But also I wanted to see how you’re doing.” She reached above them for the chain to the light and tugged it on. She moved her hand to Trini’s cheek and looked her over closely. “Looking better,” she finally said. “Let’s see that lip.”

“Totally ready for kissin’ duty,” Trini insisted.

“I don’t know. It doesn’t look completely closed yet,” Kim said. “Gentle kisses only.” She demonstrated by leaning in and softly kissing Trini’s lips.

“Not enough,” Trini pouted. “I wanna hide in our spot and make out with you all day.”

“I would totally do that,” Kim said, her body pressing tight against Trini’s. “But you can’t skip anymore.”

“I can’t be late either,” she said regretfully.

“I guess I’ll let you go,” Kim sighed. “If you promise that one day you’ll show me those skills you were bragging to the whole parking lot about.”

Trini chuckled. “Oh, I promise, Princess,” she said.

Kim kissed her softly again. “I’ll hold you to that. I’m sorry they were assholes this morning.”

“I can take some lame insults,” Trini said. “Really hard to take anythin’ seriously when it’s comin’ from Barbie’s Dream Jeep.”

Kim gasped. “My Jeep is awesome.”

“It’s Barbie’s Dream Jeep.”

“No, it’s Kim’s dream Jeep, and it’s awesome. You know you want a ride in it,” Kim said.

“I couldn’t be seen as anythin’ but dead in that, even if I wanted to be seen in it,” Trini said with a laugh. Kim pouted and Trini leaned up to kiss her lips. “Don’t follow me too quickly,” she warned.

“I’ll wait until the bell rings. I can tell the teacher I was looking for a tampon.”

“That shit really works for you socs?”

“Well…” Kim lifted a shoulder. “It works for _this_ soc.”

“So used to everyone eatin’ outta the palm of your hand,” Trini said with a smile on her lips.

“That’s not the part of me I want you eating out of,” Kim replied.

Trini reached around to grab Kim by the ass and pull their hips together. “An’ what part would that be?”

“The part that wants me to tell you to skip your next class and stay in here with me.”

“Ugh, I really gotta go,” Trini groaned. She let go of Kim and Kim kissed her once again.

“I’ll see you at your lunch,” Kim said.

“One day you really gotta go to study hall,” Trini reprimanded. 

“I’ll go to study hall when I get to see you naked.”

“That so?” Trini asked. She thought about it and nodded. “Okay. It’s a deal. Kiss on it.”

Kim kissed her. “Go to class.”

“A’ight, I’ll go.” Trini pecked Kim’s lips and turned the light off. “See you soon.” And she slipped out the door and walked to class with her chin up.

* * *

Kim had Trini pressed back against a post beneath the bleachers and they were staring at one another. Trini watched Kim slowly lick her lips and she groaned at the sight. “I guess we should go sit down,” Kim said, her voice soft and low. “Don’t want to break your rule about kissing down here.” Her hand slid down Trini’s arm slowly.

“You tryina play with fire, Princess?” Trini asked, blinking her lashes slowly.

“I’m just following the rules,” Kim said innocently.

“What if I said the new rule is you hafta break the kissin' rule as many times as you can before the bell rings?” 

“Then I’d say I’m wearing you down,” Kim chuckled against Trini’s ear. She kissed the skin beneath it. “But are you sure? Like you say, anyone would walk up on us.”

“And them seein’ this would be innocent?” Trini asked. She ran her hands up Kim’s back, dragging her shirt with it and letting the tips of her fingers pull against Kim’s bare skin.

“Baby, you don’t have to talk me into kissing you any place or any time.” Kim brushed her lips across Trini’s jaw and hovered over her mouth. “And as soon as your lip heals I’ll show you how I think about kissing you every minute of the day.” She pressed her lips to Trini’s gently.

“Ain’t that romantic?” Trini murmured.

“Not romantic...needy,” Kim said with a smirk. She kissed Trini again. “Really needy for you.”

“I might be kinda needy for you, too, Princess,” Trini replied. She splayed her hands on Kim’s bare back as Kim’s shirt fell to cover them.

“Really? You should tell me more.”

“Hmm...well, I’d love to see if ya got anymore cute moles anywhere else on ya,” Trini said, one side of her mouth curving in a smirk.

“That sounds like something that would require very thorough inspection.”

“Good thing I’m dedicated and thorough,” Trini said. She scratched her nails down Kim’s back and Kim shivered.

“You should know I’ve been doing my homework for you.”

“Homework?”

“So that when it finally is the right time,” Kim said slowly. “I can do right by you.”

Trini’s cheeks warmed at the thought of it. “I don’t think a girl’s ever done homework for me before.”

“Well, I do have a lot of history to compete with.”

Trini pulled a hand from Kim’s back and took hold of her chin to look her in the eye. “Ya don’t gotta compete with anythin’ or anyone. It’s just gonna be about us.”

“Easy for you to say,” Kim replied. “You know what you’re doing.”

“I know what I’m doin’ with girls in general, yeah, but I don’t know what I’m doin’ with you or what you’ll like,” Trini argued softly. “And...I’ve never been with a girl that makes me feel like you make me feel,” she added shyly. “It’s gonna be new for both of us.”

“I like being great at everything I do, even if it’s the first time.”

“I think you gotta get over that way of thinkin’,” Trini said. “For us and for everythin’ else you do. You can’t always be perfect right away.”

“It’s what I’m used to,” Kim said, her voice confident but factual.

“Well, I’m gonna like you whether you’re perfect at everythin’ or not,” Trini told her.

Kim kissed her. “Thank you, Trin.”

“You’re welcome,” Trini replied. “Now...get more of those kisses in ‘fore I gotta go eat that lunch some pretty girl brought me.”

* * *

“So did you figure out what you’re going to do to get Tommy back?”

Trini looked down at Kim who laid with her head on Trini’s stomach on their rock while Trini stroked her fingers through her hair. “Yeah…” she said thoughtfully. “I’m not for now.”

“What?” Kim lifted her head to look at Trini.

“I wanna...believe me I wanna...but every damn thing I think about doin’...I hear you in my head tellin’ me it’ll get me into trouble. And that reminds me how I can’t get into trouble anymore. Not if I wanna graduate. So I think...for now I’mma let her go. Can’t say somethin’ won’t come over me if she comes at me at the wrong moment.”

Kim smiled as she laid back down with her face towards Trini. “I’m in your head?”

“Yeah, ya are.”

“Well, I do think that you shouldn’t get into trouble before graduation. I also think Tommy deserves to be knocked down a peg or two. I wish I could do it for you.”

“I’d pay to see that,” Trini laughed. “But nah. She ain’t even worth it. Spendin’ time with you, gettin’ my diploma...that’s what’s worth it.”

“Speaking of spending time with me, are you working tomorrow?”

Trini turned back to look up at the stars above them. “Yeah. I’m really fucked right now. If I don’t start workin’ every weekend again I’m never gonna save up anythin’ to get outta here. My Tío is gonna let me start workin’ Sundays, too. Long as I keep my grades up.”

“I guess I can live without you on the weekends in the interest of your future,” Kim sighed.

“Y’don’t gotta give me up completely on weekends,” Trini promised. “We can still meet here at night.”

“You have to study.”

“And you can help me. Right here.”

“I think I can do that,” Kim said. “I promise I can manage to keep my hands off of you.”

“Can you?”

“In theory,” Kim said, looking at where she held Trini’s free hand. “Kinda want to make out with you some more now that your lip is better.”

“I wouldn’t be against that,” Trini said, smiling. She watched Kim sit up then sat up beside her, their legs out on opposite sides. 

Kim cupped Trini’s cheek and brushed her thumb to her cheekbone. “Damn, you’re a beautiful girl,” she murmured. “ _ My _ beautiful girl.”

“You like callin’ me that, huh?” Trini asked, her nose brushing Kim’s. “Yours.”

“Yes, I do,” Kim said. She kissed Trini softly. “Because you are.”

“Yeah,” Trini admitted. “I am.” She didn’t particularly like the idea of belonging to someone usually, but she really did like hearing Kim say Trini was hers.

Kim closed her lips over Trini’s again and kissed her deeply. Trini returned the kiss and ran her fingers through Kim’s hair. They kissed for a long time, pausing now and then to smile at each other and brush their noses together. 

“How long can you stay?” Kim whispered between kisses.

“A little longer,” Trini murmured. “The guys are asleep at the campfire, but no tellin’ if they’ll wake up.”

“So we shouldn’t get the blankets out?”

“No, then I won’t ever leave.”

“Okay,” Kim whispered. “But I need you closer.” She shifted and tugged Trini onto her lap facing her.

Trini settled in and wrapped her arms around Kim’s neck. “How’s this?”

“Very good.” Kim buried her face in Trini’s neck and hair and kissed her skin.

Trini sighed and leaned her head back. “Feels good, Princess.”

“You feel good,” Kim replied huskily.

“Yeah?” Trini rolled her body against Kim’s teasingly. 

Kim groaned. “So good.”

“I’m really gonna miss you over break,” Trini said.

“I’ll miss you, too.” Kim pulled back to look at Trini. “You know what would be a great send off?”

“Somethin’ that involves me bein’ naked?”

“Bingo,” Kim laughed.

Trini whined. “You have no idea how much I wanna,” she said. “But I really do gotta go back to the campfire soon.”

“We have a week until I leave,” Kim said. “We can find time.”

“I don’t wanna plan it. It’ll make me too nervous,” Trini admitted.

“You don’t have to be nervous with me.”

“I know, but I will be no matter what,” Trini said. “Now kiss me some more before I gotta go.”

“Don’t mind if I do.”

* * *

Trini, Zack, Billy, and Z were at Trini’s locker at the end of the school day. They were talking and laughing and didn’t notice Tommy and Jason start to walk by. Apparently being ignored wasn’t Tommy’s mood, because she stopped behind the group.

“Isn’t this quaint? A dirty bunch of greasers,” she said.

Trini resisted looking Tommy’s way with a glare and kept her eyes on Zack. “You hear somethin’?” She asked him.

“Nah,” Zack said. “You, B?”

Billy frowned. “I heard Tommy.” Tommy and Jason laughed at him and Trini squared her shoulders and stepped up to them.

“I think you should be walkin’,” she said.

“Should we?” Tommy asked. “And why should we?”

“‘Cuz I’d hate t’dish you what ya deserve for what ya did to me.”

“You mean for kicking your ass?” Tommy asked, stepping closer.

Trini smirked darkly. “Ambush more like. But, hey, when you know you can’t win I guess you gotta resort to playin’ dirty.”

“Oh, I could win, you nasty beaner whore,” Tommy hissed.

Trini felt the others step to her sides at the slur, but she held her hand up to them and glared at Tommy. “Know what I been sayin’, Oliver? That ya ain’t worth it. And ya ain’t. So I’mma let you go ‘fore we gotta see if you really do bleed toxic fumes.”

“Threaten me all you want, little girl,” Tommy spat, standing toe-to-toe with Trini and glaring down her nose at her. “But we both know I could kill you even with that pathetic knife you carry around like some kind of armor.”

“You can kill me?” Trini asked, raising a brow. “Then do it. Right here. I won’t even pull my knife.” Tommy stared at Trini a moment longer before stepping back into line with Jason. “That’s what I thought,” Trini said. She crossed her arms and leaned back against the lockers. “Go on, now.”

“You better watch your back,” Tommy said, before walking away with Jason at her side.

“Nice balls, Trini, can I borrow them sometime?” Zack asked with a laugh, holding his hand out. Trini slapped and shook it.

“Yeah, I know you got none’a your own to speak for,” she teased.

“She’s gonna get ya for that,” Z said, shaking her head. “I”m glad ya feel so big and bad about it.”

“Chill, Z,” Trini said. “I’m not goin’ after her, but she’s gotta know I ain’t afraid to.”

“Trini, please don’t get beat up again,” Billy said.

“Don’t plan to, B,” Trini assured. “But I ain’t rollin’ over.”

“And she shouldn’t,” Zack said, backing her up. He threw his arm around Trini and led her down the hall, and Billy and Z fell into step with them. “My girl ain’t no dog...except with girls...no offense, Z.”

Z snorted. “None taken.”

* * *

Several nights later,  Trini stepped into the clearing and stopped at the sight of Kim standing on the rock, water sparkling under the stars behind her. The moonlight lit up her profile in a pure and beautiful way. Her head was bent, a hand on her hip, and her free hand held a bottle of booze. Trini stepped closer and came to a stop where the dirt ended and rock began.

“Hey, pretty girl,” she said softly. Kim turned and looked at her, and it was then that Trini saw the tears on her cheeks. “What’s wrong?”

“Parents,” Kim laughed. She wiped her eyes and took a swig from the bottle of clear liquid. Trini stepped up to her and caught it to pull it away. “But it’s mine,” Kim frowned, making grabby hands for it.

“Yeah yeah, talk to me then we can drink. Someone’s ass I gotta kick?”

That made Kim smile slightly and she shook her head. “No, it’s...it’s my parents.” Kim wiped a hand down her face. “Really it’s stupid. Don’t worry about it.”

“It’s not stupid,” Trini insisted. “You can tell me.”

Kim waved a hand at her dismissively. “You have real crap to worry about.”

Trini let out a huff. She set the liquor bottle down and went to recover their blankets and pillow and she laid them out. Then she sat and took off her boots and crawled between the blankets. She held the top one up. “Get in. Now.” Kim stared at her for a moment before shaking her head and walking over. She sat down and took off her shoes and snuggled in beside Trini. “A’ight, now…” Trini pulled Kim onto her side to face her and sidled up close until the tips of their noses brushed. “Tell me what’s makin’ my Princess sad.”

Kim’s gaze fell and her cheeks reddened. “You know how my parents were taking me to India for spring break?”

“Yeah,” Trini said, brushing Kim’s hair back from her face.

“They’re...they’re going without me,” Kim said, her voice cracking.

“What? Why?”

“Because that’s what they do,” Kim said bitterly. “God, I was so  _ stupid _ to think they’d actually go through with it. We haven’t been on a family vacation since I was twelve. Most kids our age...the last thing they would want to do is take a vacation with their parents, but...at least it would feel like they wanted to be around me for once, you know?”

Trini kissed Kim softly. “I know I’d kill to go away with you for a week.” Kim smiled at that, but then her chin tucked in and she started to cry again. “Hey, hey…” Trini cupped her cheek and brought her head back up. “They’re idiots. Big, dumb idiots.” She kissed her again.

“I just...I thought they wanted to spend time with me,” Kim sniffled through her tears.

“Did they tell you why? They got business they gotta do?”

“They need time together as a couple. Without me.”

Trini began to litter kisses against Kim’s tear stained cheeks. “Know what this means? Hm?” She felt more than saw Kim shake her head. “Means we got a week of your empty house just for us.” She kissed Kim’s lips and felt her smile into it as she tried to return it. 

“Thought you were going to try to work all through break?” Kim asked.

“Mm, I am,” Trini murmured. “But that doesn’t mean I won’t have time for you and a house with no parents.”

“What  _ will _ we do?” Kim chuckled.

The sound made Trini happy, and she pulled back to look Kim in the eye. “Whatever you want.”

“Really?” Kim tangled her leg with Trini’s.

“Really,” Trini insisted. She kissed her again. “Anything.”

“I’d rather do anything right now.” Kim leaned in and trailed kisses against Trini’s neck, and Trini tilted her head to give her more room.

“Here?” Heat bloomed through Trini and she knew she could, but she wanted their first time to be a little more special. “You can wait.”

“Waiting has been hell.” Kim sucked Trini’s skin between her lips and Trini bit back a moan.

“I know,” Trini said, her lashes fluttering and her resolve weakening quickly. “Gotta...be special.”

Kim pushed Trini onto her back and leaned over her. “You think anytime we do it won’t be special?”

Trini gazed up at Kim, entranced by the shadows and the moonlight over her, and she swallowed. “‘Course it will be.” Kim’s hand trailed up from Trini’s waist to her stomach and ribs before settling over her breast, and Trini’s breath caught hard in her throat. “Jesus, Kim.” With a smirk, Kim dropped down to kiss Trini again, giving her breast a light squeeze. They kissed deeply for several moments, and Trini’s hands slid around Kim and settled on her ass to draw their hips together. Kim let out a breathy moan into Trini’s mouth, and Trini sighed. “...ain’t...doin’ it...here,” she whispered into their kiss.

“Okay,” Kim said lightly. Her thumb circled over Trini’s hardened nipple, and Trini laid her head back to take a deep breath. “Are you okay?” There was a smirk in Kim’s voice that both irritated and delighted Trini. She dug her fingers into Kim’s ass. “I’d say you are,” Kim said, kissing Trini’s cheek.

“What day do they leave?” Trini murmured.

“Saturday.”

“I’ll be workin’ that day. What if I come over after?”

Kim hummed in thought. “I could order anything you want for dinner,” she said thoughtfully. “And we can dress up nicely and eat at the table...it would be like our first real date.”

“I think that’d be cool,” Trini said. “It’d be cool...not hidin’.”

“I’m going to romance the crap out of you,” Kim said with a grin.

Trini was happy to see that grin and she leaned in to kiss it. “I can’t wait.”


	11. please don't break my heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- if you haven't seen it already, check out the amazing edit bluearrow126 on tumblr made for this piece! https://5ivebyfive.tumblr.com/post/623024059116142593/bluearrow126-in-a-hopeless-place-by  
\- Short-ish chapter.  
-Chapter song is It's You by Ali Gatie

_ "it's you, it's always you  
if I'm ever gonna fall in love I know it's gon' be you  
it's you, it's always you  
met a lot of people, but nobody feels like you" _

* * *

It was Saturday and Trini was at work checking her watch every five minutes. Her heart had been pounding a beat faster than normal all day, and her palms were gross and sweaty. She and Kimberly hadn’t explicitly said that it was The Night, but...she knew it was The Night. If she survived the wait. It didn’t help her nervous state that she’d had one too many cups of coffee, either. She tapped her fingers on the desk in the lobby of the auto shop and stared down at her textbook. If she had her homework done at work then she had a better excuse to just have fun that night. But she couldn’t focus. She had received a typical good morning text from Kim and had replied to it, but then that had been it for her current round of minutes available. She had told Kim she couldn’t wait for their date, so Kim knew she was still coming over, but it would have been nice to be able to chat with Kim while she worked. Chatting with Kim was exactly how she had burned through so many minutes already. 

Trini paused to check a new customer in then Vic leaned his head through the door. “Come back here, _ Chapparita, _” he called before disappearing again. She got up and walked back to find her uncle in the bay he was working in with a blue Toyota van. It was lifted up and he was under it. She joined him. “Help me with this oil change,” he said. “Feels like we haven’t talked in ages.”

“Okay, what’s up?” She asked, beginning to help him out. An oil change wasn’t a two person job, but she didn’t mind.

“What’s with all that detention you’ve had keepin’ you from workin’ on Saturdays?”

“Some fights,” she admitted. “Skippin’.”

“Your mamí says you got in one fight so bad you were outta school.”

“That wasn’t a fight,” she told him. “That was me gettin’ my ass handed to me when I couldn’t fight back.”

Vic shook his head. “How much money you got left?”

“Nothin’,” Trini said softly. “Y’know how it goes.”

“I know,” he nodded. “I also know how deadset you are about leavin’. So why you keep spendin’ it?”

“Because my parents need it. Or because I need to buy things. I’m not spendin’ my days at the mall, Tío. Anytime I got money I turn around and it’s gone.”

“Welcome to being an adult,” he laughed.

“It ain’t funny,” she argued. “It’s stressin’ me the hell out. I know we can live here another year and then move or whatever, but...I really wanna go soon as we graduate. I even been thinkin’ ‘bout sayin’ screw high school and just savin’ up to leave, and wherever we go I’ll get my GED.”

“Nah,” Vic said, shaking his head. “You’re almost done. You need a high school diploma to get a job wherever you end up, and you’ll need one as soon as you get there. Stay in school.”

“Feels like school’s just a distraction holdin’ me back in this place,” she grumbled. “Gotta deal with socs every day, unfair treatment...it’s hard knowin’ I can’t get into trouble ‘cuz I gotta work, but still keepin’ my dignity ‘round these damn kids.”

“It ain’t a unique story,” Vic said. “We all been through it. But you, you’re gonna make it. I know you will.”

Trini nodded. “I hope so.” How though? How did she work as hard as she needed to work to get out when all of her wanted to drown in the distraction that was Kimberly Hart?

“I know so,” he said. “So you know what you wanna do out there?”

“Whatever work I can get with a high school diploma,” Trini said. “Maybe find a shop out there to work in.”

“You give ‘em my number.”

“I will. I should get back to the desk,” she said, nodding her head in that direction.

“Yeah, go,” he nodded. “I got this from here.”

“Hope so,” she joked, before leaving.

* * *

Later that afternoon, the door opened with a jangle and Trini looked up to greet whoever it was, but saw that it was Rocky. He strolled in wearing long jean shorts, a dirty, white tank top showing off his muscles, and a freshly buzzed head of hair. Trini’s lips twisted in a smirk and she shook her head.

“Lookit you strollin’ in here like you somebody,” she said.

Rocky leaned his arms to the desk and grinned at her. “I am somebody,” he said.

“Yeah, a pain in my ass,” she replied smartly. “What ya want?”

“I came here for your benefit and you’re disrespectin’ me.”

“How’s it my benefit?”

Rocky took a wad of cash from his pocket, all bunched up, and laid it on the counter. “For you.”

“For me? Why?” Trini asked, surprised.

“You loaned me two hundred like six months ago. This is me payin’ it back. Better take it ‘fore I change my mind.”

Trini reached out and slapped a hand on top of the money and pulled it to herself. “You sure you’re good to pay it back?”

“Yeah, been doin’ some extra work lately. Wanted to wait til I had it all to give back.”

“Appreciate it,” she nodded. She took the money and started arranging it all together. She didn’t need to count it, she trusted him.

“So my cuz is throwin’ a wild party tonight. You in?”

“Which cousin?” Trini popped an eyebrow up.

“Anthony.”

“A’ight, Anthony is cool. Um,” she stalled. “I can try, man. My folks have been real strict about me goin’ out at night lately,” she lied.

“Well, if you can make it, it’s gonna be a good time,” he said.

“Ain’t it always?” She asked.

He held out a hand. “Ten o’clock til whenever.”

Trini leaned forward over the desk to slap his hand. “Cool, I’ll see. And thanks for this, man. I needed it.” She shoved the money in her pocket.

“Nah, thank _ you _, T,” he said, before walking out the door. He shot up a wave on his way out and Trini shook her head with a smile. Rocky really was one of the good guys, as silly and reckless as he was.

* * *

As soon as the clock hit five PM, Trini jumped from her chair and picked up her backpack and slung it over her shoulder. She leaned through the door to the back and called out over the loud sounds of auto work, “I’m out, Tío!” He lifted his head from under the hood of an old, brown Ford and lifted his hand, and Trini turned and headed out the front door. She was so excited to get to Kim’s house that it felt like she was hopping foot to foot. Walking across the small parking lot she immediately saw Zack sitting on a concrete parking barrier smoking a cigarette. He grinned when he saw her and got up to meet her halfway.

“There’s our working girl,” he said in greeting.

Trini came to a stop and glanced around a little impatiently. “Sup?”

“You comin’ to the party tonight?”

“Uhh…”

“You missed the last couple. We all wanna see you,” he said, good-naturedly. Trini knew she had. She had been with Kim. How many could she really miss when before Kim came along she never missed one? “Even Billy’s gonna go,” Zack went on. “For a little while at least. We figured we’d go when it starts so it’s a little quieter. Then I’ll probably take him home and go back for more.”

Trini thought about it. Her plan had been to stay with Kim all night. It was a special night. But guilt ate at her. Especially when Billy was mentioned. He liked having both Zack and Trini at parties with him. Maybe Kim wouldn’t mind if she left for a bit and came back. If she explained that it was important to her to appear like she wanted to be there. She rubbed her nose and thought a moment longer before nodding. “Yeah, I’ll go.”

Zack grinned. “Sweet! It’s been too long since The Three Muskateers went out.” He dropped his cigarette and stomped it out. “So we’re meetin’ in the park at quarter to ten. Gonna walk with us?”

“Yeah, I’ll be there,” Trini nodded.

“Wanna go chill before that?”

“Uhh, nah. I got somewhere I gotta go, then my folks want me home for dinner. Mamí’s on this family dinner every night kick. Easier to do it than fight with her.” It amazed her how much easier the lies got over time. But at least it was an easily believable one, and Zack knew it was easier to do what June wanted than to fight it.

“A’ight, so meet us at the park and we’ll go have some fun,” he nodded. He held out his hand, and Trini slapped it and shook it.

“I’ll be there,” she promised.

“Cool, cool,” he nodded. He started to head for the sidewalk. “Get you some new minutes,” he said. “I couldn’t get through when I called.”

Trini chuckled. “I know, I need to.” She watched him start down the sidewalk then walked in the opposite direction. Kim would be disappointed that Trini was going to leave for a couple hours, but overall she would understand. One of the many things Trini liked about Kimberly Hart.

* * *

Trini snuck into Kim’s backyard and onto the porch and she knocked on the back door, looking over her shoulder anxiously as she waited for Kim to open it. The second she did, Trini pushed past her and went inside to safety. Kim closed the door and turned back to Trini with a smile, and Trini returned it happily.

“I didn’t get to talk to you alllll day,” Kim whined, opening her arms. Trini stepped into them and wrapped her arms around Kim’s middle tightly.

“I’m sorry, Princess. I’ll get my phone goin’ soon. But I’m here now.” She pulled back and looked at Kim. Kim was wearing a white dress with pink and yellow flowers that fell above her knees. Trini had never seen it before and she assumed it was new. It looked great on her. She told Kim as much, and Kim looked Trini over pointedly. Trini lifted her bag on her shoulder. “I just need to change. I couldn’t change at work or everyone would wonder what the hell I’m up to.”

“You can use my bathroom.” Kim took Trini’s hand and led her upstairs and into her room. “When you’re ready we can order dinner.”

“Okay, won’t take a minute,” Trini said, moving towards the bathroom. But Kim caught Trini’s hand and pulled her back to herself to kiss her. Trini smiled into the kiss and let herself enjoy the slow, sweet kiss they shared. Kim’s hands slid into Trini’s back pockets and pulled her closer and Trini chuckled. “You gotta let me change, Princess.”

“Nothing about you needs to be changed,” Kim answered smoothly.

“But you look beautiful and I wanna look less...like this,” she said, indicating her ratty clothes. “I’ll be fast, I promise.” She pulled away and Kim reluctantly let her go. 

Trini shut herself in the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror for a moment. Then she opened her backpack and pulled out her dress and shook it out. She really hated dresses so much, but her Mamí wouldn’t let her get away with slacks to church. Trini owned two dresses. One was covered in lace and was for Easter and Christmas, not something she picked out for sure, and the other she brought. She stripped and looked at herself. She was wearing the nicest bra she owned that she only wore when she dressed up. It was black with some lace around the top of the cups and she wore matching simple black silky panties. Both of which she stole and no one knew about. She pulled her dress over her head and straightened it out. It actually wasn’t a terrible dress, despite being a dress. It was a golden yellow, a color June insisted was her color, covered in white daisies. The sleeves were short and conservative, the neckline curved but well above her chest. It fell below her knees. A length her mother considered respectful. If she had to wear a dress, it wasn’t the worst. She still didn’t think it was her. She wanted something sleek and black, but June said not while Trini lived under her roof would she wear a black dress to church, and what other reason did Trini have to wear a dress? Trini bent down and pulled out a pair of simple black flat heeled shoes. Her Mamí had bought her a pair of cheap heels only a couple of years before and forced her to wear them, but even June had to relent that Trini just couldn’t walk in them and it was safer for her to wear flats. Trini may have overdone the appearance that she couldn’t wear them so that she wouldn’t have to wear them. She just didn’t think she was feminine enough for them, and she was more comfortable in the flats. If she could wear her combat boots with her dress, she would. 

Reaching back into her backpack, Trini pulled out the lipstick she had swiped from her Mamí. It was a deep red color and once applied she thought it looked nice. It was also the extent of the makeup she would wear. She put the lipstick away so she could sneak it back into her parents’ bathroom then pulled out a small bottle of body spray that she had stolen from the store in the mall just for that night. It was woodsy and sweet, and she liked it. She sprayed her wrists and rubbed them behind her ears then stashed it away. She took a moment to look herself over. She didn’t think she looked like _ her _, but she knew she looked okay. She took out her brush and ran it through her hair until it was laying against her shoulders in thick waves. She knew Kim liked her with her hair down, so she left it. She packed everything into her backpack and stowed it in a corner of the bathroom, then she stepped out of the bathroom. Kim was sitting on her bed scrolling on her phone and she looked up and her eyes went wide. Trini felt herself blush at the silent staring. Maybe she looked too different. 

“If...if I look dumb I can just-”

Kim was up and off her bed and in front of Trini in seconds. She grabbed Trini’s hands and pulled her in to place them on her shoulders. “You look beautiful,” Kim murmured.

Trini smiled shyly. “My mom picked out the dress,” she said. “It’s not my thing, but-”

“It’s stunning on you. That color is amazing.” Kim beamed and kissed Trini’s cheek. “And you smell so good.”

Trini was still blushing and looking sheepish. “Let’s just order food.”

“Any idea what you want?” Kim asked, not pulling away yet.

“I dunno. What do you usually get?”

“I used the FoodNow app and order whatever I’m in the mood for. They have a lot of different restaurants. We could do Italian or steak or sushi.”

Trini’s nose wrinkled. “Isn’t that raw fish?”

“Sometimes. Sometimes it’s cooked. Have you never had it?”

“Nope, and I don’t think I wanna start now. Let’s have Italian,” Trini said. “If it’s not too expensive.”

“Nothing is too expensive for you,” Kim insisted simply. She returned to her bed and picked up her phone, and Trini sat next to her. They both bent over Kim’s phone and picked out what they wanted. An appetizer of bruschetta, which Kim promised Trini she would like, Chicken Marsala for Kim and after a long decision, a simple lasagna for Trini. Then Kim ordered two orders of tiramisu for dessert. They put the order in and Kim tugged Trini downstairs to the kitchen where she picked out a bottle of wine that they hoped would compliment their food and she popped it open and went ahead and poured two glasses. They sat close together on the formal living room couch with Kim’s hand on Trini’s knee, and they caught each other up on their weeks. Trini still felt a little uncomfortable, but she took comfort in pressing her shoulder to Kim’s and listening to her talk. 

When the doorbell rang some forty minutes later, Kim got up to get the food and returned with a big bag. She went into the kitchen and Trini followed, and together they quietly put all the food on plates and carried them into the fancy dining room. They sat together, side by side, and were quiet as they began to eat. Trini ate with one hand, because Kim insisted on holding her other one. Trini didn’t really mind that. As they got into their main course they relaxed more and started to talk and laugh together. Trini felt more at ease as the meal went, and it helped that every so often Kim squeezed her hand like she was reassuring her. The food was amazing, and from what Trini saw of the prices, it had to be. The wine helped in relaxing her, and she was warm and buzzed. After they finished their food they cleaned up and put the dessert in the fridge to be enjoyed when their food settled a little more. Kim refilled their wine glasses and asked Trini if she wanted to go upstairs, and a bit of dread rose in Trini. She knew what that meant, and her nerves had the best of her. She went with Kim though, and they sat up on Kim’s bed with their legs stretched out across it and their backs to the headboard. 

“God, it’s so nice to feel like we’re on a real date,” Kim said. “Like I don’t have to hide you.”

“Feels nice not to be hidden,” Trini admitted. “Kinda like I’m worth bein’ out for show.”

Kim moved her wine glass into her other hand and wrapped her arm around Trini. “Baby, you know it’s not like that. You’re so worth being shown off. I _ wish _ I could show you off.”

“Yeah,” Trini said, uncertainly. Kim kissed the side of her head. “I mean, it is what it is.”

“You really look so beautiful tonight,” Kim said, somewhat changing the subject. “And I know you’re not comfortable so it means the world to me that you dressed up for me.”

“I wanted to,” Trini said. “If I didn’t, I woulda just told you you get what you get.” She smirked.

Kim reached out to put her wine glass down then moved her free arm around Trini’s waist. “You look so nice I just want to kiss you all night.”

Trini put her wine down, too and leaned into Kim. “Just kiss?” She teased.

“No, not just kiss,” Kim admitted thickly. She brushed Trini’s hair aside and kissed along her neck. “I really want to make you feel good.”

Trini closed her eyes and sighed at the feel of Kim’s lips. “You already do, Princess.” Kim’s lips closed over the pulse point of Trini’s neck and Trini let out a soft moan.

“You know what I mean,” Kim said. She sucked the spot again and her free hand moved along the collar of Trini’s dress, slowly dragging her fingers along the skin there. Trini felt goosebumps pop up all over her skin. Kim’s lips moved up to Trini’s ear and tugged the lobe with her teeth. “I want to see how beautiful you are out of this dress,” she whispered in her ear.

Tipping her head, Trini caught Kim’s lips and they kissed deeply. Trini’s hand held the side of Kim’s head and threaded through her hair. It didn’t take long before they were laying on the bed with Kim half leaned over Trini and Trini on her back. She put all of her concentration into kissing Kim, something that was always so easy to do. Easy to get lost in. A single finger on Kim’s hand dipped below the top of Trini’s chest, but not low enough to reach her breasts, and frustration grew inside Trini. She wanted more already. She always wanted more with Kim. But finally, she felt like it was time. She pulled Kim on top of her more fully and relaxed at the full weight of her girlfriend on her. Her very own weighted blanket. Kim’s hair tickled Trini’s face. One of Kim’s hands fell to Trini’s waist and squeezed it. Trini kept one hand in Kim’s hair and the other trailed down her back. She brushed up and down it slowly, the hardness of the zipper beneath her fingers. They kissed more, switching between fast and hard and slow and tender. After a while, Trini ever so slowly started to unzip Kim’s dress. She wasn’t in a rush. It unzipped all the way down to the small of her back, and Trini reached in and rubbed Kim’s warm, soft skin. She heard Kim whine a bit impatiently, but she didn’t speed up her motions.

Trini felt Kim’s hips start to softly rock into her own, and she held in a moan from how good it felt. Fresh heat cropped up all over. Their hips aligned perfectly, and she felt it in all the right places. Kim’s hand fell down to Trini’s leg and pushed her dress up her thighs, running her touch against Trini’s skin. Trini shuddered. Kim pulled her lips from Trini’s and began kissing the side of her face and her thumb ran circles into Trini’s thigh. Trini leaned her head back and tried to swallow the sudden need to make it all go faster. Kim took the opportunity to kiss down Trini’s throat and against her chest.

“Wanna take this off,” Kim murmured, tugging at Trini’s dress.

“Okay,” Trini agreed. Kim sat up and helped Trini sit up with her. She carefully pulled the dress up Trini’s body and over her head and tossed it aside. Kim gulped when she saw Trini in her black bra and panties, and she stared for a long time without speaking. “Yours, too,” Trini said, reaching for Kim’s dress. Kim pulled it off herself quickly then lay back down on top of Trini, everything suddenly feeling hotter and softer. Kim wasted no time in dropping her lips to the swell of Trini’s breasts and kissing them and palming them. Trini’s eyes closed and she moaned again. Kim seemed to be in heaven with her face in Trini’s breasts. Trini smirked slightly and ran her nails up and down Kim’s back. Before Trini even knew it, her bra was gone and on the floor, and Kim was exploring her breasts more. “Someone’s a boob girl,” Trini murmured, amused. Kim didn’t respond. 

After a while, Trini was able to pull Kim’s mouth from her chest and kiss her again. She easily turned them so that she was on top. It seemed unspoken that she was the one who knew what she was doing and should lead the way. She kept kissing Kim until they were both relaxed and rocking together again. She got rid of Kim’s bra and took her slow, sweet time in kissing and sucking at Kim’s skin. She worked her way down Kim’s body carefully and tried to kiss every inch of it. Despite Kim’s desperate pleas for more, faster. Trini wanted to savour it, and wanted Kim to feel everything.

Trini made her way back up Kim’s now relaxed body. She paused to kiss her here and there, but was focused on getting up to Kim’s face. She had noticed the tears in the middle of it, the ones that still streaked Kim’s face, but Kim had told her not to stop. Now that she was done, she was worried. She settled on top of Kim and looked down into her eyes. “You okay?” She whispered.

Kim nodded. “Fine, I’m fine,” her voice cracked.

“No, you’re not. Was it bad?” Trini looked at her in concern.

“No!” Kim said sharply. She held Trini’s face. “No, baby, it was so, _ so _ good.” She shook her head. “I just...it’s…” She wiped her face. “It’s so dumb.”

“I’m sure it’s not,” Trini said.

Kim was quiet a moment, staring into Trini’s eyes. Then she shrugged. “With him I never...he never made me....he didn’t care how it was for me. He never took time like you did. You...overwhelmed me with feeling good,” Kim admitted. “In a good way. And it was just...a lot. You.” Kim held Trini’s face and brought her down for a single soft kiss. “Thank you.”

Trini frowned. “I couldn’t do it any other way,” she said truthfully. “I only gave you what you deserve.”

“That’s why I-” Kim’s voice died and her eyes searched Trini’s for something. “Care about you,” she finally finished.

“Do you wanna take a lil break?” Trini asked in concern. “We can just lay here for awhile.”

“No,” Kim said, shaking her head. “I want to give you what you gave me. Or...try to. It might take me a minute to figure out.”

Trini smiled. “Lucky for you, I’m very patient when it comes to you.”

“Funny, I’m exactly the opposite,” Kim laughed. She wrapped her arms around Trini and flipped them so Trini was beneath her once more. “Just...don’t be afraid to tell me if I’m doing something wrong or not enough.”

“Don’t overthink it,” Trini said softly. “Just do what you think would feel good on you.”

When they later stilled again, and Kim was kissing Trini’s cheek, Trini tried to swim back to feeling normal. She was filled with so many feelings at once, so many thoughts, but at the same time she felt peacefully blank. Kim had been a fast learner and made Trini feel great, but she also made Trini feel other things. Big things. Emotional things. Realizations that she couldn’t voice, wasn’t ready to voice. And stuck there in the afterglow, with Kim’s bare body pressed to her own, Trini didn’t want to try. Kim nuzzled her face into Trini’s neck, and Trini rubbed her back.

They climbed under the covers to cuddle, and decided they would have dessert after a little nap. Trini had never felt so at peace in her life. They kissed slowly and sighed together, and eventually fell asleep. When they woke again they were kissing right away, and it led to another round. By the time Trini thought to look at the time she saw that it was almost eleven PM. Her heart sunk. She had missed meeting the boys. But...she kind of didn’t care. Nothing would make her leave Kim’s arms at that point. She would just ask for forgiveness tomorrow. Promise them the rest of the weekend. 

Kim got up to get their dessert and brought it to Trini in bed. They sat up and talked and laughed while they ate. Trini felt even closer to Kim. Like what they had was that much stronger and more real. Their plates were quickly discarded for more kissing and touching and mapping each other’s bodies before they fell asleep again. They awoke in the middle of the night for one more go, and Trini set her alarm so she could wake up before she had to be at work, and they snuggled together and slept more.

* * *

Trini had a cigarette between her lips as she emerged from the woods the next morning at dawn. It had been so hard to leave Kim alone, naked in her bed, but Trini needed the extra work at her Tío’s shop. She began to walk past the campfire site, but noticed a figure perched on one of the chairs. Head bent into his hands, fingers tight in his hair...it was Zack. She came to a stop and frowned.

“Zack?”

He looked up and his eyes were bloodshot and wild. He looked like he hadn’t slept. His hair stuck out in every odd direction. His jaw was tight and he glared at her. “Where the_ fuck _ have you been?”

“Around,” she answered vaguely, feeling her body tense at the question. 

“Around,” he snorted and shook his head. He laughed, but it was joyless and cold. “I been textin’ and callin’.”

“You know I ran out of minutes,” she shrugged. “Haven’t gotten ‘round to uppin’ ‘em.” She scratched her nose. “What’s up?”

“_ What’s up _?” He mocked, darkly. “What’s up is you were gonna meet me and Billy in the park last night.”

“I got tied up,” she defended, voice harsh. 

He laughed again and held his hands out, shaking his head. “That’s all it ever is anymore! Maybe I shoulda expected it! _ Maybe _ I shoulda been on time!”

“Zack! What’s goin’ on?” Trini was getting sick of his attitude.

“I was fifteen minutes late!” He shouted. “You know who wasn’t?! Billy! An’ y’know who also wasn’t late?! Few socs who decided to see how much blood they could get out of ‘im!”

“Wh-what?” Trini’s vision went blurry and she took a shaky step backwards.

“Know what it’s like hearin’ his mom scream his name when she sees me carry him into the hospital lookin’ like he’s dead?!” Zack moved forward at Trini and she stepped back again.

“Is he...is he…?” She couldn’t get the word out. Terror ran through her faster and hotter than her anger.

“He’s alive...for now,” Zack answered. He shook his head, his hardness fading and his face crumpling. “We _ needed _ you, T. _ He _ needed you!” And tears hit Zack’s cheeks, but he didn’t seem to notice. He still stared at her as though she could fix it all. “Where _ were you _?”

  
The one place she shouldn’t have been.

Trini stumbled back, over a rock, and fell on her ass. She turned on her knees quickly and vomited.


End file.
